Most people live and thrive in community.  We have families and friends.  We join clubs and teams.  We attend concerts and sporting events.  We meet on playgrounds and community centers, places of worship, bars and clubs.  We eat, play, love, laugh, and cry in groups – from two people to uncountable crowds.  

The good news is that this inclination to gravitate toward groups helps maintain social structures.  This is also the bad news.  Even if there is a better way to live, even a way that protects and advances the community, the community tends to avoid change, question outsiders, and categorize people as being “in” or “out” of a particular group.  Are you part of the “in crowd” or are you an “outsider?”  Being an “insider” usually feels better and safer, while being an “outsider” may feel uncomfortable and even scary.

You might have been resistant to fully living vegan because you were concerned about becoming an “outsider” when those you love and those who love you are not yet on the vegan path.  Living vegan in a group that is not vegan can lead to hard feelings, questions, and even hostility toward your vegan choices.  The group may feel protective of the patterns to which they have grown accustomed.  It really has nothing to do with you or your choices.

The good news is that there is no reason you have to leave your beloved family, friends, or community.  Be patient, live by example, stay positive, answer questions, and share delicious vegan food.  You’ll grow more comfortable with time and you may just inspire others to live vegan. 

And remember, for those of you looking for community, there is a large and growing vegan community ready to welcome everyone with open arms, hearts, and minds.

Most people live and thrive in community. We love our families and friends. We join clubs and teams. We attend concerts and sporting events. We meet on playgrounds and community centers, at the movies, places of worship, bars and clubs. We eat, play, love, laugh, and cry in groups – from two people to uncountable crowds.

A fun way to explore plant-based living is to find a community of like-minded, caring people. And a quick way to do that is through Meetup.com. 

There are vegan Meetup groups sprouting up all over the world. They vary from neighborhood potlucks, to movie nights and family get-togethers, to advocacy events. Not everyone in these groups is vegan – many are just starting out, are looking for support or answers, or are looking for friends with whom to share the bounty of the latest Meatout Mondays recipe.

Wanting to share the joy and excitement you feel about living vegan with your friends and loved ones can feel all-consuming.  Having opened your heart and mind to a whole new way of living, thinking, and being, you might feel like you want to tell the world!  Who wouldn’t?  What a miraculous thing you’ve discovered -- if only everyone knew, then everyone would join you on the vegan path, right?  Well…

If you hit that wall, don’t let it knock the wind out of you.  Your journey is unique to you.  While you may have seen, read, experienced, and discovered things that now make perfect sense to you and make living vegan the obvious solution, your friends and family members might not quite see it your way… yet. 

As your family and friends discover that you've become vegan, some will be genuinely interested in what it means to live vegan; others may be concerned for your health; and some may feel a little uncomfortable because they don’t know what vegan means, or they’re not sure that you are still you.  See other sections of Social Situations for tips.

You know your friends and family better than anyone.  But here’s some advice from some of us who’ve been there: Live by example.  Your friends and family want to know you still care about them and that you’re not rejecting them.  You’re not rejecting them, you’re rejecting the use of animals, you’re rejecting violence, and you’re rejecting waste.  You don’t have to preach and hand out literature or try to get your friends to watch undercover animal slaughter footage or read the books you’ve read.  Be patient.  Live by example.  Plant seeds and they will grow.

If you want to introduce your family to living vegan, good for you!  Trying to get family members to live vegan can be especially frustrating.  New information, however helpful, is often hardest to hear from those who are close to us. 

Happily, living vegan is becoming part of our cultural awareness in the U.S. – from headline news to talk show hosts and sports heroes, from former U.S. presidents to the folks next door, living vegan isn’t so foreign anymore.

If your family is resistant to your ideas, don’t despair.  Be true to yourself and your principles.  Live by example.  When others see you happy, healthy, and living a life that is focused, dedicated, and wholly connected to your principles, you may be surprised how far your message can go. 

Some of us who struggled trying to convince our family and friends to join us on the vegan path found that it helped to focus our advocacy outside our immediate circle.  The time and energy you spend trying to convince a person who resistant to living vegan might be better spent helping those who are open and eager to the idea.  Help thousands of people and save countless animals by helping us Spread the Word.

As with any established group or culture, change does not come easily.  New ideas are often unwelcome and those who bring the new ideas are often seen as aggressors, even when those ideas are offered with love or in the spirit of helping the group.  So, even the most loving, thoughtful, well-mannered person making their vegan lifestyle known to a non-vegan family or group of friends may be met with hostility. 

Try not to take resistance as a personal attack.  It might help family members and friends who read this to know that just because a loved one has decided to live vegan, this does not mean they don't want to be close to those they love.  It simply means they’ve found something very important to them; to live their lives fully, they feel they must be true to this awakening – and they might want to share that excitement with you.

From Colleen Patrick-Goudreau’s The 30-Day Vegan Challenge (2011, page 263):

“I believe we come into this world ful