The Four Phases of a Writer’s Life
I don’t consider myself to be much of a writer, since I barely have time to scratch out even a lousy blog post once in a while. But that doesn’t stop me from daydreaming about it during my commute home from work, when I imagine myself as a celebrated author and much sought-after thought-leader. I picture the many calls and emails I would get from agents and publishers, all clawing to get a piece of me because my work is in such great demand.
“These people are so annoying!” I would complain to my wife. “Why can’t they just leave me alone to work on my craft in peace?”
My brash agent, Marty, would try to manage it all, calling me frequently with updates. “Screw Thomas Nelson!” he would bark over the cell phone, dismissing their offer for a six-figure advance. “We’ve got Crown salivating for a 3-book deal and Hyperion is chasing us like a stray dog in heat!” I attempt to calm Marty down, admonishing him for his colorful use of foul language. But I’ll admit, he sure knows how to get it done!
Then I would run through a roster of friends and acquaintances, as well as people who I don’t even know, imagining their reactions upon hearing about my runaway publishing success. “I knew Brad was multi-talented, ”they would say in utter amazement, “but, golly – now you’re telling me he’s on top of the New York Times bestseller list?”
Although I am not very experienced, there are a few things I have pick up on. One observation is that writers go through four distinct phases. These are then repeated in a never-ending cycle. Surely, the harmony of this spirit-filled journey must represent the beautiful integration in the soul of a writer’s life.
Phase 1: Self-Aggrandizement. Read more…
Don’t Expect God to Do Your Grunt Work
I was privy to a conversation involving a mentor and his coaching subject, a mid-level manager. They had been discussing the manager’s future – moving up the ladder, making the next career move, and the like.
When asked about his plan of attack for pursuing the opportunities before him, the manager, an earnest and devout Christian, boldly replied, “I am leaving it up to the Lord. If I am meant to be promoted, then I’m sure God will step in and make a way.”
The mentor, who happened to be a former pastor-turned leadership coach, responded with a vehement expression of disagreement – a word which I will refrain from saying here, but which refers to bovine excrement.
“You are completely deluded if you think you can just sit here passively and expect God to do all the grunt work for you,” he said.
God has this funny way of using us as co-conspirators in His plans.
If you have been gifted with leadership skills, blessed with a dream or desire to do or become more than what you are right now, then you’ve got to do your part. And that usually involves some heavy lifting.
Anything that’s grand, or beautiful, or world-changing is going to require action and intentionality, some sweat and perserverance, some getting knocked down and bloody lips. God doesn’t deserve to be short-shrifted by our passive theology.
It only works if we participate.
And sometimes a good swift kick in the ass from a pastor friend was just what the good Lord had in mind.
Photo thanks to Nance.
At Work As It Is In Heaven
A friend leaned over the table at Starbucks yesterday morning, and confided, “You really don’t want to know what goes on in this space above my shoulders…”
He is the Chief Executive of his organization, and we were talking about the psychotic warped thinking that can unravel in the mind of an otherwise confident leader under duress of stress and confrontation.
He was joking of course, but not really.
The two of us who had joined him for some pre-commuter banter and strong coffee both rolled our eyes in instant recognition.
I don’t care how it looks from the outside, even the most high-powered rollers are plagued from time to time with insecurity, doubts and the dreaded Imposter Syndrome, which says, “OMG! What were they thinking when they put me in this position of authority!? What have I gotten myself into?! I’m going to fail! Fail, I tell you! Fail!”
As for me, I am also subject to the tyranny of an inflated ego and the insecurity of being defined by what I produce. However, as a (somewhat) spiritually intentional leader, I am gradually learning to manage the beast by constantly reminding myself about the greater purpose of my work. Which is to say, it’s not about me.
It’s about everyone else. Giving, encouraging, building up, creating, helping.
This enlightenment is not a one-time revelation that appears with a bolt of lightning, or from reading the latest work-faith book that somehow has almost the exact same unimaginative title as every other work-faith book that has ever been written. I must keep reminding myself over and over and over again. Read more…
Moving From Either/Or to Both/And
I was festering over a work situation which I instinctively had interpreted as a zero sum game. By that I mean, there were two players and only two potential outcomes: a winner and a loser.
