Adventures while mothering.

When a girl has a sister-friend, things are never quite as scary. You see, when I felt like the world walked out on me, my sister-friends walked in. We have been friends for over 20 years and I am so blessed to have them in my life. I consider it a privilege to be friends with such kind, smart, courageous, fair-minded, loyal, sassy women. Truly, they are not just friends, they are family… they are my sisters. Allow me to introduce you to Beth and Thomasina.

“If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together… there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart… I’ll always be with you.” – A.A. Milne

Prop 8 deemed unconstitutional in California.

Today, a federal appeals court said what so many of us have said a million times over:

Proposition 8 [California's marriage protection act] serves no purpose, and has no effect, other than to lessen the status and human dignity of gays and lesbians in California and to officially reclassify their relationship and families as inferior to those of opposite-sex couples. … The Constitution simply does not allow for ‘laws of this sort.’

Did you know the first mention of gay rights was made by Emma Goldman in 1910? She is quoted as saying:

It is a tragedy, I feel, that people of a different sexual type are caught in a world which shows so little understanding for homosexuals and is so crassly indifferent to the various gradations and variations of gender and their great significance in life.

I am baffled why this is still an “issue” in 2012. Even with this small victory in California, it’s such a long road to travel, as made clear by a list of US states with amendments banning same-sex unions by type. I perceive the resistance as a fear of something being  ’different’. Why are Americans so fearful? I’m reminded of our 32nd President, Franklin D. Roosevelt, who said in his inaugural speech, “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

What I find most interesting, is that it seems our lesbian, gay, bi-sexual and transgender (LGBT) brothers and sisters in Europe enjoy far greater acceptance there than anywhere else in the world. Seven out of the ten countries that have legalized same-sex marriage are in Europe; a further fourteen European countries have legalized civil unions or other forms of recognition for same-sex couples.

The American Foundation for Equal Rights (AFER) Board President Chad Griffin expressed his thoughts on the ruling.

“Like many other Americans, our plaintiffs [Kris Perry and Sandy Stier, and Paul Datami and Jeff Zarrillo] want nothing more than to marry the person they love. Committed, loving couples and their families should not be denied this most fundamental freedom.” (ABC NEWS)

I welcome your thoughtful comment on the ruling and my message here today.

I loved their home. Everything smelled older, worn but safe; the food aroma had baked itself into the furniture. — Susan Strasberg

Do you (or did you) feel this way about your grandparents’ house? I can still remember the faint aroma of Coke, Wonder Bread, laundry running, sneaking my grandma’s Mary Kay makeup… and let’s not forget her banana bread and pineapple upside down cake.

I have been overwhelmed as of late at the thought of so many obligations I’ve signed up for when it comes to my “online presence”. I think that it is my curiosity that has made me feel so tired of it all — a curiosity in what others are doing and to be a part of that which we call a community. Between Facebook, Twitter, Google+, LinkedIn, Foursquare, Pinterest — is it all really necessary????

I’m learning to look at this problem with an open mind and eyes open. If the internet disappeared tomorrow, I would likely mourn the loss, but I don’t know that I would miss it. I’ve been on the other side of this “information age” and I can see how there were pros and cons to both sides. Let’s be realistic, though: we are becoming too dependent on the internet for our information and social interactivity.

I’ve read the daily thoughts of a woman named Gwen Bell for the past couple of months, and she has some interesting thoughts about living life more simply and purposefully. She has inspired me to think about what I can give up and mourn the loss and to be more focused on what really matters to me.

Because of these distractions and because I have dedicated 2012 to finding my voice as a writer, I have also taken the time to learn different ways that I can write with minimal or no interruptions. Just tonight, I discovered a simple text processor that plays light music and allows me to write without being distracted by Facebook, Twitter, or email. Thinking now, I have not wanted to check any of those services while I’ve written this post. Most glorious of all glories! I have found my saving grace! I also plan to use the Pomodoro technique as much as possible.

What do you think about the status of the internet? Have you become overly dependent on it? If yes, how do you plan to cut back on some of your activities online?

I tend to put my head in the sand when a difficult situation arises and I’m slowly trying to change that habit. It’s difficult to do, though, when this is what I’ve done for so long. I long for a day that I will be completely swallowed up by my own feeling of happiness… being content in every single way.

I have found myself to be most happy:

Helping to plan my family reunion.

Seeing my kids smile.

Receiving a thank you from my boss for a job well done.

Singing.

Writing.

Having long telephone conversations with my best friend.

Watching a romantic comedy.

Listening to music.

Worshiping in a church with friends that love me no despite my transgressions.

Eating anything made with chocolate.

Enjoying an ice cold beer while singing karaoke.

Drinking a good cup of coffee.

Laughing with my kids.

Being on a Colorado mountain.

Soaking my legs and feet in the New Jersey shore.

After a good shampoo and haircut.

Learning something new.

What makes you happy?

I am the oldest of six siblings: there are four boys and two girls in the Allen family. I’ve already told you 100 things about me — maybe you’d like to learn about my siblings?

My brother, Gregory, is married to Rose and has three kids. In high school, he was in jazz band. He is a computer programmer. He knows how to play Magic and he loves crafting.

My brother, Nathaniel, has been dating his girlfriend for years now. I consider her my sister-friend, even though they are not married. He loves basketball and the Nuggets. He played soccer with an adult inter-mural team. He taught himself how to play guitar! This year, he and his girlfriend are planning a move to Alaska.

My sister, Michele, has been dating her boyfriend for years, too. She was a cartoonist for her college newspaper and she interned at Fanta Graphics and translated a graphic novel from French to English. She is now enrolled in a Masters program for  Comparative Literature.

I have two brothers which are twins: Matthew and Paul. Matthew is engaged to a lovely young woman who hails from Texas. He has worked his way from the ground up in the service industry and he is now a General Manager for a Tex-Mex restaurant in Austin, TX. He’s interested in cooking. He likes to entertain friends at his home. Paul is reserved and has handsome eyes. He is passionate about home brewing beer and women! He is very laid-back and has a nice sense of humor.

How many siblings do you have? What are some of the best parts of them?

It’s Groundhog Day! Do you believe the legend of Punxsutawney Phil? Will there be six more weeks of winter, or not? I’m at Mom It Forward today, with three ways to get you through the next six weeks (and avoiding the “winter blues”) if the cold and snow hangs around.

Read more here.