Things I Think At, But Do Not Say To, People At The Gym #36
by Tara Ariano on August 5, 2011
in New York,News,Things I Think At, But Do Not Say To, People At The Gym
If you expect people upstairs, in the locker rooms, and outside on the sidewalk to know how you feel about the latest stock market news, you are going to have to huff and sigh just a tiny bit louder.
{ 0 comments }
I Think I Might Be Ready To Try Lobster
by Tara Ariano on July 27, 2011
in Dorkiness,Food,New York
Growing up in a landlocked province exactly halfway between two oceans, fish was not a staple of my diet. In fact, I don’t recall my mother ever even trying to feed me any kind of seafood (other than tuna salad, or battered whitefish in a fish-and-chips scenario) until my mom married my dad came along — and the violent retching with which I met their first efforts at introducing me to shrimp is still part of family lore. (My mom didn’t want to give in to what she thought were theatrics, whereas my dad either could tell I wasn’t faking my revulsion or didn’t want to ruin his own meal with the threat that I might not choke mine down.)
[click to continue…]
{ 29 comments }
Viewmaster
July 6, 2011This may prove to be my best purchase of the summer.
Things I Think At, But Do Not Say To, People At The Gym #35
June 29, 2011No one can stop you from working out in what are, without a doubt, the most spectacularly crotchworn gym shorts I have ever seen. I guess I’m kind of surprised that common decency hasn’t caused you to think twice about wearing them on the recumbent bike positioned directly at the top of the stairs, but [...]
The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills With My Sister">A Short Play About Watching The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills With My Sister
June 25, 2011Leah: Would you have sex with Kelsey Grammer for $4 million? Me: Yes. …Well, wait: if I wasn’t already married. Leah: What if Dave could also have sex with someone who’d pay him $4 million? Me: Who? Leah: Someone equally as gross as Kelsey Grammer? Me: Who’s equally as gross as Kelsey Grammer? Leah: Camille. [...]
I Wish I Knew What This Means!
June 13, 2011In my last dream before I woke up this morning, Anthony Weiner had decided to try to burnish his image by volunteering at my local branch of the public library. It seems like that would be a good idea, but there were a few problems. First, the put-upon, disgusted attitude that was so hot when [...]
I Got A New Haircut
June 10, 2011Or should I say, “I got new hairCUTS”?! I shouldn’t. But let me explain. In 2008, I got this haircut. And I kept it like that, more or less, for the next three years. (In early 2009, I changed salons, and my new stylist — the wonderful Lee at Arrojo — started undercutting it with [...]
The Ballad Of Dave’s Murdered Roach
June 1, 2011He wasn’t a man with much blood on his hands Though he’d shoo human trespassers off of his lands. But the time came for him to take one of his stands, And Dave had to murder a roach. In the heat of the night, he intended a run. He was donning his shoes in the [...]
Things I Think At, But Do Not Say To, People At The Gym #34
June 1, 2011Technically, this wasn’t something I thought, but I think the author and I could probably hang.
Ricky Gervais Is Very Right Sometimes
May 20, 2011For instance, Ricky Gervais is 100% dead right about the unprecedented stuntcasting in last night’s finale of The Office. Watching The Office finale may remind some of the Chris Martin episode of Extras. “It’s only Warren Buffett…….. What are you doing in a paper merchant’s in Scranton? It’s mental.” If you’re going to jump a shark, [...]
← Previous Entries