Scoring the perfect hat-trick |
5 April ~ In Germany, you receive no recognition for scoring a hat-trick merely by virtue of notching three goals in a game. As though wishing to preserve the rarity value of a term that originates from cricket – where three consecutive wickets are seldom, but celebrated – the Germans only talk of hat-tricks using the adjective lupenrein, meaning “flawless”. All the goals must be scored consecutively, and in the same half. Even with such a qualification, however, this past weekend saw an unusual proliferation of flawless scoring feats. Although Wayne Rooney arguably besmirched his flawless hat-trick by cursing into a TV camera immediately after scoring three uninterrupted second-half goals in 14 minutes at West Ham, his achievement was pure by the German definition. Likewise St Mirren’s English striker Michael Higdon, who also scored a German-approved second half hat trick in a 3 -1 comeback win over Hamilton. Norwich’s Simeon Jackson was clearly disgusted by his team-mate Grant Holt’s failure to score a pure hat-trick against Scunthorpe. Holt’s three consecutive goals were distastefully spread either side of half-time, so Jackson stepped up to show him the virtues of clean scoring by whacking in three straight over the final 15 minutes of the 6-0 hammering at Carrow Road. Any arguments over possession of the match ball will be settled by a stern Teutonic judge. It seems very strange that in almost a century and a half of football, no one has come up with a term to celebrate the scoring of four goals (or five) in a game. It’s as though there’s a lingering amateur ethos that says scoring three is jolly good, but four or more is rather unsporting because it humiliates the opposition. Share this article: On the subject...
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