Patience is a Virtue I Don’t Always Have
by Karen on November 11, 2009
photo credit
So, my internet connection broke. Now, broke is a strong word. What kind of broke you say?
I spent the past three hours of my life on the phone with tech support trying to figure out what kind of broke.
And nothing tests your patience like trying to navigate a computer automated phone tree, while being transferred from department to department, and getting hung up on accidentally. Twice.
But, really, I’m not bitter. Just tested.
If you have read much of anything here on Dreamin’ the Life, you’ll know how I feel about complainers. I don’t enjoy them, and I try not to be one. I believe attitude is everything. But being on the phone with Deepak in tech support for the past 247 minutes does test my theory. It’s easy to be positive and non-complaining when life is good. The question is… are you a non complainer when life is difficult? Let’s just say I was tested today.
I like to go into customer service situations with a conscious attitude of patience and gratefulness. I actually like DMV visits, because it is a test in patience. It’s a test that most people around you fail, and I enjoy the people watching experience. I work in customer service five days a week, and then do some of the ultimate customer service on the weekends by being a server in a restaurant. If a customer is going to complain about anything, it is usually going to be about their food.
I have fairly extensive experience being on the service end of many different customer service industries. And, I have to say in my experience a good half of the general public are not happy people. Many don’t have basic manners, and many are just plain rude and selfish. But the happy, enjoyable and grateful people really do make up for the miserable ones. I could have a restaurant full of rude, oddly behaved people, and if one table of customers is fun, joking, and conscious of my personal struggles at the moment, it makes a world of difference. That one out of ten connection to a nice customer makes dealing with the 9 others bearable.
This makes me want to be that type of customer. I want to be that type of person.
Apparently my wireless router is broken. This took talking to three different companies, and three hours of trouble shooting, and a charge of $9.99 for the technical support. I’ve never been charged for technical support before, but they promised to either fix my problem or replace my defective unit for the low, low price of $9.99. And being the internet junkie that I am, I would gladly pay almost anything if you can fix a problem that I can’t figure out. Now, I have to mail in my unit, because it is apparently defective.
User error is most often ends up being the problem in my situation when it comes to technical issues, but after and hour and a half on the phone with Deepak, he decided that I did have a defective unit. And I’m thinking I tested Deepak’s patience quite a bit with my spectacular non-technical abilities. I’m always afraid when I call an 800 number help desk that I am the stupid customer that doesn’t realize that the power cord is not connected somewhere, and that’s all it takes to fix my problem. Possibly because, yes, I have been that customer.
Anyway, what I learned today is that patience takes concerted effort. And, even with that concerted effort, it sometimes runs low. But, my desire to be that one customer that brightens someone’s day out weighs my lack of patience. I know what it’s like to have a restaurant full of angry people, annoyed that their food is taking forever to come out. I know what it’s like to have that one customer that sees my struggle, and tells me that it’s okay, there’s no hurry. That one customer makes up for all of the negative ones.
So, I wanted to make a list of basic pointers about how you can be that spectacular customer that brightens someone’s day. There needs to be more people in the world like that. And, if I can have one reader from here come away from this post, and make more of an effort to be kind to their server next time they are in a restaurant or next time they are calling a customer service number, then I have accomplished my goal.
Make eye contact
If you are being served in person, take that extra second to make eye contact. Simply acknowledging someone’s presence, and giving them that respect of acknowledgment is so much more obvious when looking someone in the eye.
Use the person’s name.
It’s okay if you cheat and look at their name tag, or ask them what there name is. It’s proven that a person’s favorite word to hear is their own name, so this is the easiest trick in the book. Make an effort to say the person’s name when asking them for something, or simply saying thank you. It makes you stand out from all of the other requests, and usually gets people to do what you want even faster.
Find something to connect about.
Compliment the person that is serving you, or acknowledge a detail about them. Comment on how busy they seem, or how it is getting late in the night and they must be finishing up soon. Make it personal, and about the person serving you. The other 99% of your interaction will probably be centered around you (the customer), so taking that 1% to shift the focus in the beginning of an interaction.
Joke and be silly with the person serving you.
I told Deepak that he would be my hero if he could fix my internet connection. This surprisingly got past his stoic, cold tech support persona for about .345 seconds. He actually chuckled. But, it was too bad he couldn’t be my hero and ended up not fixing my problem. I was kind enough not to remind him of this, and chose to just thank him instead.
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
~Plato
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I agree wholeheartedly with this. Sorry to be blunt…but there are too many assholes out there.
Maybe it’s just how I am as a person, but I’m always trying to please people. In fact, sometimes it’s a bad thing, which I’m learning to overcome. On the other hand, in the back of mind is always ‘treat this person like I’d want to be treated.’
Your post above specifically points to the service industry. The problem is many people think they are better than their servers. It’s just bs. People need to get over themselves. Start treating everyone as an equal. We’re all connected as human beings. Stop thinking you’re better than someone else. When you do that, your ego is getting in the way.
Good advice above, especially in today’s fast pace environment. I think all of us could be a bit friendlier to others.
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These are all wonderful tips that everyone should follow. I think it all comes back to basic kindness and compassion. Treat everyone you meet with love, compassion, and understanding, and you’ll make their day. Remember that the people you encounter are *people*, and treat them accordingly. Such is the way friendships are made, and such us the way the world is made a better place for all of us.
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Wish I had your patience! Guess I’ll keep practicing.
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Hey Karen,
I enjoyed this post, it speaks such…REALITY.
