Baby G!

A few weeks ago I came across the soon to be released book “Bringing Up BeBe” on Amazon while working on my book’s posting. Let me tell you something, I am stoked to read this book! I’m a self admitted Francofile. I guess a big role into it is the fact that NYC and Paris have a romantic love affair so it’s only natural, you’re a New Yorker there’s at least a little place in your heart for Paris. 

This author just had a fabulous article on the Wall Street Journal about her findings living in France and the difference in parenting techniques between Americana and French parents. I was shocked that after this article came out a ton of negative mommy blogger and twitter comments. A lot of these comments we’re in the frame of mind of “they think they are better than us” and frankly highly defensive. I actually cringed reading these feeds across twitter and blog posts because in all honesty these woman sounded nothing short of uneducated.

It’s one thing to take an article and argue the content point by point, use facts to defend your opinions. But, to just get defensive and react rather than respond, to a article? Why are so many so sensitive about this topic?

As a culture, as a country we are so very very young. I look at a lot European countries and cultures almost as “elders”. Not every single ideal works for our family but more certainly work than the “typical” american values and mostly because I think of the history that is behind these cultural values. 

I love this country for the “you can make anything happen” attitude hell I’ve made a LOT happen in my life because of this energy here. Yet, I still feel like as Americans we’re missing a key piece of the puzzle of what “success” is because we’re so young as a culture. I think we have no sense of “living life” and true cultural experience. Europe fosters this so much more than we do, and in particularly France. 

With sometimes up to 4 years of Maternity leave (did you know the US is one of only 4 countries in the world without national law for paid leave for parents?!), solid healthcare, better general attitude to public breast feeding, affordable childcare, and  a higher quality of life in general you want to tell me France isn’t onto something? I refuse to believe better public support doesn’t foster better parenting and a more solid development of parenting skills. 

I know I’m going to get some responses from the first half of this post saying “well if you like it so much better why don’t you just leave the US?!”. I’ll tell you why, because this is my home, I’m a product of this baby of a country and I have hope. I obviously have my issues with the States, but I’m doing everything I think I can to make the change happen for me and my daughter with my activist work. I have not given up on this country, our children will have a better future because of us today. 

Now, the big announcement. I wasn’t going to talk about this for sometime but I’m just so excited. In 2013 G and I are going on a big adventure. We’re going to PARIS for 3-6 months!!!! 

Now, the next year there’s SO much to get in line for this to work. Before you get your brain going, no we’re not rich. The only reason this is possible is because of this new beautiful loft. Here’s the deal, we’re going to apartment swap for a period of time and if I go during months I’m not needed for travel I can do my job from anywhere in the world with a solid internet connection. Also the cheaper cost of childcare in Paris will make the trip that much more cost affective and help with the poor exchange rate. The cost of living between Paris and NYC are very simular so it’s in all honesty won’t be a crazy cost difference at the end of the day!

There’s still SO much to be done before I leave. I have debt to finish paying off I’ve been carrying around for too many years, an ENTIRE loft to renovate, money to be saved as a serious safety fund/for travel. And that whole other language to be learned! 

I’m so excited to share this amazing experience with G and log all the new memories here. I’ve been saying how amazing 2012 is already but really 2013 is starting to shine in my mind! 

Isn’t it amazing how this: 

can in the drop of a hat turn into this:

with a toddler? 

As G is growing older boundaries and rules are becoming more and more important. For some reason I feel like people see us a “laxed” parents because we use a lot of alternative parenting techniques. People are often shocked to find out the reality is the complete opposite. While I’m more strict than Mark we run a tight ship when it comes to G and her behavior and we started at a young age. 

We started time outs long before the first tantrum. We started using time out when G turned one years old. It was difficult in the beginning being she would get off the stool and we would have to put her back 50 times but after a few weeks she figured it out and stayed put. 

I have to say a year later and time out really works for us. She will still toss fits and misbehave but clearly telling her “if you behave like this (or do XYZ) anymore you will go in time out” works 95% of the time to get her to stop what she’s doing and behave. It has even helped with getting her on a sleep schedule since she’ll stay in her bed eventually passing out knowing if she gets down she’ll be put in timeout. 

