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Welcome to the Joseph Scrimshaw store. This is a place to buy things created by Joseph Scrimshaw as opposed to a place to buy Joseph Scrimshaw. Enjoy!

Joseph’s comedy EP, Rebel Scum, is all about Star Wars and our modern world. Digital and physical discs available now on Bandcamp.

A Very Holiday Thing is a collection of festive comedy stories about Batman, James Bond, Adult Santa, breaking up with snow, and more! Available exclusively on bandcamp!

AVAILABLE NOW ON:
Bandcamp
iTunes
Google Play
Amazon
CD Baby
(physical and digital)
and streaming on
Spotify
Download the Flaw Fest digital booklet here

FLAW FEST is a live comedy album full of fun comedy jokes about horrible human flaws PLUS a bonus album of awesome songs inspired by the comedy show.

The comedy album details Joseph’s horrible flaws: a sloth driven obsession to play bad James Bond video games, a stubborn need to fight with large animals, the idiocy to drink something called a Watermelon Shooter, the hubris to write a rock n’ roll song about a helium balloon, and much more. Plus a cameo by Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy of RiffTrax!

The music album features new songs by Paul & Storm, Molly Lewis, Bill Corbett, The Sevateem, John Roderick, John Munson, The Doubleclicks, Kevin Murphy, Mike Phirman, The Dregs, and Joseph himself.

Verbing The Noun is a guide to romance and sex for geeks, nerds, and other people with big brains. This stand-up comedy show contains real advice, horrible advice, and horrible real life stories from Joseph’s dating adventures. The show was recorded live at CONvergence sci-fi/fantasy convention on July 6, 2012.

AVAILABLE ON:
Bandcamp
Amazon
iTunes
Google Play
Cd Baby
(Digital and physical CD)
and streaming on
Spotify.

Enjoy the sample track “Sherlock Holmes’ Speed Date.”

Comedy of Doom is a collection of essays, parodies, and true stories covering every major topic in geek culture. Including smart, funny takes on video games, Star Wars, vampires, Doctor Who, Jane Austen, a complete guide to emotional preparation for the zombie apocalypse, instructions for the new sport called Competitive Hugging, and more.

PHYSICAL BOOK available on:
Amazon
CreateSpace

EBOOK available in these formats:
Kindle
Nook
Kobo
iBook

AUDIOBOOK (read by Joseph Scrimshaw, Bill Corbett, and Shanan Custer) available on:
iTunes
Amazon

OR you can purchase the PDF below if you want to enjoy a digital version with all the formatting, graphics, and illustrations of the physical book.

Comedy of Doom PDF is $3.99. After purchase, you’ll receive a link to download the PDF.

T-SHIRTS, MUGS, and MORE

Visit our page on Society 6 for T-shirts, mugs, hoodies, tote bags, and more featuring Joseph’s squirrel crest designed by Natalie Metzger and modeled above by Angela Webber of The Doubleclicks.

PLAYS by JOSEPH SCRIMSHAW

Purchase and download PDF scripts of Joseph Scrimshaw’s one and two-act plays for your reading pleasure. Joseph’s one act comedy written with Bill Corbett is also available. The plays have been produced in the Twin Cities (the majority of them have been top ten bestsellers at the Minnesota Fringe Festival) as well as New York, Chicago, Seattle, Las Vegas, San Francisco, Orlando, the UK, Peru, Bulgaria, and more. If you’re interested in producing one of the shows, contact us here.

Adventures In Mating PDF

Adventures in Mating is a one act audience interactive romantic comedy inspired by Choose-Your-Own-Adventure novels. YOU play the role of cruel fate! When a dysfunctional couple on a terrible blind date can't make simple decisions such as red or white wine, leave or stay, kiss or slap, the audience votes and the show takes off in wildly different directions.