This win-lose attitude was naturally accompanied by a generous barrage of negative thoughts, driven by a desperate need for survival and self-preservation. I had to grab my piece of the pie, because, as everyone knows, there is only so much to go around.
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how life is played out in the hyper-competitive workspace. Whether its building market share, or seeking approval from a boss, or deciding how to spend the afternoon, we tend to see things in terms of limited choices and mutually exclusive options.
This two-dimensional thinking bleeds over into our personal lives, as well, and even into our politics and theology. We like to organize everything into nice, neat categories: democrats or republicans; tree-hugger or capitalist; jock or nerd; predestination or free will.
Scientists tell us that putting things into hard categories makes life easier, because it gives us a frame of reference for interpreting the world. It’s like telling ourselves the same old stories until it’s all we see. But I wonder if all this dichotomous thinking is also a sign of immaturity, or stagnation, or spiritual laziness.
Maybe the hard-wired thinking is not so much to blame as is our culturally entrenched Western thought, with its linear thinking and process orientation and sharp corners and lines around everything. We are all educated from early childhood to be analysts.
Has everything I have ever been taught snoookered me into an either/or view on life, when there was an opportunity for both/and?
To continue reading the rest of this post, click here to join me over at The High Calling.
How to Sound More Confident
I have been coaching one of our managers lately on how to appear more confident in front of groups.
I am uniquely qualified to coach him because I am oh-so-familiar with self-confidence issues, as they played out many times in my early career. I would freeze up, quake in my boots, get dry mouth, gastric problems – you name it. But somehow by the grace of God I was able to overcome it.
“But how, Brad?” you ask, with quivering lips. “How? How? How?”
My greatest lesson in confidence came from a boss named Jill.
Jill was a commanding presence – over six feet tall, with jet black hair and an extremely outgoing personality. You could practically hear theme music playing as she breezed down the hallways, everyone’s eyes drawn to her fluid figure. But her most magnetic feature was the way she spoke. With great facility, Jill could master any business conversation utilizing a curated portfolio of the latest management buzzwords and slang. It made her sound smart and justified, and just condescending enough to make you admire her. Read more…
The Secret Art of Reinventing Yourself
Eighth grade is typically a harsh year, and mine was no exception. I was not the most athletically coordinated boy, which placed me firmly at the lowest ranking of the middle school echelon. Add to that my greasy hair, braces, and oversized, thick-lens eyeglasses, and you start to get a very sorry picture.
Thankfully, my nomadic family decided to temporarily move due to my father’s work situation. We rented out our house for one year and packed up to Michigan for ninth grade, where I was magically transformed: I sprouted up several inches, got my braces removed, joined the swim team, found better glasses, and most importantly, began to wash my hair.
When we returned back to my old school system for tenth grade, no one recognized me. I was able to start fresh as a confident new kid from out of town without the dork baggage.
At the time, I attributed the transformation mostly to good hygiene and a great shampoo, but what I really experienced was the secret art of reinventing myself. I was determined to erase the gawky kid and re-emerge as someone else entirely.
A similar reinvention phenomenon has also taken place several times during my adult career. Usually it was triggered by a narrow-minded superior who did not see the same future potential that I saw for myself. I’ll never forget one boss in particular, during a heartfelt discussion as I poured out my hopes and dreams of advancement: “You will never be promoted to Manager,” she snapped abruptly while sipping her coffee and glancing out the window. “You don’t have the right experience.” I left her office burning with indignation.
Instead of buying into her boss-imposed limitations, I fantasized of the day she would be reporting to me. “Sorry, Barbara,” I would say while attending to various papers on my desk. “I’m going to have to demote you again. Now get me another cup of coffee.”
To continue reading, click here to join me over at The High Calling.
Five Things to Stop Doing in 2012
Strategy consultant Dorie Clark wrote an intriguing post a couple weeks ago at Harvard Business Review blogs presenting somewhat of an anti-outlook for 2012.
Instead of promoting typical professional stretch goal-setting tips, she made suggestions for things to stop doing, in order to become more focused and productive in the New Year.
