I spend time and teach/pastor middle and high school students on a weekly basis. They have many conversations, but it always comes back to one thing. Can you guess? Relationships. And what kind of relationships? Yep, you got it again…dating. They like to call it “love”. Now I could probably go on and on about this subject and maybe it will have to be broken up into different posts, but let’s be honest, for 99% of them it is the farthest thing from love. They like to get me fired up just so I’ll say “this ain’t camp hook up” and most of the time I’ll tell them to “fall in love with Jesus first”, but I’m pretty sure it falls on deaf ears. I’m honestly not trying to be funny. I want them to value and see themselves as a beautiful creation that God made and intended for them to give fully to Him first and then bless their spouse with in the future.

Let’s take a quick look at what love is. What does the Bible say love is? Without posting 100 verses, we’ll look at some very familiar verses that spell it out.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8  Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.

OK, can any of us honestly say we live up to all of the demands of love? Of course not! Only God can fully show love perfectly and He did this most beautifully on the cross. But let’s get even more honest and I’m going to tick many off. Edward and Bella aren’t the perfection of love either. (You know the vampire and the girl he can’t live without.) If you honestly have no idea who I’m talking about skip this altogether and ask yourself, “have I now officially lost any coolness I had left?”.

For many people, teenagers and adults, it’s lust or just a way to fill the void of being lonely. Why? Everyone else is striving for the same thing. They think, “I just have to have a boyfriend or girlfriend to feel like I’m worth something”. This couldn’t be further from the truth. All any of us need to do is look at what God says about us. About me. About you!

And we will look at what God says, but this is the truth. You and I are ugly. I know you might have been told you’re beautiful and stunning, but you’re ugly. Now hold on. Let me finish. I’m speaking of the inside here, not your outward appearance. Why are you ugly on the inside? One word answer…SIN. But check out what God says in this verse.

Romans 5:8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

So you WERE ugly, but Christ took your ugliness/scars/sin on the cross and defeated it. But what else?

Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Here it is again. If you know Jesus Christ and follow Him, your self died on the cross with Him and He has made you new, something beautiful. But also remember he rose again. He defeated death and sin. That is beautiful. That is LOVE.

Ephesians 2:4-5 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved.

God has so much mercy and forgiveness for us and because he loves us so much, he has made us alive in Christ. His great love that covers us transforms who we are. The inside becomes beautiful.

So what does talking about SIN have to do with LOVE? Forgiveness and LOVE?

That is the most beautiful picture of what love is! God literally sent His own son named Jesus to take every sin and violation that you would ever commit and destroy them once and for all on the cross. He took the ultimate punishment so you would know what love really is. Is the most beautiful portrayal of love and the ultimate example.

OK, so maybe my youth are right. I’m just going to say it…

Fall in love with Jesus first and foremost before ever pursuing a dating relationship. And while you’re pursuing a dating relationship, measure them by the greatest love of all. If they don’t know Jesus, dating them will not necessarily make them love Jesus too, so DO NOT date someone who does not have the same beliefs as you. That’s in the Bible too! You have to guard yourself. Stay pure and hold to that. Do not give in to the heated moments you will face. If it’s love it can wait. Follow all of God’s commands on love, dating, relationships, sex, etc. Oh, and yes, you’ll still have awesome dates, just without the feelings of guilt. How incredible would all of our relationships be if we did exactly as God instructs us to? We could live and love life to the fullest.

So what is love? Love is God giving us his own son to be punished for our wrongdoing so that all of us could spend eternity (now that’s a long time!) with Him. (John 3:16 paraphrased)

Make the choice to honor God in all you do and love the greatest lover of all first. Then measure all you do by Him. Remember love goes both ways. Give all of yourself to God.

Oh, and one more thing. “This ain’t camp hook-up!”

What do you see when you look in the mirror? Ok. Stop and go look before reading. Really look at yourself.

(humming Jeopardy tune)

Ok. Good. You’re back and ready to continue. So, what did you see? Are you being truthful to yourself? I can speak personally that I see a guy who is about to have another birthday, who feels much younger inside than his outward appearance shows, needs to lose some weight, could use a haircut, one eye seems slightly closed more than the other, looks tired and worn down from chasing a toddler around and investing in the lives of students…you get the drift. What do you see?

Let me ask another question. What do you want to see? I used to want to see a pretty good looking guy with 0-2% body fat who wore the latest fashion and everyone wanted to know. Not anymore! As a side note my flesh still wants that, but I really want to see with my spiritual eyes.