My Monster PDF

My Monster is a one act comedy about making your very own monster. A Hollywood screenwriter spices up a presentation on the secrets of great writing by creating a new character right before the audience's eyes. It’s Frankenstein meets Mamet with fewer swear words in this comic exploration of the Hollywood machine, fragile egos, sparkling wine, and the endless battle between plot and character. Co-created by Joseph Scrimshaw and Bill Corbett of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and RiffTrax fame.

An Inconvenient Squirrel PDF

An Inconvenient Squirrel is a one act live action cartoon for the stage. In the lost village of the Squirrel People every squirrel is named for their most distinctive trait—there's Clumsy Squirrel, Wise Squirrel, and even Socially Awkward Squirrel. But the village is thrown into chaos when a young squirrel refuses to pick a name—the inconvenient squirrel. Designed to engage both children and adults on their own level, this funny fast-paced morality tale tackles issues of identity and conformity with wit, intelligence, and a lot of adults dressed as squirrels.

The Worst Show in the Fringe PDF

The Worst Show in the Fringe is a lightning-fast one act comedy about the wicked world of festival theater. When a pompous actor has his one-man Fringe show panned by an equally pompous critic, what is the actor to do but kidnap the critic? My E-Mails With Shakespeare may just be the worst show in the history of the Fringe Festival, but did it deserve to be attacked in the press? Do artists have the right to expect a friendly review? Should critics start hiring bodyguards? Does anyone who attends theater actually care?

The Damn Audition PDF

The Damn Audition is an evil comedy about evil. What's Up, Satan? is the hottest television pilot in LA. Only a handful of desperate actors remain in the audition room of hell. What won't they do to land the lead role of Lucifer? This fast-paced one act comedy about everyday, human evil is also a sequel in spirit to The Worst Show in the Fringe.

Fat Man Crying PDF

Fat Man Crying is a two-act holiday comedy featuring a unique mix of sweet and snarky humor that critics describe as "gently irreverent." A depressed Santa Claus breaks into the home of a happily married couple on Christmas Eve. Can the couple save Santa? Will he destroy the marriage by telling the couple where they fit on his naughty and nice list? Or will they all fall victim to the deadly charm of Santa's mysterious arch-enemy, Dave?

Stitch, Bitch, and Die PDF

Stitch Bitch N' Die is a two act murder mystery comedy that celebrates and pokes fun at the crafting arts. Lucy and her caustic friends find a fresh target for their bitching when a smug screenwriter arrives to interview them about his new knitting inspired murder mystery screenplay. But life quickly imitates art when the lights go out and the screenwriter is found strangled with yarn and stabbed with knitting needles. Who is guilty? Who is innocent? Who will finish their scarf first?

Brain Fighters PDF

Brain Fighters is a one act family friendly comedy inspired by the world building aesthetic of Japanese anime. A wizard takes over the world when he discovers the power to turn into anything he can imagine: A T-Rex! A Dust Bunny! The Color Puce! So a young hero sets out to save the world--whether it needs saving or not. A physically inventive, action-adventure comedy about learning to see things from more than one perspective.

Nightmare Without Pants PDF

Nightmare Without Pants is an absurd one act comedy about fear, happiness, and pants. You're invited to Tracy Sparks' nightmare. Because she did her taxes wrong, she has less than an hour to fall in love with a random stranger in front of a live audience. If she fails, even scarier things will happen.

Spooky Spooky Scary Scary DVD

In the dark ages before Kickstarter (2009), Joseph and friends made a short Lovecraftian web series and released it on DVD!

Spooky Spooky Scary Scary is the episodic tale of Chuck and Dexter–best friends, roommates and huge fans of horror author HP Lovecraft. But when the Great God Cthulhu sends Chuck a dream, the duo form the world’s worst cult ever. Armed only with the power of the internet, cheap beer, small daggers, and poor social skills they vow to spread the bad word that Cthulhu is real. A brutally sharp tale of obsession, fantasy and the comic horror of reality. Starring Joseph Scrimshaw and Tim Uren. Produced by Joking Envelope and Moontalk Productions. Check out a short trailer here!

Spooky Spooky Scary Scary DVD is $12 with shipping included.