As parents of a one year old, one of the days that you dread the most is the first day that you are away from your child.  Especially if you are traditional like myself.  I have to admit, I am having a difficult time with placing Elias in childcare at the tender age of one.  It just does not seem right.  He’s just too little, he cannot communicates (sans crying) and fend for himself.

Good childcare is hard to find.

Tracy did an amazing job of interviewing candidates and we ended up selected on who met our criteria.  So we tested it for a few time with Eli going to this day home for an hour here, hour there.  The first few times, the experience was not that bad.  However as the sessions became longer, Elias was not comfortable in that environment.  In fact the last time he was there, after 45 minutes, the lady who owned the day home called Tracy to come and pick Eli up… after 45 minutes.  She said that he would not stop crying.  So Tracy went and picked him up.  I have a couple of issues with this.

1. First we interviewed this lady on multiple occasions and I purposely stated to her that, “…Elias will be one and he will require extra attention at times as a result.  Are you prepared for this (being that she had three other children to take care of)?  She replied confidently and as I probed to see how she would handle the situation, I was comfortable with here response… so fast forward to the last incident and calling Tracy after 45 minutes?  What gives?
2. If I am entrusting you with my most prized possession (i.e. my child) and am paying you good money, you had better be able to handle some crying and be able to comfort my child.   Especially if you call yourself a professional.

So needless to say we pulled the plug on this early.  This is not the environment I want my son in.  So as we had paid for the full month of child care we received a full 45 minutes… wne have yet to receive our money back.  Talk about frustrating.The bigger stress is now what do we do with regards to childcare?  We are fortunate that our families are close by and our moms will be helping out temporarily until we can find some appropriate childcare.  Quite honestly I prefer having family members look after the little guy.  He’s so little, and he likes his routine.  He needs familiarity.  I’m not trying to shelter the kid, he’s one year old, he has only been around for just over 365 days.  He should be aroud his family.  I understand that some parents don’t have any options and I feel for them, I really do.  For moms that go back to work, I now see the stress of having to try and find appropriate baby care.  It is not fun.  There is a lot of stress with trying to find appropriate childcare.  For me personally, I think that at the age of one, that the child’s family should be the one’s to deliver the childcare, not some stranger who treats your child as a number.

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Tags: Childcare Parenting

Well my wife is in the last quarter of her mat leave.  She is going back to work, full time in about three months time.  Elias will be one, and as a parent I am freaking out a little.  I am a little old school in that I think that children should be raised by their parents and not in day care or by a nanny.  However times have changed and in many families, both parents need to work.  In fact, according to 2004 Census data, in the US, 55% of moms are in the labor force.  This has changed greatly in the past 20-30 years.

So for the moms who are planning to go back to work, how do you plan for it?  Some moms have no choice as they are single mothers and need to provide for their families and their children.  Many suggest that society has made it difficult for people to have children as the cost of living has gone up tremendously over the years.  In this day and age, parents really have to plan for having children and that includes having a plan for mom to go back to work.

Preparing to Return to Work

So how should moms and parents prepare for mothers of young children to go back to work?

1. Plan a Timeline – determine what the timeline looks like as to when mommy will be going back to work. Factor in things such as how long you will be nursing your baby and ensure that you have established good routine with regards to feeding and sleeping. Depending on how far ahead that you are planning, you might want to consider creating a “milestone” calendar as a checklist to help you prepare for going back to work.
2. Plan Financially – going back to work is a big decision for mothers and for both parents. Be sure to carefully discuss your financial situation. Perhaps mom does not have to go back at full time capacity. This will determine how much time your child will need to be taken care of. Some parents are totally ok with putting their one year old in childcare for 5 days a week, while others are not. Some parents or single mothers have no choice. However for most families, they will need to plan financially as to whether or not mommy needs to return to work, and in what capacity.
3. Take Time to find Appropriate Childcare – whether it is a family member, a nanny, a day home or day care, take your time in finding a healthy environment for your child or children. This is probably one of the most important and difficult decisions that you will need to make as parents. We have all heard the horror stories of chilcare issues, so taking the time to find good childcare is a must. Many look to family, but that may not always be an option. Find the best environment that works for you.
4. Establish & Document your children’s routine – this is more for younger children and toddlers who will be in childcare.

Mothers who are thinking about going back to work after having a baby, especially in their thirties, have to make a big decision. It is a frightening thing to have to go through, but rest assured, there are great environments for your children. Having said that, I still feel strongly about parents raising their kids without outside childcare especially when the child is under two. I just think that children with stay at home parents tend to learn more about the important things in life such as morales, the importance of family, love and respect. I understand the need for social interaction, but really under the age of two, how much does the child really need to be around other kids for prolonged periods of 6-8 hours per day? They will get to experience that as they enter pre-school or similar environments. Let’s not rush things. Let’s let children be children and let the parents be responsible for them.

Call me old fashioned, but I simply think that raising a child is one of the most cherished and important things that we can do.

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Posted in Parenting

Tags: Childcare moms returning to work