So to start off, last night was my breaking point. I found out that my husband has been going on dating sites Again! He did this once before about a year ago for almost the first 7 months of our relationship. I found this out a few days after he left for his 7 month deployment. I was devastated, he had been on dating sites and texting other girls while he was living with me. I found a few suspicious things before on his phone, such as pictures and flirty texts with other girls and I never said a word.

Then I found out from a couple of different women (some that he met on the sites and a few of his ex's) that he has been lying about our relationship to them and has been sexting and sending pictures back and forth. Now let me just say that he was living with me rent free, I bought all the food, toiletries and I cooked and did all the laundry. He never once offered to help out financially and when I did ask him to help he made me feel bad for asking. More Here...

• 8:30 PM
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My fiancé and I have ended our relationship. We had a baby girl together (yes out of wedlock). Sad, but true. What's even more sad is that it is my second child out of wedlock. I was very ashamed of it and I've had all sorts of guilt and self-judgment put on me. I've finally gotten over it and vowed to God not to involve myself sexually with any other man. I had taken this vow even before my ex and I ended our relationship.

Anyways, our relationship started like a race. The speed it took still amazes me to this day. But it is both our faults. His fault for having believed that God could allow that sort of relationship, and my fault for believing him and having not even consulted with God about it.

A relationship that begins with the wrong foundation is set to fail unless that the foundation is changed. For this to be done, the old foundation has to be removed completely and a new foundation with God has to be settled. Imagine you built a house on the wrong foundation. Will you inhabit that house knowing it could collapse at any time? Certainly not. You would have to destroy it and rebuild it properly. Or if you're lazy, then go and save money to purchase new land. More Here...

• 6:30 PM
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Pity.

Believe it or not, it sucks more than loneliness. Because even in your loneliest moments, the only one who is sitting around thinking about how your life isn't what you want it to be is you. But when someone is looking at you and spewing patronizing cliches left and right, it's not you that's telling you your life sucks, it's someone else--though of course they are only implying it, and in the nicest way possible. For me, that is infinitely more unpleasant.

Sometimes being single is fun, and sometimes it's not as fun. But when people find out you're single and say some irritatingly well-meaning version of "Aw, poor you...it will happen for you someday..." that is when it's really most annoying. I stand there thinking, holy crap, please stop. (And sometimes, I actually say it.) More Here...

• 5:00 PM
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This Tuesday will be my first Valentine's Day in 12 years that I have not had a Valentine. 12 years of cards, dinner, flowers, kisses. I can't say that I'll miss it either.

Last Valentine's Day taught me that if you aren't spending Valentine's Day with someone you cherish and genuinely care for - it's not worth celebrating at all.

I'm not getting into the whole debate over "If you really love someone - you would show them everyday how much you care!" or "Valentine's Day is a Hallmark holiday." Psht. Be real. Valentine's Day is a day that you get to be your husband's girlfriend for a night. Or, if you're in a serious relationship, you can make it a date night. Or if you're new to a relationship, you can show the person that you really do see them sticking around for a while.

It's a day dedicated to lovers. More Here...

• 7:00 PM
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My husband and I have only been married for five months now. I felt like he married me because he loved me at first, but I am rethinking that. I am beginning to feel like he married me for the sake of our son having his last name. I got pregnant before we got married. As we discussed names for the baby he was very adamant that the baby would have his last name and I rebutted him with, "If we are not married then the baby either gets my last name or both of our names hyphenated," which he said no way to.

He said he is not a hippie and that the baby would have his last name; I was firm on where I stood. I was not willing to sway in the least for him after seeing friends of mine go through hell trying to get the last name of thier kids changed after the father would up and leave within a short period. A month and a half after that, we eloped to Reno which was fun even if I was pregnant.

The further along I got in pregnancy, the more my high sex drive intensified which he was loving. At the beginning of our relationship he told me he had a very high sex drive and that he'd never had a girlfriend be able to handle that. I told him I embraced it because I am a highly sexual woman. I told him I am the type of woman who enjoys a lot of sex with the same man. Jokingly, he told me he was already in love. During the pregnancy, I couldn't get enough sex especially since we work different schedules; me days and him nights. More Here...

• 5:00 PM
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This post was submitted anonymously.

My fiance's ex contacted him recently out of the blue, after nearly 2 years of having no contact after their breakup. Their relationship was about five to six months long and even though it was getting serious to the point where they talked marriage, she left him for another guy (who she is still with). He has never believed that she left him for this other guy although their anniversary listed on Facebook (which he apparently hasn't seen) tells the tale, and still believes to this day it was for other reasons.

He told her everything that's been going on in his life, including me, but instead of saying he's engaged or referring to me as his fiance, told her that he's been seeing someone and that she's going to be moving in, but no mention at all that we are engaged and getting married. This really bothers me, because to me, there is a big difference between being a fiance vs someone he is seeing who will be moving in. More Here...

