Are French Parents Are Superior?
By Mrs. Bee February 9, 2012 @ 5:32 pmI didn’t get a chance to read the Wall Street Journal article on French parenting that’s been making the rounds on the internet until yesterday. I knew that it was huge when my mom forwarded me the piece last night — she only reads the Korean newspaper, and has never forwarded me anything in her life!
The article by Pamela Druckerman, an American mother of 3 living in Paris, seeks to discover why French children are so much better behaved than their American counterparts. They don’t throw tantrums. They sit quietly at restaurants. They play independently. They even sleep through the night at 2-3 months of age. French parents appear to utilize two parenting concepts that we’ve recently touched on: benign neglect and executive function.
French parents place a very high importance on benign neglect:
“The most important thing is that he learns to be happy by himself,” she said of her son, Aubane.
It’s a skill that French mothers explicitly try to cultivate in their kids more than American mothers do. In a 2004 study on the parenting beliefs of college-educated mothers in the U.S. and France, the American moms said that encouraging one’s child to play alone was of average importance. But the French moms said it was very important.
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A Re-purposed Nursery
By Mrs. Jacks February 9, 2012 @ 2:43 pmI know that we feature many amazing designers here with absolutely amazing nurseries. I am not one of those people, but I did my best to create a room that children would love to be in.
I was unable to nest prior to Little Jacks’ birth since we were planning to move when she was just 9 weeks old, so it was such a treat to finally do it. We created a pond theme centered around a limited edition print that was the lone left over item when I moved into an apartment in Seattle. I held on to the print, knowing that it might be perfect for a child’s room some day. We decided on a very gender neutral backdrop that we could embellish with a few feminine touches. Unfortunately, Little Jacks never slept in her room even once. She didn’t even like playing in there, so we’re glad we didn’t customize it for her too much.
Rather than doing a complete redesign on a room that I really liked and never really used, we decided to keep the theme and colors. When Little Jacks finally gets ready for “own room” and “own bed” (a girl can dream, right?), we have two options: either the kids can share a room or we can turn Mr. Jacks’ upstairs office into a bedroom. (Though I may have to fight him to get the room! I think one of his favorite parts of our house is that his commute to work is about 12 steps.)
Here’s a photo of the print we developed the theme around. It’s called “Opening Day” and it features mice fishing and frogs frolicking.
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Grandparents Know Best?
By Mrs. Yoyo February 9, 2012 @ 12:30 pmI’ll admit it: the first time I left Baby Y in my in-laws’ care, I had a brief but powerful internal meltdown. They don’t know his routine! What if they put him to sleep on his tummy! What if they give him food that he can choke on! (And so on.)
My husband gently reminded me that they managed to raise two kids without killing them. Also, I realized I was subjecting my in-laws to an unfair double standard. After all, it’s been awhile since my own parents have cared for an infant, but I wouldn’t think twice about letting them watch Baby Y for an afternoon.
Still, my anxiety is par for the course for a lot of people, I think. A lot has changed in the world of childrearing since we grew up, but a lot of grandparents haven’t gotten the memo, putting anxious new mommies and daddies in a delicate situation. How do we tell our own parents they’re doing something “wrong,” even if it was “right” when we were growing up – especially when they’re generously offering their childcare services in the first place?
Baby Y has six(!) grandparents who all want to snuggle him.
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DIY Chalkboard Crown
By DIY February 9, 2012 @ 10:26 amby: Jenny of Hank + Hunt
Remember those gold paper crowns when you were a kid? What if you could make one for your littlest in five minutes? I’ve wanted some of these for my boys forever, and I spied a bit of chalkboard cloth at the paper shop the other day. It’s a pretty thick and stiff cloth, perfect to hold the crown shape. The best part is they can draw on them or you can put their names on it — perfect for birthdays!
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Why I Don’t Breastfeed
By Mrs. Hide and Seek February 9, 2012 @ 8:00 amI’ve gotten emails and comments from many readers over the times asking me why I didn’t/don’t breastfeed my kiddos. It’s quite a hot topic, isn’t it? Although, maybe it’s not anymore. It’s a topic that has been beaten to death, that is for sure. It seems to me like most people breastfeed these days… most just assume that everyone else does. So, when asked if I’m nursing and I say “nope,” I often get a raised eyebrow.
I get it. It’s what has been proven to be the best choice and yadda yadda yadda. But, you know, I feel like asking someone if they are going to breastfeed is a personal question. And usually the people asking me are strangers. These people don’t know me from a hole in the wall. But they want to know if my baby is going to be breastfeeding? It just strikes me as odd. Maybe it’s just me?
Did you know, a stranger scolded my cousin for her choice to bottle feed her baby. She was at the grocery store and a stranger commented that she should be ashamed and that “The breast is best.” My cousin was shocked and told her to mind her own business. Well, I would have added a few more choice words to the conversation!
First of all, what we choose to do in our own lives is our own business and not up for others’ judgement or advisement unless asked for. Furthermore, this woman had no clue about what my cousin’s circumstances are. What if she were seriously ill and on medications? What if she were suffering from depression, and again, on medications? What if she’d had breast cancer and had a double mastectomy? What if she just well didn’t want to breastfeed? Do people ask themselves these things?
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