Here’s a few points that have seemed to help us over the past year:

-Being consistant, if we say she’s going to go into time out she does, there’s no “extra chances” 

-Getting on her level, eye to eye to speak. We try not to “talk down” to her. I think just because a kid is acting out doesn’t mean they need to be spoken down to

-Using one stool consistantly

-Keeping the time out short

-Keeping our explanations short and simple

-Telling her why she was in time out and that we’re not mad at her when we take her out

-The person who puts her in time out takes her out

Now there’s still some behavior issues we’re working on with G. Mostly how she expresses her frustration. She’s been hitting a lot lately. Also she has this thing about biting Mark, she won’t bite me ever but him she has no issue chomping down when he’s having trouble understanding her or removing her from an activity she doesn’t want to leave. I’m not too worried about it all though honestly. Every toddler will find a way or a reason to misbehave at one point or another and G besides for her moments is actually very polite. Girl knows how to say her pleases and thank yous! The percentage of good behavior greatly out weighs the bad and I guess this is all you can ask for as a parent right? A healthy balance.

What are some of your toddler tricks with a tantrum heavy weekend behind us they are more than welcomed! 

Whhoooohoooooo! The paperback version of my book just became available online!!!!

So surreal honestly, but still amazing. Hey guys I did that!

If you were one of the people messaging me about when the book would be published for physical sale you can go HERE to pick it up! 

What does one do in a large loft on a lazy Sunday? 

Roll out a HUGE piece of yellow paper across your living room of course

Dump on some crayons 

Trace little people

Go deep sea diving

And Daddy Climbing 

Shit Crunchy Moms Say

Seriously guys, I went into watching this video ready to laugh, get a kick. Than I realized that woman is me with a shocked cold look on my face and every single thing she says, I well have said many a times. I never considered myself “crunchy”, is this one of those self realization moments?

F@&$!

I’ve been thinking about this topic for sometime and was so happy when I read this on the Academy’s blog over the weekend. It’s so true, we all do it, we present our best selves to the world online. I particularly see this in the parenting blogging world which leads to a horrible competitiveness.

” Who can be the most creative? Who have the most readers? Who has the most interaction? Is it because they are prettier? Is it because they have the better life? Is it because their kid has cuter clothes? Is it cause they are skinnier?….oh it’s cause they just have the perfect life… right?”

 The crazy thing is this NO, none of us are perfect and none of us look EXACTLY like the photos we pick and choose to put up for the world to see because we know those are the ones we think we look the best in. NONE of us are naive enough to not have the thought of how we’re being presented to the world cross our mind every single time we blog. If we all didn’t like the attention, the community, the “public” side of blogging we’d all be keeping journals instead. I’ll be the first to admit I LOVE TALKING ABOUT MYSELF, MY FAMILY, AND MY LIFE ONLINE and know what else? I know my words are being read by complete strangers and that is exciting to me. I like to be liked.

 Sure it’s fun to drink the cool-aid, I love reading some people’s blogs and falling into their world thinking how perfect it all must be and letting it inspire myself to be better at this or that,  more fun with the kid, and most of the time more positive in general. But it’s a fine line we all need to be careful to not cross, being inspired is so different than comparing ourselves to others. 

So I think this graphic hits it right on the nose, Love who you are, no matter what. And if I can add to it…don’t give a fuck what other blogs are up to, or what other’s lives are like, be the you that make YOU the most happy and for gods sake keep those carefully chosen photos coming. Who wants to see a half awake, snot covered mom photos (aka us the OTHER 95% of the time) anyway right?

www.AwesomeBabyBlogs.com

Pretty much all last week for me. 

This week has flew by it seems! Officially everyone is back healthy here. The past few days have been full of catching up, cleaning up, and reorganizing work. It’s amazing how one flu can cause so much trouble under one roof.

We live right along a park and they have “off leash” hours every morning and evening. For those of you not in cities off leash hours are exactly what they sound like, where you can let your dogs off leash without getting a ticket. Before 9am and after 9pm our park turns into one giant dog playground. Even more amazingly, in the summer months all the parents with young early rising children bring their kids down (even ones without dogs!) and it turns into a giant group of toddlers/kids, 25+ dogs of all sizes (there’s LOTS of big dogs in this city!), and the grown-ups inhaling their morning brews. 

I have to say, for how difficult Brooklyn is, how much of a struggle it is to keep our head above water it really is a magical and amazing place to live for things like this. 

Our weekend will be filled with cleaning up the last little dust this flu has left on our schedule, even more unpacking/organizing, and possibly a visit with a friend or two. I hope you all have a wonderful magic weekend! 

XO 

K

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