While a talking head discussed some financial stuff for a news report a young woman in the background was so engrossed in what she was texting that she took a serious dive over a flight of stairs. This clip was captured by Canadian television CBC in Ontario and proves that the frightening concentration of a woman on her cell knows no national boundaries.

First, let’s all take a moment to admire this post’s title shall we? That there is a flawless string of words and not words that would inspire jealousy from the likes of Tim Burton, Roald Dahl, and even Dr. Suess himself! Sometimes I am humbled by my job and the wonderfully immaculate juxtapositions created by those among the human race we deem celebrities.

Now that that’s out of the way…

Check out these photos of Adele’s reported romantic inspiration Slinky Sunbeam flashing his ode-inducing dinky at Peaches Geldoff with his band name “The More Assured” painted on his chest repeatedly. Oh, and he also pitched his wares to none other than Pippa Middleton! (I’m sorry Adele, but I don’t think you could have had it allllllllalllall with this guy.)

Over the weekend Kim Kardashian and her ex-boyfriend, no not that one, no not the one in the tape, (sigh)…. Reggie Bush were spotted out having lunch at the Beverly Hills Hotel. This little get together flamed some serious, “Are Kim K. and Reggie B. hooking back up rumors.” We all know her ex-husband baller Kris Humphries wasn’t much of a talker and that in general professional athletes get the rap of not being the talkative type so it was refreshing to see what Reggie Bush had to say when he was asked straight up about the possibility of being Mr. Kim K. again.

The Simpsons is an American institution and the show recently celebrated its 500th episode. Only two other TV programs in history reached that milestone, Gunsmoke (635) and Lassie (588). We here at Starcasm say congrats to Homer and his family and the whole town of Springfield for this mind blowing, will never be reached again, accomplishment. As a shout out, here’s a killer graphic of 20 years of Bart’s opening credit chalkboard quotes written in the classroom of Mrs. Krabappel. After a few great laughs, let us know your personal favorite!

A while back I did a quick write up on how Amber Portwood wasn’t evicted from her home that she had already moved her stuff out of and didn’t live in at the time because she was incarcerated. Well… TMZ is citing law enforcement sources that are stating she was eventually evicted and it was due to the fact that Amber was using tax payer money to subsidize her housing cost and she was earning way too much bank to do so. Read on for the latest in the crazy life of Amber Portwood.

Last week’s Season 2 finale of TeenMom 2 featured a number of startling scenes between Kailyn Lowry, her son Isaac’s father Jo Rivera, and her boyfriend at the time Jordan Wenner. But the “reality” is that a lot of those scenes had actually already happened and were recreated for the cameras, which would explain some of the perplexing emotions and reactions we saw on screen. Keep reading for the inside scoop of what happened when and get a better understanding of Kail’s reuniting with Jo and eventual break up with Jordan.

Chris Brown has a Twitter-F-Bomb Grammy self-love for all you h8rs – Allie is Wired

George Clooney and Brad Pitt don’t hang out – Amy Grindhouse

Is your cleavage guilty of biological sexual harassment – Jezebel

Man has heart attack at heart attack grill – dlisted

Whitney Houston’s funeral to be live streamed – The FAB Life

Did Kim and Kris never consummate their marriage? – The Superficial

5 simple tips for cold and flu season – Betty Confidential

Taylor Momsen actually tries demure in a dress – I Need My Fix

Glee’s full “I Will Always Love You” performance – OMG Blog

Real Housewives of Orange County recap: Buddy buddy time – Reality Tea

Nancy Grace suspects foul play in death of Whitey Houston – The Frisky

Lil Kim disses Nicki Minaj on Watch What Happens Live – Straight from the A

Hillary Duff is a about ready to pop – Celeb Baby Laundry

David Cross claims he snorted cocaine with Obama present – Wonderwall

Victoria Beckham has got little David where it counts – Have U Heard?

Radar Online is reporting that Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Taylor Armstrong has been dating one of her attorneys, 54-year-old John Bluher, for about two months. Bluher, who is married with three children, has been helping Taylor (pro bono according to Radar Online’s source) in her lawsuit with MyMedicalRecords.com and has been with Taylor on her current book tour. John’s wife Stephanie Bluher has opened up about the reported affair and says, “It’s completely not true.” Keep reading for the rest of what she had to say as well as John Bluher’s rather lengthy statement also denying the dating reports.

Storage Wars star Darrell Sheets reveals that he once found a dead body in an abandoned storage unit! He says police confiscated everything in the locker (of course) and told him it was the body of a woman murdered by her husband. Keep reading for the horrific story as well as another story from another Storage Wars cast member about another dead body found in a unit! (This is some Silence of the Lambs s*** right here!)

As you might imagine, this week’s tabloids are all about the tragic passing of Whitney Houston with the singer making the cover of every major tabloid is some capacity this week with the exception of OK! and Reality Weekly. Other cover headline grabbers this week include lots of Kim Kardashian, Angelina and Brad, Teen Mom Leah Messer, and Lisa Vander-rump?