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Dealing with Emotions – Dos and Don’ts (Part 2)

spacer In the previous post I listed some Don’ts when dealing with emotions. Here I will list a few Dos that help me to navigate the tricky waters of strong negative emotions.

DO talk to a close friend

When we are emotionally upset, we often don’t see clearly. We may blow words and actions out of proportion, refuse to see the good in a person or situation, and convince ourselves that our plight is worse than it actually is. We all have blind spots, and close friends are like mirrors that help us see ourselves and our situation more objectively. Venting also helps us to calm down and dissipate the raw strength of the emotions so that we can think more clearly again.

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Posted by Daphne on | January 25, 2012 | 2 Comments

Dealing with Emotions – Dos and Don’ts (Part 1)

spacer Most of us don’t like dealing with strong negative emotions. We often deal with such emotions very badly, if at all. Some of us tend to suppress them until they build up into resentments. I’ve blundered through enough emotionally trying times that I have a rough list of Dos and Don’ts that help me deal with strong emotions.

The difficulty I have with a list is that we often measure ourselves against such a list to see how well we are doing. That’s quite a depressing approach if we tick off few or none of the items on the list. Conversely if we tick off every item, we may have an inflated sense of achievement.

Still, I offer this in the spirit that if even one tip can help someone to deal with their emotions, then the list has been helpful. So I encourage you to just choose one item from the following list to try out for yourself. If that doesn’t work for you, come back and try another one. If it does work, come back and try another one anyway!

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Posted by Daphne on | January 18, 2012 | 4 Comments

Start Afresh

spacer The beginning of a new year is a good time to start afresh, in many ways. Most people are familiar with new year resolutions, and at the same time are resigned that ‘they don’t work’.

One of the problems I’ve found with new year resolutions is that we try to cram them into our lives on top of everything else that we already have on our plate. Common sense suggests that we can’t pour more water into an already full cup.

I’ve found that when I stop obsessing about resolutions and goals, and simply clear out some clutter in my life, new and good things automatically flow in without much effort on my part.

Creating space, therefore, should preceed setting new goals. Even without the goals, the space itself invites new beginnings in ways we could never imagine when we try to make resolutions.

How do we create space in our lives so that we can start afresh?

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Posted by Daphne on | January 10, 2012 | 4 Comments

Wine and the Taste of Happiness

spacer Wow it’s been four months since I last posted on Joyful Days. While I feel slightly guilty about neglecting my lovely readers, this absence is a good sign that I’ve been busy enjoying my life.

During this time, I learnt two fascinating facts about wine. Wine drinkers can use these facts to save themselves a lot of money when buying wine. Non-drinkers, just be patient because at the end, as usual, there is a moral about happiness and a lesson on life.

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Posted by Daphne on | May 11, 2011 | 14 Comments

Detach from Outcomes

spacer Our relationships with other people are the main sources of our happiness and also the biggest causes of our heartaches.

The heartaches happen when we expect certain outcomes from our relationships: that our children do as we say, that our partners show love the way we want them to, that our friends agree to our requests, that the person we love reciprocates our feelings.

While letting go of expectations goes a long way to living a joyful life, this is hard for many people to do. Detaching from outcomes may perhaps be easier. How do we do this?

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Posted by Daphne on | January 19, 2011 | 10 Comments

Gratitude for 2010

spacer Dearest readers,

I haven’t posted lately because I’ve been busy living a joyful life. As the year draws to a close, I just want to thank you for reading my blog, and leave you with some thoughts of gratitude for the year.

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Posted by Daphne on | December 27, 2010 | 5 Comments
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