Stop Your Pain…and Then Stop the Affair
What You Must Know to Ease Your Infidelity Pain
...that others never told you
Dr. Huizenga here.
I’ve worked with literally thousands since I started my private practice in Marriage and Family Therapy in 1981.
The pain, confusion and utter devastation of infidelity top the list of all time personal crises. (Yes, the death of a child is close, but that grieving is understood and accepted much more than the turmoil of infidelity.)
Infidelity rocks you to your core. You fee dread, paralysis, rage and downright fear. The pain invades every cell. Day and night the pain oozes its poison.
 Your trust is destroyed. You now know only a stranger. Your inner compass is gone.
You wonder if the affair and this pain will EVER end. Will the affair stop?
Your dreams are shattered.
Your self esteem is shredded. What is wrong with YOU? Are you defective?
You feel cast aside. A new model has taken your place.
You feel betrayed, lied to and you never thought this would happen.
You feel like a loser. Someone else has won.
You are embarrassed and humiliated.
You feel utterly alone and want to hide.
You feel ignored and diminished, like an afterthought.
You feel helpless, victimized, immobilized, enraged, confused and scared to name a few. It tears at you day and night. Your mind and body can find no escape from the incessant pain.
This pain is real and powerful.
Sue bravely shares her thought of ending it all…
as a way to get rid of her pain…and why she is still here!
Watch this 2 minute video
Why Infidelity is NOT a Deal-Breaker
No one ever taught you about infidelity truths. Instead you were exposed to:
Most say, “If s/he cheats on me, it’s over. I will walk out. Infidelity is THE deal-breaker.” But, once it happens to you, you know that statement goes out the window. It’s NOT that simple.
Parents, relatives or friends cheated but it was never truly talked about. It was hush-hush or you knew, but weren’t supposed to know. Rumors and gossip were the only information on infidelity.
Infidelity is subtly glamorized in movies, tabloids, novels and the media. After all, isn’t “falling in love” the ultimate, even when it’s with someone other than your spouse?
You watch politicians, clergy and celebrities destroy their careers and shoot themselves in the foot with infidelity and you ask, “What is going on?”
Our society screams: “A lousy marriage causes infidelity and a straying spouse.” Oh, so it is YOUR fault that your spouse CHOSE to have an affair? Couldn’t s/he use a different strategy to get at his/her emptiness? Kinda crazy!
Get Over the Fact that You are at Fault!
Sue Tells You How She Refused to be Responsible for Jerry’s Affair.
Watch this 2:45 minute video:
Your pain, confusion and fear continue, without relief without effective help and guidance.
I Truly Want You to Feel Better
To alleviate and in some case totally eradicate your pain, I encourage you to download my ebook, “Break Free From the Affair.”
To be honest, the success of “Break Free From the Affair” has been humbling and surprising. Since 2003 thousands of e-books have been sold and testimonials are forthcoming every day.
Why? I ask. Where is it’s power?
I’ve poured over the countless testimonials and one theme keeps jumping out: I FEEL BETTER! OH, I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER!!
When I first found out I was enraged & your book helped to calm me down. All of the above rolled up = he stopped internet cheating & I'm not vested as much, because if it happens again, I will know what to look out for. Also our relationship is better & I have a more realistic view of understanding him. It would hurt, but I'd be exited to move forward without him....You cured my discomfort of this dis-ease! Sincerely, Laurie
I just want you to know how comforting I've found "Break Free... “I am actually beginning to personally detach myself from this whole situation. There is no comparison between my present mental/emotional state today and just 3 weeks ago. I feel pretty confident to confront my husband now.
I don't even know you, but you and your book have been a tremendous comfort to me! I am anxious to see how my husband responds to my newfound inner strength and assertiveness.
I read it Monday night and by Tuesday, I felt really good. I felt like I could control everything and not have him in my thoughts every second.
The Break Free from the Affair ebook finally gave me some peace of mind and a roadmap to follow.
I actually feel a little better because it seems like such a practical tool.
I find your writings an incredible source of comfort. I find power in knowledge and you have helped me regain myself in all this mess. THANK YOU! Bill |
Whewww! I'm Normal! Not Crazy!
"Break Free From the Affair" quickly helps you understand that the pain and fear are normal. You are not crazy! And, You are not alone. The undisputable response to infidelity IS your pain.
