“Whom would you like to invite for your upcoming wedding ceremony?” Father asked his son
“All except you and mom” the Son replied
“But why” Father angrily shouted
“Had you bothered to invite me for your ceremony!” the Son pleaded.

At my friends’ wedding reception, the groom stood to say a few words. He turned to his bride’s mother. “You’ve given me a gift,” he began, “a gift that…”
Here he paused, a pause that grew in length. “That you can’t return!” his mother-in-law completed the sentence.

I have a reputation for not being a fantastic cook. One evening I worked particularly hard on a new recipe, and once again it didn’t turn out as well as I’d hoped. My son, always sweet and conscious of my feelings, chose his words carefully after the meal. “Mom,” he said, “that dinner was so good I thought someone else made it.”

A son was filling up the form with Dad’s help. He came across a question, “Mother tongue.”
He asked his Dad, “What should I write here, Dad?”
And Dad responded, “Very long.”

Stingy Abe was on his deathbed. “Is my wife here?” he asked
“Yes, I’m here next to you,” she answered.
“And the kids?”
“We’re here, Daddy,” the youngest answered.
“Is the rest of the family here too?”
“Around your bed,” his wife assured him.
At that, Abe sits up and yells, “So why is the kitchen light on?”

A young boy and his doting grandmother were walking along the seashore when a huge wave appeared out of nowhere, sweeping the child out to sea. The horrified woman fell to her knees, raised her eyes to the heavens and begged the Lord to return her beloved grandson.
Lo, another wave reared up and deposited the stunned child on the sand before her. The grandmother looked the boy over carefully. He was fine. But still she stared up angrily toward the heavens.
“When we came,” she snapped indignantly, “he had a hat!”

When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased.
I turned to mom and said, “I’m surprised at you. Don’t you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?”
Mom smiled and then replied…..”I remember.”