Her red lighted list of things to stop doing included such helpful recommendations as “Responding Like a Trained Monkey to emails” (#1), and “Reading Annoying Things” (#3) (like, this blog, for instance!).
Although making a Not-To-Do list can certainly help with productivity, I found these particular examples to be shallow, impersonal and, way too easy. For goodness sake, any dope can cancel a magazine subscription to reduce wasteful reading. The bigger challenge for us in 2012 is to make space in our souls for personal and spiritual growth, and that usually takes much harder work.
So, here is my own list of five things that I will stop doing in 2012:
1. Obsessing about my productivity every second of the day. Read more…
Snow Angels
I am dredging up a seasonal tidbit from the archives - one of my favorites – just in time for the holidays. And I am breaking all the blogging rules on this one, refusing to edit it down. So pull up a chair and a hot cup of cocoa. (Plus, I know you’re on vacation anyway, so relax!) Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of you!
A few weeks ago our family spent the weekend watching some old videos from when the kids were little. Back then I had filmed a series of “a day in the life” routines, so that I could capture my little girls on tape and always remember the way it was. I had recorded moments of them singing, playing, laughing, running, and riding bikes. I even caught on tape a bit of naughtiness – some fighting and crying – which is actually cute and funny when you play it back years later.
Those little girls were so precious. They seemed so happy. So did my wife and I. There’s something about reminiscing that makes you gloss over, and even forget, all the stress and messiness and emotional chaos that was also going on at the same time.
There’s one scene in particular that will stick with us forever. It is filmed in the dead of winter, and there’s been a heavy snowfall. In fact, it’s a snow-day for the entire family – no school, no work! So, like all the snow-bound families waking up to the delights of an unexpected day off, we celebrate by bundling up our little girls, who were probably about 3 and 6 years old at the time. We take them out to play in the winter wonderland. Read more…
Leaders: Time to Affirm Work Well Done
Last week I attended an end-of-year corporate Holiday dinner with the management team of a smallish company of which I sit on the Board. As the cocktail hour was winding down and the merry executives and spouses were finally herded to their tables for dinner, the President stood up at the front of the room, cleared his throat and garnered the group’s attention for a few words of welcome.
“As you know, it’s been quite…an interesting year,” he began.
When he said the word, “interesting,” he cocked his head slightly and curled his lips into a “you-know-all-too-well-what-I’m-talking-about” smile. He went on to talk generally of the unexpected obstacles that the company faced – the nightmare issues that were never contemplated when the strategic plan and budget had been set forth way back in the fog of late 2010 – and the cleverness and resilience of the management team who deftly navigated those uncharted waters to successfully reach the other side. For now, at least.
“We fared well, all things considered,” he continued. Then he paused, took a long look around the room, and said, “You should be proud of yourselves for the results we are seeing this year. I hope you will all take a well-deserved time of rest this holiday season.”
This made my heart well up with joy and relief. Read more…
Take One Day Off Just For Yourself
I don’t know if it’s because I am getting older, but the days just seem to slip away before my eyes.
I am trying to practice all the things that the experts say to slow it down, like being present in the now, getting up an hour earlier, taking a few minutes every day for quiet meditation, and fully appreciating everything around me.
But still, the days rush away as I am caught up in the swirl of work, home responsibilities, events, obligations, and more or less taking care of everything that needs to get done. And to be honest, when I do find a few minutes at the end of the day, I’m tired.
It’s the tyranny of what’s next.
Maybe I’ve gotten too distractible, or hyper-responsible. Time is so precious, yet I am constantly chasing it like some elusive rare bird that I am trying to catch and put in a cage for safe keeping. There are things that I long for, but hardly ever find the time and mental space to do. Like writing more, reflecting, thinking big thoughts, and reading Harvard Business Review. I’ve got the past six issues piled up in my office, among a stack of other books, and it’s starting to scare me. And sometimes I complain to myself, “Wouldn’t it be great if I could just have an open-ended chunk of time to sit at Starbucks and just read, or think, or write poetry, like all those other slugs and unemployed people I see there all the time?” Read more…