and he turns another year older
July 6th 2010 15:59
It's been so long since I wrote anything here.
Things have turned around, upside down and inside out for me and my son. It's been one BIG challenge to me as a parent. A challenge I almost gave up on at one point last year.
It's tiring to be a single parent. Especially when you've been used to sharing the responsibility with someone else.
Since I last wrote anything here, he's turned 2 years older already and it sure is completely different having a 6 year old around the house.
It's both a good thing and another bit of challenge. We have a debater around the house. I have someone questioning and challenging my words and orders. I no longer have a gullible, obedient little baby boy.
He's thinking for himself and is thinking with more reason and logic in his head.
It's tough, I tell yah. And with how busy I've been with work lately, it's just a bit of a headache for me.
I've been a single mom for 2 years but it's just getting tougher. He needs more things from a father - or a male figure at the very least and he has none.
My dad's in Australia, I have NO brothers, no boyfriend -- NONE to help me out with male stuff.
Not easy, and I always am thinking about how he's going to grow up. I'm both excited and anxious to find out. But for now... I need to help him get through these phases he's going to go through. It's looking like it'll be tougher for ME more than it is going to be for him.
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Posted By: Hazel Castillo - Category: No Category
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I'm a Big Boy Mommy
September 20th 2008 03:08
Every night before we go to bed, my son and I would have a little chat, pray and say our Thank You's for the day and kiss each other goodnight.
It's a routine we've established since our Dada well... left. It's a very calming and assuring routine for both of us as our prayers both have something for Dada.
He'd also say cute Thank You's at the end of his prayers like:
"Thank you for eating, for playing, for sleeping, for going to school... thank you for loving mommy" -- aawww... It's cute and sometimes amazing how he thinks of things he wants to be thankful for.
During our chats, I'd ask him how school went, what he did in his two and a half stay in his cute little blue classroom with all 10 of his classmates.
Oftentimes I hear the same things over and over like, we played, we washed our hands, we ate, we sang, etc etc.
Every now and then I'd hear a new activity like when they started their Animal Alphabet with A for Alligator, they had an Alligator path they followed all over the room, over and under and all around.
Then we also talk about what he did for the rest of the day. Often times he asks me... "Mommy, do big boys brush their teeth?" or "Mommy, do big boys get dressed all by themselves?"
Once I say, yes they do he'd have a big grin on his face and tell me "I'm a Big Boy now mommy!" Kids love learning that they're big boys and girls already. They are in such a rush to be a "big boy or girl". While we, adults, are dying to become kids again.
The other day while I was giving him his bath, he said.
"Mommy, don't cry when Ziggy goes to school and Dada goes to the office. You're a big girl."
He's seen me cry by myself one too many times when he's Dada's not home, especially when he left the house 2 weeks ago. He knows and somehow understands why I'm sad but he believes it's nothing. It's only because they leave mommy alone at home sometimes. He often makes me realize how tougher kids are because of innocence.
How I wish I had his innocence and strength to face this trial. He is indeed a big boy now. He's a bigger boy than I thought he was.
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Posted By: Hazel Castillo - Category: No Category
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Missing our dada
September 15th 2008 03:38
My husband's left our house more than a week ago. Because of this ordeal we're going through he couldn't stay in the house anymore. He couldn't take being in the same place with me.
It's too lengthy and complicated if I had to explain... but we're not separated yet... and I'm praying to God we won't get to that point.
My bigger problem is now my son. He's been looking for his Dada for every God given day of our lives and I can't quite explain to him. I just tell him, "Dada left and let's pray that he comes back.. ok?"
For some reason I think he understands. He does nod his head, tells me "Mommy, I want to Pray." and says the only prayer he knows...
Angel of God,
my guardian dear,
to whom God's love commits me here,
ever this day,
be at my side
to light and guard,
to rule and guide.
AMEN.
I cry everytime I see him pray, knowing he really misses his dad. We both believe his dad is still coming back after he's sorted things out but the pain of knowing your son is missing a big part of his life even though it's just been a little over a week is just difficult to bear.
We miss him so much. We know he loves his son at least, if his love for me truly has diminished, at least he loves his son to even try and make this marriage work. The key is to TRY.
I firmly believe though, as much as the priest has said that his anger and resentments and all that's bothering him now is just overpowering his Love for me. The love he's had for me for the longest time.
Last friday when he dropped by to help in my son's school where we had to bring our beagle to show to class as part of their animal alphabet, my son was dancing with joy. I couldn't take it.
Lord God, let this pain end....My son deserves a father and no one else can be a better father than my husband.
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Curiosity burned the hand
September 7th 2008 09:17
I mean it literally.
My little one was hanging out with one of my sisters who was chatting with our house helper, who was ironing clothes (lol -- that's a long string
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I miss being pregnant :(
September 2nd 2008 06:52
For a few months already I've been seeing or hearing news about friends and family getting pregnant. I suddenly missed that feeling. It's such a wonderful feeling.
I know that right now I'm in the middle of a marital dilemma/problem/situation, and it's definitely not wise to be having a child (in any means!) right now. For some reason, after about 2 years of my husband asking me for a baby girl (and me saying no for a lot of different reasons), I'm the one who wants one and well he's the one who doesn't even know if he wants to stay
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Clowns and Kids
September 1st 2008 06:31
I don't know about you but Clowns, freak me out! I don't know which started -- happy clowns that started to create phobias with kids, or just some really freaky clowns that were meant to scare.
I know there are quite a few movies that used clowns to freak the audience out -- err.. Stephen King's IT for example
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Mothering a Mother
August 7th 2008 10:19
How many times have you irked at how your mum would tell you how to be a parent??
I've had so much of those the past week when my child was sick and ooooohhhh I sometimes just couldn't stand it
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Journal for him
July 25th 2008 22:40
A good friend of mine gave me a nice journal she hand made with her dad. It's very beautiful, you would think it's one of those manufactured and sold in bookstores.
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CHILD MISSING!!! Helping a fellow Multiply-er
July 24th 2008 05:33
Any parent will surely feel this is heartwrenching.
I logged in on my multiply site today and saw this post re-posted on different other sites. An online contact posted about her nephew who's missing. They believe he was abducted two days ago while they were at an entertainment center
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Posted By: Hazel Castil