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Wednesday, February 8, 2012

The Heartbreak of Miscarriage

About a month ago, Kristy Howard asked me to write an article on Miscarriage for her blog Little Natural Cottage.   You can go to her blog to read the full article.

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Medical literature will tell you that a miscarriage is defined as the spontaneous loss of a pregnancy before 24 weeks gestation.

Miscarriage survivors will tell you it is having something so profoundly sweet and precious taken from you that it leaves you empty, cold and lonely.

Each woman who has suffered through a miscarriage will have her own unique view of it and how it affected her life, but for this post, these are my perceptions of losing a baby in the early weeks of pregnancy.  All of us react differently to circumstances forced upon us, but I'll give you my story and my reactions to it.

My first miscarriage happened only 10 months after we were married.  But I was simply devastated.

How can a woman truly describe the pain of losing a child you never held in your arms?  Some people think a woman shouldn't have to grieve the loss of a baby in early pregnancy. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Click here to read the full article at Little Natural Cottage.



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4 comments:

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    HIS daughterFeb 8, 2012 10:29 AM
    Wow. Thank you so much for sharing this...I really really appreciate it. I lost my first little one very early on and the pain was hard to explain to people who don't understand it. But what joy there is in knowing that I have a sweet little one in heaven waiting for me someday.
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      Kendra GraberFeb 8, 2012 12:11 PM
      So sorry you had to experience this too. Many times I've wondered why I must go through this; but I also realize it makes me much more empathetic to another person's pain.
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    AnonymousFeb 8, 2012 11:13 PM
    I feel rather vulnerable to reply. This post brought a lot of thoughts to me today and tears. I never lost a child through miscarriage but have learned that that is very painful and how true that unless you have exterienced something you really do not know. I was so insensitve about people that had lost a loved one- had no idea the pain and turmoil it causes or that you don't just get over it, the time it takes to heal - do you ever totally? I'm not sure. When dad passed away I learned some but that was totally different than losing our son. There are so many whys aperson can ask - why does a person that wants her baby lose it or several and someone that doesn't want it keep it @and possibly abort it, why does a child that is so loved die and others that aren't loved live, why does one person die from sickness and the next one gets well? It doesn't make sense but it is that way - hard as it is. I agree too that the pat or nice answers can be very empty or hurtful tho' people mean to be helpful and do not understand. One person told me how someone said that she thought maybe God took Charles cause he wouldn't have grown up to love Him but this lady did not agree. I tend to agree with her - I don't know if God ever does that or not but why does he allow all these children to live who do grow up and don't follow Him. I have heard miscarriage is natures way of taking care of something wrong which could be very easily but then there are babies that go full term with things wrong - some live and some don't, sometimes it can be something in our bodies that is wrong , maybe there is no explainable reason - but God allowed it. God is God and we will go through hard things but He will go with us though the way mnay be very dark. The special things He sends along the way are so precious- it might be waking up with a song in your mind, it might be the moon shining through that just seems special for you, it can be differnt things but those "hugs" from God are a treaure and help us along. My heart goes out to you Kendra and the hurt you are felling. May you feel God near right now. Kathy
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      Kendra GraberFeb 9, 2012 05:56 AM
      Bless you, Kathy. My pain doesn't compare to you losing Charles. But I'm glad we both know the One who will carry us through. I honestly don't think we'll know the why's until we go Home. But at least we'll get to see them someday. Thinking of you today, Kathy! Love you much.
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