Can You Live In The Maybe?
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Can you live in the maybe?
When my Dad asked my Mom to marry him, she didn’t say yes or no… She said maybe.
When I think about that, it makes me a little edgy. To think that the person I love said maybe, instead of an immediate yes, puts my ego into an uproar.
What did my Dad do? Did he demand that she answer him now and tell her that if she didn’t say yes, that she didn’t really love him? Nope.
My Dad said, “Cool, well I’ll give you 10 years to think about it…” And that was that; he let it go.
Then, two weeks later my Mom said yes and they’ve been happily married for 32 years.
I credit this partly because of this major act of selfless trust that my Father placed into my Mom without any pressure. There is a lot to be learned from this act of trust.
I know if it had been me, I don’t know if I could have kept my cool. I would have wanted an immediate answer. I mean, my emotions and heart are on the line; you don’t mess with those! But instead of being demanding and selfish, my Dad let go and trusted the outcome.
How many of us can do that in life? Instead of demanding what we want and wanting it now, can we ask The Uni-verse for what we want, and then let go? Can we rest in the peace of the moment knowing we are provided for and that the perfect thing, which is probably better than what we asked for in the first place, will show up?
Do we really have the faith to live the maybe? Or better put, can we see that the delays of The Uni-verse are not It’s denials? Can we let go and let things unfold naturally?
The Truth is that the perfect outcome will happen. My Mom told my Father yes; but if she had said no, he would have gotten the Truth and been able to move on to find a woman who loved him and could go the distance.
Ask for the emotional sobriety and peace of mind to be ok living the maybes. Get comfortable in the in-between. Know that delays are not denials and have fun in the moment, in the mean time, as it evolves into an ever better version of reality.
Do you have what it takes to live the maybe today?
Love,
Mastin
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Mastin Kipp is the CEO and Founder of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here.
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I don’t have what it takes.
It’s been 14 years , I am in the may be.
I am tired of that constant pain. whenever I feel good about myself, images are coming from my inner self wanting some more. Wanting someone to walk with.
I have changed, I’ve tried hard, I’ve pursued.
No one ever cared for me. No one loved me back. I’ve always been the one to work, to compromise to do everything only to be told No. To be let down, to cry and to find the strengh to get over it, forgive and go on.
I am tired of that all. I am not going after anything, I’ve asked and all I want is an answer to come. If it is yes , I know what to do, if it is no I also know..
But the may be is just too much for myself. I have been waiting , I want to go places to do things I don’t want regrets to come my way later on. For not trying enough, for not having put enough faith for not being persistent.
I am holding on, but my arms are weak and I just want to get rid of that dream and move on.
this may be is a no to me. but where is hope then ?
I was 14 then, I am 28 now.
Live in the moment and don’t think about tomorrow. Love will come your way. Just have fun and it will happen without trying. Fearing regret will hinder your ability to live.
@nine This is the story you’ve been telling yourself your entire life. That is the reason you have not found what you are looking for. Try telling a different story. A story where you are enough, you have someone who loves you like you love them and you no longer do all the work. Don’t live from the past. Create the future.
I think, if you’re tired of waiting after so long, it’s fair to make a decision for yourself also and choose what’s right for you.
I agree with living in the maybe, but when you’ve exhausted all your effort, you have to make a choice for yourself. I’m sure if Mastin’s father would have made it to the ten year mark, he also would have had to make a decision.
Love yourself FIRST. Stop blaming others for not loving you. If you’re always the one to work and compromise, maybe a refresher of your choices is a better option for you.
You can do it! You just have to DO it!
I absolutely loved this post. It made me think less of my romantic relationship and more of that with my mother and I. She lives with a chronic mental health disorder and I’ve been on all sides in terms of what i can and won’t allow, how far and how close our distances are, as well as a number of other things. Most days are maybes. Some days I even appreciate that, she is very much a journey as well as a mom.
But there are those stretches when the maybes are tough and I want, impossibly so, for her to be OK, to give me a straight answer, to, coldly put it, have her be competent. Seriously.
But, we are as we are made, and, I realize it’s not a passive activity to put it out there into the world, accept the maybe, and see who and what we all turn out to be in due time.
Thanks a great deal for the reminder.
I swear this is a must I have to work on “living in the maybe”
It’s refreshing to hear a different perspective on this one, because I have been living in a world of ‘is’ or ‘isn’t’ without maybe. I don’t know if I have the inner strength and understanding to get the maybe as much as I can handle the yes or no. Thank you for getting me to think about this one – very nice.
Your Dad is one tough dude! Thank you for sharing their story. We’re all incredibly grateful she said “yes”! One of my favorite yoga teachers frequently says “get comfortable with being uncomfortable” which resonates with the idea of “living in the maybe”. It’s a place filled with opportunities for growth.
I love this! It’s so hard to just let life carry you to where you need to be. I feel like I have to be in control of everything.
Yea, it is such a difficult thing to just let go and see where life takes you. I’m a bit of a control freak, but I’m going to learn to let go.
Love it! Can you live in the maybe; can you rest in the mystery, in the open-ended question that is life?
Why It’s OK To be Lost and Confused (i.e., “living in the maybe”):
www.theunlost.com/?portfolio=what-to-do-when-youre-lost-and-confused
You have no idea how much I needed to read this entry today. I am going through a very hard time in my marriage and this inspires me to realize that while things may not work out how I want, they will work out like they should.
Great! This can be applied for everything. Trusting the best will unfold for you – the job, the relationship, the whatever it is you’re seeking. I’ve not gotten jobs to later find out the position was eliminated a year later. A guy couldn’t commit to a date, later to find out he was struggling with his sexuality. I find more often than not the times I’ve tried to make things happen it doesn’t work out in the end. Great post Mastin!
Years ago I used to ask my boyfriend do you think we’ll get married? He answered, “maybe.” Do you think we’ll have children? “Maybe.” And now 14 years later we are very happily married with two beautiful children
. From those days “maybe” works for me.
I LOVE YOU MASTIN !!!! Is there a section for spiritgroupies ??? LOL !! That was a JOKE , the groupie part not the love part
Life itself is a “Maybe.” In reality, living in the maybe is what we do everyday… For us to think that an immediate answer will be the definitive outcome of anything is just creating a sense of comfort and reassurance at the time. In reality nothing is for sure. Nothing is, or will be, exactly as we expect it to be. Everything happens as it should, no matter what anyone says or does, and no matter how much anyone might want to control or manipulate the outcome. We may think that we can change things in our favor, that our minds can be overpoweringly set, and that our personal perspectives are completely unchangeable… but all it takes is one instant, one *other* maybe, to change it all in an instant.
This post today was great. Very inspirational and eye opening. I’m going through many things. Thank you for posting this, your website is the best.
Nice article, but you should only capitalize “mom/dad” and other titles when you can replace the word with a formal name into the sentence and the sentence makes sense (i.e., my mom, my father v. Mom, Dad). If “my” is in front of the word, then “mom/dad” should be lowercase.
Oooh thank you thank you! How timely. I was just thinking today how crazy (awesome), seemingly coincidental, but really divinely ordered things happen to me whenever I have that “maybe” “you never know…” attitude. xoxo
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Nice