After all the very essence of you, your sexuality and your value as a human being are lambasted.
Who wouldn’t want to crawl into a ball and wish it were a nightmare or go on a bender of rage destroying everything in sight.
As usual your information is right on the mark. It’s uncanny how your stuff seems to reach me just when I am looking for the information. It's marvelous to read. It makes me feel normal again. Regards Yvette
I reread it anytime I start feeling that things are getting out of control. It helps put things in perspective.
Already, I have started putting into practice the suggestions from your materials and usually feeling empowered.
I was able to wait through a roller coaster with patience and understanding while the affair burned itself out. I didn't have to do an ugly confrontation, but used little phrases like you suggested at specific times, then kept my mouth shut. This one was the "I fell out of love" one. Thanks for giving me back my sanity and assuring me that I am not deficient, the marriage was not horrible, etc. Barbara |
Which of the 7 Types of Affairs Stare You in the Face?
An affair is more than the random work of hormones.
There is rhyme and reason for one having an affair. And, the reasons go deep, very deep.
I will help you identify the type of affair facing you.
It will become abundantly clear to you and probably a surprise that affairs are NOT about “falling in love” with someone else.
I will, in detail, explain the 7 types of affairs, the people who have them and why. You will know more about the inner secrets of infidelity than 99.999% of the population.
From these 7 unique types of affairs you will pinpoint your spouse and your situation:
- My Marriage Made Me Do It
- I Can't Say No
- I Don't Want to Say No
- I Fell Out of Love (and just love being in love)
- I Want to Get Back at Him/Her
- I Need to Prove My Desirability
- I Want to be Close to Someone (which means I can't stand intimacy)
“I was on a emotional roller coaster when I found out that my wife was having an affair (#4). Everything you said about the typical reactions for the offended were dead on.”
I've read the book---some parts over and over---and indeed it's worth it.
My wife had #6, she needed to prove her desirability. Your book, which I now suggest to everyone in my situation, really nailed her personality type and issues related to the affair.
Your book helped me to see what kind of affair it is and how to treat it.
Knowing the type of Affair helps to understand the why, and how to go about making the decision whether or not to stay in the marriage. |
You will be able to tell Your Future and the Future of the Affair
Yes, you can see into the future. Affairs are predictable. Once you identify the patterns you can project ahead and know what most likely will happen next. Here are a few examples:
You CAN know how long he will be involved in that affair
You CAN know whether he is more susceptible to a one-night stand or a long-term affair
You CAN predict whether this will be the one and only affair or whether more are down the line
You CAN predict the nature of his relationship with the OP
You CAN know whether they will live happily ever after
You CAN know whether it is primarily a sexual relationship or emotional relationship
You CAN predict how and when the affair will end.
I read your book the other night and it was very inspirational.…the 7 things you suggest in the appendix are great.
...you pose pertinent and sometimes uncomfortable questions
Thank you, I feel like I have an answer now and help. Thank you again. Bless you for helping so many people. I wish I had found your site a year ago and I might not be in this mess. Sincerely, Debra.
It was like a road map because I wanted to work on my marriage but did not have any clues. |
You will have a Roadmap to Save Your Marriage, if you so choose
Once you have gathered yourself emotionally with the pain and fear subsided or gone, and one you see the larger picture and look with almost interest at the type of affair and motives you’re your spouse or partner, you are ready to ACT.
In “Break Free From the Affair” I provide an outline of exactly what action you can take for each kind of affair.
I put words into your mouth, giving you phrases you can use with your partner that fit exactly your situation.
With each kind of affair I list skills that work best with that affair and increase your chances for making significant change.
You learn 16 skills that you easily learn and apply to the 7 different affairs: (you will only need to learn and apply those skills applicable to the affair facing you. I'll show you the one(s) that will work best for you.)