• 3:00 PM
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My boyfriend isn't very sentimental or romantic. He usually has a hard time opening up and expressing his feelings. He isn't even real big on holding hands or being all PDA when we're out. He shows his affection in other ways, such as putting a lot of thought and effort into making me something for a holiday gift or sending me encouraging texts when he knows I'm having a rough day.

But, I still love him, even though I am an affectionate person.

After "kind-of dating" for eight months, and then "officially dating" for seven months, I decided to bite the bullet and tell him exactly how I felt about him. Yes, after thinking long and hard about it, I finally decided to tell him "I love you."

We recently took a road trip to Florida to attend his friend's wedding. On our way back to Ohio, we stopped in Georgia and stayed at a hotel for the night. After having some late-night-extracurricular-activities, we settled down and got ready to go to bed. I decided that this was it. This was my big moment.

Suddenly, I started to get really shy. I just kept going, "Hey...Hey..." and did some weird thing where I would poke him and giggle and turn my head away. Yeah, I get weird like that when I'm nervous. Romantic, right? But he knew something was up. I was just so scared of actually saying it out loud, you know? I knew he had trouble with mushy stuff like this; how would he react?

So finally, like a volcanic eruption of word vomit, I blurted out those three words.

His reaction?

He got tense and nervous and replied with...

"I know." More Here...

• 6:30 PM
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There have been a number of posts recently about the idea of "Standards" in dating... combined with the usual percentage of posts where a dater talks about a specific "problem" with their partner/wanna-be partner, and asks the community for a "fix" (Of the problem, ya know, not the other type of fix).

So, how do we get a handle on this standards thing?  Don't we need some?  After all... the person you are dating might just be CRAZY!

That's a word I see get thrown around a lot, with very little reliable connotation.  What does it mean?  Forget the DSM, we're talking about common usage and dating here.  I have noticed one specific trend... exes are "crazy" a much higher percentage of the time than future dating prospects.  Hmm, given that most people who are dating, or in the market to date, are also the ex of someone, the math there seems a bit suspicious. More Here...

• 4:00 PM
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You can't tell if it's a date or not.

More Here...

• 1:00 PM
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I have been seeing a guy for about 5 months now. He is still married to his wife of 5 years but has been separated for nearly a year now. I came out of a relationship with my ex a few months before I started seeing this guy. It just didn't work out and I ended it. I am not exactly in a 'relationship' with this guy but I like him a lot. It's as though I cannot define our situation?

We have slept together but only a handful of times in the space of 5 months. Like I said, he is separated but still cohabits with his wife because of their 2-year-old son. He said the love between him and his wife had been lost a very long time ago. I genuinely believe him. He has intentions of moving out of his house but has stayed there for the sake of his son. I can understand it is complicated for him as things can not be resolved easily over night. More Here...

• 2:00 PM
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This is sort of a follow-up to my post where I talked a bit about why I don't pick up the tab at dates, and why I insist on going dutch. Aside from the fact that women can work now and can support themselves, since I'm a mathematician by my former training I crunched the numbers myself, and let's just say they were gut wrenching!

For this calculation, I'm going to use an average estimate of $15 per date for the other person you're paying for. Let's assume you go on one date per month, and it takes you three years (a very, very conservative estimate) to find your match. So with that, we have an absolute low-ball estimate of you losing 15 X 12 X 3 = $540 over those three years, which you could have done other stuff with.

But it really doesn't work quite like that. Let's assume now you figure in lost interest you would have gained with those payments. Assuming you put those $15 you would be spending every month in an account that accrues 5% continuously compounded interest. In that case, we have the recursion formula of your amount as follows (where subscripts indicate months). More Here...

• 12:00 PM
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The "hot topic" that seems to be buzzing around Xanga is men's rights to an unborn fetus (I call it a fetus because in the time frame that you can have an abortion, the fetus has no more cells than a plant). I've seen numerous opinions about a variety of issues that come along with this subject and to save myself from going a little crazy, I feel like it's something that I need to get off of my chest. 

The most popular reasoning that people is that it's unjust for a women to "murder" when the father wants to keep it and that the "women have to go through emotional and physical difficulties" argument is invalid. I can see how people could see it that way but let's remember that being pregnant is no walk in the park. It's easier for some and hard for others.

A bit of personal story, when my mom was pregnant with me she went through a lot of medical problems, which led to her almost dying while she was giving birth. I can say one thing, growing up without a mother and a father who wasn't in the picture would have been the worst thing in the entire world. So you see, being pregnant isn't always a "just suck it up and do it" concept, especially when it's an unwanted one. More Here...

• 8:06 PM
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