I Don’t Believe I Can Do This
All of my children have worked on learning to ride bikes this summer. At 12, 10, and 6 years old, you would probably think that they would have already have known, but they didn’t. As a matter of fact, our oldest has only just started trying to learn (sporting one of these bikes instead).
There has been one factor that I have noticed that has worked against each of them — they didn’t really believe that they could do it. Every single one of them had tears at some point. And, I told each of them, at some point, that I knew they could do this and I wouldn’t ask them to do it if I didn’t believe that they could. But, as long as they believed they couldn’t, they wouldn’t be able to.
It is with noted hypocrisy that I admit here — I don’t think I can do this.
I never worried about trying to lose weight before, and then the last few years, I have tried several times. (I did have one attempt where I lost 30 pounds, but life got crazy and I took on a new job. I quit going to the gym and gained it all back.) Each time I have attempted to lose weight and get healthy, I have truly believed it would work. I make plans for how it will be, and I get excited. But then, I end up getting frustrated when there is no weight loss (I seem to really hold weight in a way that I don’t understand), and I give up.
I’m starting this attempt already feeling defeated. It was not a surprise to not lose weight this first week. I don’t truly believe that this will work.
Last week, I sat in church alone on a week night. I prayed about a lot of things. But this one of them. I told Jesus that I clearly can’t do this alone. I absolutely need as much of His help as possible.
Right now, I guess it’s me with the bike helmet, knee pads, and elbow pad, crying in the street and shaking my head and saying that I don’t want to try to ride again. I want to just use the training wheels forever or maybe I just won’t ride the bike at all then, because I just don’t think I’ll ever learn to ride that bike. I need to try to remember that that probably means that my Heavenly Father is there in the street too, saying those same things that I told my kids.
photo by heydee
Goals for September
I have long meant to sign up for the 3 in 30 challenges, so this seems like a perfect time to do it. Here are my goals for September:
1. Exercise for at least 20 minutes on at least 80% of the days in September. It is my intention that next month, I’ll up the percentage. But, quite frankly, I’d rather shoot for success this month, and I feel like this could be doable.
2. Get 7 hours of sleep at least 60% of the nights in September. I am always staying up too late and not getting enough sleep. I know this isn’t really good for my body or my weight loss. (But Jimmy Fallon is just so darn funny and cute.)
3. Drink at least four glasses of water per day. Our glasses fit about 12 oz, so this would come out to about 48 oz of water per day. I don’t mind water. In fact, I like drinking it. I just don’t always think of it.
This post is linked to 3 in 30 Challenge.
I Hate Counting
Maybe I don’t hate counting as a general thing to do. Although, I’m no Count.
It’s the calorie counting or point counting or any other kind of counting where I am totaling up whatever food I am eating. Not only is it tedious, but I find that it really messes with me. I can eat a big meal and feel full. But, as soon as I start recording it all somewhere, it makes me feel a little hungry. I know this is psychological, but it really hurts my progress.
I have considered trying to drastically change my diet (as in what I eat, not an eating plan) to get rid of most processed foods and things like white sugar, and focus on real foods – fruits, vegetables, whole grains, leaner meats, and so on. And then, just not count calories. I don’t know that that would really work for a myriad of reasons. But, it could be an experiment.
So, no offense there Count, but I hate counting.