It’s true, there are just too many people who act rude and selfish. But I feel that they are just too immersed within their social roles. Particularly in the public situations. If they are the customers, then they take in the role of being a customers, which usually means …” ME ME ME ME!! SATISFY ME!”
Many people are not conscious or even brave enough to break out of that role. (myself included sometimes)
However, it is great that you get more experience with dealing with difficult people in your jobs, as much as there are assholes, you get to learn to appreciate the nice people.
Anyways, I should learn from you to treat difficult and frustrating situations as an opportunity to test myself and practice what I learned from my personal growth.
Thank you Karen for this
Steven
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Hey Karen
First off, love the photo!
Really enjoyed this post. It takes some effort but being respectful to others is such an important thing and to be conscious of what it is like to be on the end of your behaviour.
I do think it works both ways though. I had some pretty bad service recently when changing my number over for my new blackberry (that I’ve had for years and is my coaching number too.) Long story but the guy on the end of the phone really didn’t seem to care less and made the situation alot worst than it needed to be. In that instance I put a formal complaint in, which was a breakthrough for me, as I sometimes don’t like to rock the boat.
It just made me think though, that it is important in customer service to put yourself in the customers shoes too. On the other side, when you do need to complain or pull someone up on the fact that you are not gettig the service you have paid for, this this can still be done with respect and courtesy.
Thanks Karen
Jen
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Excellent Post, Karen
I say it must be mandatory for High school graduation that the students work at least one semester as a waiter/waitress (or should I use the PC term and call them servers?).
I know what you mean by being tested. Having worked in the restaurant industry for 25 years or so, I am a stickler for customer service. One of the things I have started doing is complementing good service (verbally, in addition to $) but taking time to calling the restaurant manager over to my table to let him/her know about the good service when I get it. I also do that for exceptional service over the phone. I ask for their supervisors name and number, and let them know that I would be calling them to compliment their good service.
Yes, I agree, being that one good customer is worth all the abuse I have taken over the years. I love it when I make someone’s day by being the nice guy. The one who left a $10 tip on a $5.41 bill, because it was worth it.
Rasheed
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Hey Karen,
Thanks for the new post!
Boy, isn’t this a topic everyone can relate to–maybe they’re on the recieveing end or delievering the impatient toe tapping.
Its hard to keep in mind sometimes that we we have interactions like the one you described that we’re just dealing with the most superficial bit of what’s going on with the person on the other end.
I love the quote: Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. What a great way to sum up your post!
Take Care,
Jill
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This is GREAT advice! Love it!
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There are an overwhelming number of jerks out there, and it’s great to see you are fighting against that. I enjoy how you wrote about enjoying the challenge of not getting frustrated and being a complainer. I’m the exact same way. Driving is my big test, I have rude drivers, but no matter how annoying they might be I do my best to not react to them negatively. It works, most of the time
Nice post!
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Nice post as always Karen. Patience is something we all struggle with at times. I’ve found that taking a few seconds to stop strangers and give random (But true!) compliments lifts my own spirits making it easier for ME to remain patient. Seriously, next time you’re in a store or restaurant, look around for a reason to compliment someone as soon as possible. It can be on their hairstyle, clothing choices or anything else as long as it’s truthful. Even if the service is slow or the checkout line is endless, you’ll find yourself more likely to just take it in stride instead of stressing over it. Try it for yourself.
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Hi Karen — I can definitely relate to this — I like to step outside my narrow social role as a customer in the coffee shop and play around with the servers a bit. Some of them are more comfortable with this than others — I think there are servers who prefer their constricting social role as a server. But you can’t please everybody.
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Karen,
just stumbled on this…seriously! my purpose in life is to help people with their technology…give me a shout next time for some clarity on any issues that come up…i offer it to all your readers too…i don’t know if i can always fix the problem, but i can tell you whats going on!! @robgranholm
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Hey Karen, wonderful post and you speak of such truth in this post. Patience and understanding can be such a tricky thing for sure. Thanks for the great read today!
Dayne
TheHappySelf.com
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Hi there, I enjoyed your post quite a lot. I too have been on the service end for many years, and I know exactly what it’s like to give my best service yet still have annoyed people. That’s always going to be the case, because in a customer service job, it’s not just you who deals with everything – it’s many other people as well. Some times things happen that are beyond your control. And sometimes you make mistakes yourself, I mean, we’re all only humans. Some people don’t seem to understand this however. But that one person out of ten definitely does make life bearable. I worked in a hotel for a few years, and some days were so horrible, I thought I was going to quit right then and there. Then, someone would come with a smile on their face and tell me that I did a great job dealing with all the people, or something nice and that always helped me realize why I stayed at the hotel for so long. It’s so nice when someone appreciates your effort.
I also try my hardest to be that one great customer, and so far I think I’ve done rather well. When I have to wait in lines, I always remember the lineups at the hotel and how awful I felt for the customers who had to wait. I would have liked to serve all of them at once, but it was just me. No one else. And one person can only do so much at a time. I also try to reward great customer service, because I think it’s really important. If someone goes out of their way to make sure that you receive a great product, whatever it may be, then they are worth 5 minutes of my time, to let someone higher up know that they are doing a great job. My only hope is that the person higher up will care, and if the great work is consistent, they will reward the worker. Unfortunately this doesn’t happen all the time.
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Patience is easy said than done, especially if you faced with annoying people. I admire your effort in practicing your patience, it’s never, never easy to master what your did.
I have been developing my patience as well but I always slip up. Still, I never give up trying. Thanks for the inspiration.
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