Carols

Santa loves to sing. What better way to spread cheer than through these carols? Start practicing.

The Twelve Days of Christmas
(Remembering to emphasise 5 shots of baijiu, as in 5 golden rings.)
On the first day of Christmas my true love bought for me:
A Tsingtao for 7 RMB

On the second day of Christmas my true love bought for me:
2 rum and cokes
and a Tsingtao for 7 RMB

And so on:
3 dry martinis
4 Smirnoff Ice
5 shots of baijiu
6 Bacardi Breezers
7 Great Wall spritzers
8 vodka tonics
9 mulled wines
10 whisky sours
11 dark and stormys
12 tequila slammers

::

Beer and Gin
Beer and Gin and shots of Stoli
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

‘Tis the season to get trollied,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Proudly wearing red apparel,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.

Pissed and drunk and singing carols,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Santa’s here for merry mischief,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Losing clothes and baring ass cheeks,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

See the tourists stop and staring,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Take a photo if you’re daring,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Santas off to cause more mayhem,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Bars and clubs until 4 am,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Home with elves to get more drinkies
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Last a visit down their chimneys,
Fa la la la la, la la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

::

We Wish You A Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas;
We wish you a Merry Christmas;
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Good tidings we bring if you bring us gin;
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Oh, bring us some friggin’ peanuts;
Oh, bring us some friggin’ peanuts;
Oh, bring us some friggin’ peanuts and a pint of good beer.

Good tidings we bring if you bring us gin;
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

We won’t go until we get drunk;
We won’t go until we get drunk;
We won’t go until we get drunk, so bring us cold beer.

Good tidings we bring if you bring us gin;
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

We wish you a Merry Christmas;
We wish you a Merry Christmas;
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

::

SantaCon is coming to town
You better watch out
You better take fright
You better keep your daughters at home tonight
SantaCon is coming to town
SantaCon is coming to town
San-ta-Con is com-ing to town

We’re making a list
Of bars we can hit
Where happy hour’s on
And the elves are really fit
SantaCon is coming to town
SantaCon is coming to town
San-ta-Con is com-ing to town

We know what you’ve been up to!
You’ve made the naughty list.
So buy us beer and vodka,
Coz we’re nicer when we’re pissed

So get out of the way,
Of our red suited wave,
Is this anyway,
For St Nick to behave.
San-ta-Con is com-ing to town!