2 Corinthians 3:18 says, So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord–who is the Spirit–makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.

Would that not be the coolest thing in the world? To have the veil removed that blocks our vision and spiritually see and reflect the glory of the Lord? How would we live then? I guarantee that we would live with the utmost confident in Christ and I pray that we would remember it’s Him we see, not ourselves.

To do that I believe there are a few things we must adjust in our thinking.

1. Does Jesus know you?

“I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me-just as the Father knows me and I know the Father-and I lay down my life for the sheep.” (John 10:14-15)

If you do not know Jesus, this would be your first step. How can any of us reflect Christ if we have no relationship with Him? You’re right! We can’t. So our first step is to realize we are a sinner, we need help, that you believe Jesus literally died on a cross for your sins and rose again 3 days later to conquer the sting of death, and make the decision to follow Him from this moment forward. (see John 3:16 also)

2. We need to stop believing we are worthless.

Galatians 2:20 says, My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

We are here for a specific purpose. Yes, there is a reason YOU are living right this very second at this very year. God wants to use your for something amazing and it’s only when you are willing that you can move into your true calling. Notice I didn’t say when you are ready. Willing. Willing to climb mountains, jump rivers, swim oceans, walk through fire, jump on crushed glass…make sense? In other words when you are willing to do whatever He tells you to do. It’s not you who live, but Christ who lives in you. So you are NOT worthless since He now lives in you!

3. We need to be ready to do anything, even die.

This life is short compared to eternity and there is only one decision you’ll ever make that effects your eternity. Would you die to tell others about Jesus? In other words, would you be willing to literally sacrifice everything you have for someone else to come to a relationship with Him?

On the flip side, if you don’t know Jesus, would you die to your old self to start a new life with Christ?

For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better. (Philippians 1:21)

The simple solution is that we do anything God ask of us and let Him determine the outcome.

4. Mistaken for Jesus

Can you see God reflecting in your life? Is the fruit of the Spirit evident in your life as Galatians 5 talks of?

I can say that I’m failing miserably at reflecting Christ, but I want to desperately be mistaken for Jesus. Yes, mistaken for Jesus. I want Him to radiate through everything I do, everything I touch, and everyone I meet.

Now go look in the mirror again and pray to God to make Him evident in your life. Pray that people see Him in your life and His Spirit reflecting back when others see you. Let’s be mistaken for Jesus and not just when we are alone and looking in the mirror.

I wanted to include this song by Warren Barfield that came to mind after writing this last part. The song is called “Mistaken” and the words are incredible. Please take a few minutes to watch and listen before going on to something else. Oh, and thanks for taking the time to read this blog post. Please use the share buttons to tell the world and help make an impact in someone’s life.

Another year has gone by. Where in the world did time go? I’m still trying to sort that one out. So, how was your year? Seriously. How was it?

2011 was a great year for my family and my music as well. As I sit on my couch and type this with just over an one hour until we hit 2012, I’m so incredibly thankful. Don’t get me wrong, there were horrible times in 2011, but I’m choosing to look at the blessings tonight. God has blessed our little family of three with health, careers, amazing opportunities, and the chance to watch our little girl learn and grow. I lead an amazing group of students as their youth pastor and a great church as their worship pastor. As far as music goes, I was blessed with opportunities to have songs on major television, commercials, and ad campaigns. It was the first year I’ve seen actual royalties from music!

However…

HOWEVER!

There is one question that is at the forefront of my mind. What does any of it matter if I haven’t become closer to Jesus Christ? So ask yourself that as you read this. Ponder that question. I think you’ll find it to be hauntingly true.

In the past week I’ve realized how much more I could do for the cause of Christ. I also realize how much more of a spiritual leader I need to be at home for my wife and daughter. Deep inside me is a passion waiting to get out. If you feel like me, I challenge you to un-cage that passion and run full speed in 2012 for God.

I have no idea what economic disasters will continue to happen or if they will get better. I have a strong sense of urgency that it will worsen along with many other things. If you look around, sin is running rampant across the world. Don’t fear! Remember these five words, as simple as they may seem, they hold power greater than anything past, present, and future.

God is still in control!

So no matter what haunts you, let it go. Drop it at the foot of the cross. Give everything to God. Everything. He wants you the way you are. (1 Peter 5:7) He’s not looking for perfection; He’s looking for a willing heart. Believe and ask God to take care of everything. Start the New Year fresh and renewed. Remember those five words.

