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Clarksonisms

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Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

+884

3 Comments

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

+393

5 Comments

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

+329

4 Comments

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

+261

9 Comments

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

+245

0 Comments

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

+211

2 Comments

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

+204

2 Comments

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

+197

1 Comment

On the Mercedes CLS55:

Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

+190

1 Comment

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

+168

1 Comment

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

+159

0 Comments

On the Enzo Ferrari

"I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

+148

1 Comment

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Clarksonisms

Affectionately referred to as Clarksonisms, Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson’s quips are the stuff of legends among car enthusiasts…

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Clarksonisms

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.

The air conditioning in a Lambo used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.

I would buy that car if I was the sort of person who looked at their sister and thought, mmmmmm.

On the Mercedes CLS55: Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

On the Enzo Ferrari "I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."

Clarksonisms

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On the Mercedes CLS55:

Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.

On the Enzo Ferrari

"I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing."