Take my will and make it Thine,
It shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own,
It shall be Thy royal throne.
~From the hymn Take My Life and Let It Be

I'm not certain if I have a strong-willed child or not. I have a couple that are much more sensitive to my lack of consistency when I fail to train them as I should, but I am not sure if I have an actual, official, strong-willed child.

I have children that test the limits, at different moments, or sometimes all at the same moment. I have one child that knocked me right off my parenting high horse between 2-4 years old. I know God used it to humble me in my pride and give me a greater empathy for others. I engaged in hand-to-hand combat on the smallest battlefield ever known--her heart.

Will of Iron
Every single instruction that the parent gives to the child, is challenged.

"Shut the door, please"
"No."

"Pick up your toys, please"
"No."

"Complete this handwriting page."
"No."

Authority or Advisor?
Are we in authority because we are physically bigger and stronger? Smarter and more experienced? Do we have the right to tell our children to do anything we want them to do?

If we don't know these answers we will be insecure and wishy-washy about our duty to God and to our precious children. Our children will never know what to expect because the ground rules are on shifting sand, based on the whims or current guilt level of mama.

So many times we require obedience because we feel under pressure, but we must train our children in the knowledge that God calls them to obey us always (Eph. 6:1). We are acting on behalf of Him. We are not acting to shape the lives of our children for what pleases us, but what pleases Him.

Discipline and Love
Discipline and love cannot be separated because discipline is an expression of love.

Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him Proverbs 13:24

for the LORD reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.
Proverbs 3:12

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:11

If we are giving consequences to our children's actions because they have irritated us, embarrassed us or made us angry, that is not loving discipline. Biblical discipline is carried out to produce growth in godliness, not pain or shame or a vent to a parent's frustrations.

While Homeschooling
Having a strong will is a virtue. Sure, it can be discouraging to encounter the same failings, time after time, day after day because that will of iron that the Lord gave the child is being used in a sinful way. But strong wills, redeemed by Christ, deny the flesh.

Strong wills carry the gospel around the globe regardless of the suffering encountered.
Strong wills dare to not be conformed to this world.
Strong wills may at nine years old refuse to complete that math assignment, but tomorrow be "willfull" (thus equipped) to stand strong on the Word of God even if it means persecution for holding to the Truth.

Let's pray for our children! For a quiet end to their rebellion, a joyful submission to our authority and that God would use the child's will of iron to carry out His plan for their lives.

Press on in your loving, biblical discipline. It is effective, although it usually doesn't happen overnight.

And be thankful this strong-willed child is at home with you. There is nowhere else he could spend his days, that anyone would have the time or energy to focus on his heart and the sin there. You only will see his strong will as raw material to be used by the Lord for His purposes.

Refuse to give up, knowing the Lord has given you all you need to parent this challenging child. Lean on Him.

Some great resources:
My favorite child training book, Shepherding a Child's Heart
For Instructions in Righteousness
Free ebook at Simply Charlotte Mason: The Way of the Will



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