Eyeshot has been internationally
accessible since 1999. Fiction, photographs, rants, reviews, links, essays,
and other unclassifiables are accepted and declined. We pay in dissemination
and validation, however meager.
Review of stories received from random people via e-mail is our volunteer
work. It's how we try to make the world a better place. Or if not "better"
than at least a little less shitty thanks to free international dispersal
of odd and hopefully semi-humorous or at least unexpectedly sidewinding
displays of language. As such, Eyeshot receives and reviews electronic
(ie, e-mailed) submissions sent to xxx at eyeshot.net.
If you'd like to send long breathless love letters; antique postcards;
old mixed tapes discovered in a box in your parents' basement you made
when a post-adolescent depressive; ironic garments for a 612 month-old
baby, particularly black sleeveless/legless onesies), the old-fashioned
mailing address is BOX 18009 Phila PA 19147. Although submissions are closed,
you can still send us stuff.
Some further ideas for those enticed to submit: Please include boatloads
of biographical information and links to every possible previous publication
and the name of every professor you ever heard speak or slept with at your
prestigious NYC MFA program you'll soon graduate from +$80K in debt, and
-- very important! -- make sure to mention how many times you've been nominated
for a Pushcart Prize. We would also like to see links to most if not all
of your social media accounts, esp. Goodreads, Twitter, Uganda, Tumblr,
Whatnot, and Facebook. If you would like to start a Kickstarter fundraiser
thing to raise money for a bribe to grease our editorial palms, please
make sure to do that well in advance of your submission. (Note: we can
be bribed pretty easily these days but when it comes to bills we prefer
larger a lot more than smaller.)
Specific Recommendations & Restrictions
Once there was a time when asked about submission guidelines we consulted
the many sages and they all replied, "Cows never roam from pastures with
no fences." We can't deny the wisdom of the sages. And so, there shan't
be submission guidelines. EXCEPT, to recognize that some people might want
to know what we tend to post without bothering to browse the
archive, we are now happy to offer somewhat explicit recommendations:
DO NOT SEND POETRY unless (1) it's disguised as prose, (2) it's totally
nasty & perverted, or (3) you're an
Egyptian.
DO NOT SEND ANYTHING if your e-mail address includes the words writer,
write,
poet,
or anything similar. If you are under 17 years of age, it's ok. But otherwise,
please do not submit.
PLEASE TRY NOT TO SEND whimsical pieces that are loaded with dialogue
and lots of lame pop-cultural references (we prefer mythological, literary,
art-historical, and/or misanthropomorphophagical allusions).
PLEASE TRY NOT TO SEND something about an emotionally cathartic moment
from your childhood (unless it involves dead clowns).
PLEASE TRY NOT TO SEND some small, relatively unimaginative, essayistic
piece about deli meats or chapstick or dentists.
PLEASE TRY NOT TO SEND anything that anyone would ever describe as "punk
rock."
PLEASE TRY NOT TO SEND anything if your favorite author is Bukowski.
Nothing against the man, but if he's your favorite author, please
send your submission elsewhere. Again, we have no real problem with Bukowski's
writing whatsoever, but if you're all about him, that is, if you write
like him way more than you write like yourself, please realize you're invited
to do two things: (1) pray for a big ol' rainstorm of sweet, sweet whisky,
and (2) insert and piston your skinny ashen thingy (assuming you're a boy)
into and out of the hole in the center of your collector's edition DVD
of Barfly.
PLEASE TRY NOT TO SEND anything that you would call "flash fiction."
Short pieces are fine to send, but not if you refer to them as "flash fiction."
We seem to have an unspecifiable problem with the term.
PLEASE REALIZE you can send any of the above but we won't accept them
unless they're really funny and/or wonderful. We tend to like things
that are denser (not so quick to include space breaks between sentences),
that are somewhat elusive and inventive and overblown languagewise and
not-so-sane aesthetically. OK? That's a hint intended to save us all time.
But then again, we are always open to reading anything you want to send.
It may seem like there are now some fences, but they're imaginary -- if
you don't want them to be there, that's fine - think of them as suggested
fences.
PLEASE REALIZE that we will have fun with our rejection letters if you
send your submission in an envelope with cold hard cash. Or bribe us first
via paypal. The more money you send the more performatively and possibly
helpfully we'll reject the little that we read. Please don't think that
including a dollar will get you much in terms of rejection, or that sending
$20 will entice us to accept the story. If you're feeling masochistic and
need some creative rejection in your life, you can buy our services.
Thanks
and Sorry and Good Luck: Rejection Letters from the Eyeshot Outbox
may prove an invaluable resource for prospective submitters interested
in discerning our editorial tendencies and taste.
(Again, and bolded for emphasis, no stories about dentists.)
PLEASE REALIZE we are no longer encouraging visitors to send stuff that's
plagiarized or transcripts of instant messages, although we did in the
past (before folks started using gchats in fiction, FYI).
Again, if you would like to send physical objects ($$$ or gifts or small
cat toys or ironic baby shirts [age 18-24 mo] or books/music to potentially
review), our mailing address is:
Eyeshot, PO Box 18009, Phila, PA 19147
To learn more about this site, we offer you this
link . . .