God is still in control!

Nothing surprises Him. He knows everything that’s going to happen. So rest in His arms and grace in the New Year. Be renewed. Start fresh. Worry about nothing.

God is still in control!

This is a hard topic to talk about, but it’s one that the majority of us struggle with. Have you been hurt recently? Have you been the one causing the hurt? Either way, let’s look at what God says about forgiveness toward others.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32 NIV)

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matthew 6:14, 15 NIV)

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Colossians 3:13 NIV)

And that’s just three verses! Whether you are hurting or caused the hurt the simple truth to question is this; if God himself has forgiven you with all of the junk, baggage, disgusting habits (online or offline), anger, horrible attitude, treating others like they are worthless, or just being an outright grinch, how in the world can any of us have the audacity to not forgive someone for what they’ve done to us?

And this is the part that gets the bitter feelings inside to bubble up. It doesn’t matter what they’ve done to you and for how long. You have to forgive them. There is no place for bitterness in your life. It is poison that deteriorates every part of your mind. It wears on your spirit. God does not want any bitterness to poison your life.

Think about it. Pray about it. If you need to forgive someone, do it now! Don’t wait. (unless it’s 3am and you know they’re asleep) Call them, meet with them in person, but do whatever it takes to make things right. A simple start is, “Hey, I just wanted you to know that I’ve been really bitter toward you. I’m sorry. I was hurt when you did ____ to me and I want you to know that I forgive you for it.”

If you are the person causing the problems, STOP! You are poisoning someone’s life. You have no hold on anyone and no right to treat God’s creation that way. Make things right with the one’s that you have hurt, turn from your sin, and stop being a reason for bitterness.

Cling to the three verses above, but take the time to look up other scripture , talk with God, and move past the hurt. There’s so much more to say, but for now it’s time to forgive.

How many of us wake up and just feel unloved? I’m sure the actual number would be pretty astounding. Even for those of us who are married or are in a relationship, there are many times we just feel unloved. Have you ever asked yourself this question, “How could anyone possibly love someone like me? I’ve done so many things to hurt those I love and care about. There is no way that they could truly love a person like me!”

Ok, I know there are many circumstances that would cause a person to feel this way.

1 John 3:1 says it beautifully. ” See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.” (NIV)

God spends His love on us extravagantly. He doesn’t hold back. His love doesn’t depend on how reliable you’ve been in your relationship. He can’t love you less or more. He has loved you with everything from the start!

John 3:16 is probably one of the most popular Bible verses and it should be. Really take a minute to read these words. Don’t rehearse it from memorization, but dissect and meditate on this verse.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. ” (NIV)

He literally loved us, me, YOU, so much that he turned his own kid over to be slaughtered for our mistakes. THAT is the kind of love we are in when we have Christ as our Lord and Savior.

Romans 8:28-30 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.” (NIV)

Everything that you have ever gone through or will ever go through, is for  a specific purpose and reason. Just know that you are being carried through those rough patches because it’s meant for good.

So when you feel unloved, short-changed, and that your love tank is empty; I urge you to stick to these verses (and there are many more) to continually remind you that YOU ARE LOVED by the greatest lover in the history of the universe. God.

No regrets! How many of us live by that motto? I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve always repeated those words, until recently. No matter how many mistakes and no matter how strong you’ve been able to handle your past, let’s face it, we all have regrets. Who is willing to actually admit this? Will the real person living with real regret please stand up?

For some, regret means being less than an hour from the Grand Canyon and not hopping off the highway to see it. For others, it’s not asking out that boy or girl when you had the chance, whether you would have been rejected or not. But for many of us, regrets are sins or scars that haunt us. They may not on a daily basis (although for many they do), but when the lights go out and the curtain is pulled at the end of the day, they come rushing in and stealing our joy.

So how do we face these regrets? How can we sever all ties to the lingering effects of our mistakes? As always we should see what God has to say. While there are many scriptures that we can quote, let’s look at the powerful verse in 1 John. It doesn’t beat around the bush; it gets right to the point.

1 John 1:9 says, If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (NIV)

We are human and as much as we like to hide it, we regret. We regret a lot. If it’s a mistake, a sin, or just a missed opportunity, go to God and ask Him to take it from you. It’s time to let go and turn it all over to Jesus.

It’s then and only then we can truly live with no regrets.