You will learn when and how to
- send messages
- use silence
- get to the real commitment
- leap your partner
- look for upset
- contextualize
- peel away layers to the truth
- gap the goal
- and 8 more skills and communication tools
Your e-book is not only helpful, but life-changing. The paranoia that gripped me, including the suspicions, the doubts, the desire to harm the "OP" (you know, physically hurt him to teach him a lesson), and the emotional pain that went along with all of that have subsided to the point where I can look at my wife as a hurting individual. I understand that I am not to blame and that the only person I can change is myself. I also understand that I did have a role in "pushing" her away, although her choice to deal with it was a "crappy" one. What is liberating is the fact that when I let go of her, I was free to see how hard I was holding on. It was so bad that every time she would go to the restroom or go on-line or be away from me for more than a minute, I would immediately suspect her of contacting the "OP". It was a cancer eating me alive. But I know that the changes occurring within me will last the rest of my life and give me the courage to face whatever the future holds. Your book and strategies have opened up a new doorway to help me face life's challenges and I am most thankful. Michael
The portions of the book I have read have helped me enormously. I feel I have some direction in how to pick up the pieces and make decisions that will be good instead of destructive. No matter how this turns out I'm already allot better off (feeling wise) than he appears to be Seems like your recommendations are right on target - he can't figure out exactly what is going on I clearly identified what kind of "cheater" my husband is and feel a great sense of relief as well as strategies on how to approach him accordingly.
Already, I have started putting into practice the suggestions from your materials and usually feeling empowered. linda |
Who You Become May Surprise and Delight You
I encourage you to download “Break Free From the Affair” now. I’ve poured my life’s work into this baby. It represents contact with thousands of clients and hundreds of couples, hundreds of hours of professional supervision, tens of thousands of dollars spent on professional education and tens of thousands of hours spent in direct client contact.
Download now and use me. Take advantage of everything I’ve learned and condensed into this powerful e-book.
In 5 minutes I will put on your computer screen the answers, strategies and never-before-published knowledge base you MUST have to:
Get through this faster! Gain confidence. Clear the fog of confusion and diminish the pain.
Have the crazy days, sleepless nights, absent appetite and queasy stomach fade.
Find the strength and courage you never thought you had. Exude a new power. He will notice and it will shake his world.
Know in your heart that the affair is not your fault. No more self-blame and self-loathing. (You really did your best, you know)
Know exactly why he had the affair. You will know him better than he knows himself.
In the next 6 months turn this disaster into a new opportunity.
Melt your rage and hurt into understanding and eventually compassion.
Become an expert in affairs. Outsmart him and the OP.
Be tough AND patient and understanding.
Eyeball him and he will be the first to blink.
Surprise yourself and partner with your newfound wisdom and insight.
Have a REAL chance to stop the affair.
Say the right words that shake your partner to the bone so he stops to truly consider the folly of the affair.
The direct way that you present your info gets my attention immediately. Your voice speaks to me with experience and knowledge that is rare in your field. You "get it" and I thank you very much!! Have a great day. – D
Thank you so much for writing Break Free and making available for instant download. It has saved my marriage and perhaps saved my life when I was down the most
I'm taking your advice and feel confident and at peace that I am on the path to reclaiming my integrity.
I downloaded it last night and it has been very eye-opening. It is wonderful that just when I needed some practical and sound advice. |
You can download the book right now for only $49.95.
Think about the Value of Your Marriage and the Value of Your Sanity
- What monetary value do you place on that?
- Freedom from your pain and fear is worth how much to you?
- Grabbing on to a game plan that just might stop the affair or redirect its course is how much to you?
Remember, I’ve logged over 30,000 hours of direct client contact. Clients have paid me thousands of dollars over time to help with their personal and relational concerns.
And, now I’m offering to you, in a condensed powerful form, everything I know, at this point, about infidelity for ONLY $49.95.
Now, I’m not bashful in pushing it, because of all the emails, phone calls and messages from those who claim that the e-book and my other materials in some cases literally saved their life or dramatically offered hope and a new direction filled with joy and peace.
I’m not saying this to brag either. I’ve poured my heart, soul and financial reserves in getting to this point of expertise.
I’ve labored long and hard and have jumped through all the professional hoops. I’m not proud of myself. I’m pleased and humbled that I’ve served so many over the course of two plus decades.
I want you to be one of those.
And, I know “Break Free From the Affair” works.
Here's How You Can Get Started Breaking Free From the Affair in the Next 5 Minutes...
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Your order is processed immediately, and you'll get a receipt for your purchase with a transaction number and a link to where you can download your book right away.
You'll be reading your book in less than 5 minutes.
I'll tell you in the introduction how to use the book; devise new strategies that will help you make a difference and get pointed in the right direction right now.
You will want to go back to this book time and time again as you do what you must do to create the life and love relationship you really want.
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HOW TO "GET OVER IT"
FOR GOOD!
The CURE for Every Upset |
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