Hokie Hoops vs. Duke

Written by BDubs | 01 February 2012

Spot on analysis, D_W, and thanks for saying a few words while I was in hiatus. Truth be told, C Gally was supposed to give you guys a preview for UVA, but he failed miserably. I was writing one for Maryland, but then the site kept going down on me. Anyway, we've failed you as writers, but never fear - BDubs is back with your bball preview against the Dookies. Hit the jump bitches.

 

C'mon, who DIDN'T see this coming? 

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Mini-rant tirade about previous game

OK honestly, 19 points in the first half? I was at this game and it made me want to cry. Sadly, a couple of my new Maryland friends called it. With about 8 minutes to go in the half, they said that we wouldn't even score 20. <Sigh> Nailed it. Though it's not like it was a shocker. So then I told a Hokie buddy that we would need to score at least 50 to have a chance at winning and even then it was no guarantee. Ha. Go figure. We dropped 50 but lost anyway. But you know what? Should we really be surprised at this point? 

It's gotten to the point whether either we are just going to laugh hysterically or turn the TV off. It's really that simple. Seriously, how did we even beat UVA? And how in the world do people expect us to beak Duke? What makes last game incredibly funny is that we took 14 more shots than Maryland and they STILL beat us. How can you not muster up a measly 5 extra points off 14 extra shots? It just seems so simple. Is anyone sick of this losing crap already? Looks like it's time to break out the big gun...

Yeah, we think it's about that time

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Basketball Fail of the Week

This week brings you a 10 year veteran of the NBA. Clearly he has been playing basketball a long time, so you would think he's had plenty of practice shooting free throws. Well, this is where it gets hilarious. 

Yes, that really did happen. We're not sure how and we're not sure why, but it definitely happened. DeSagana Diop may have thrown up the worst free throw ever attempted in the NBA. The best part about it is the complete silence from the commentators. You have to think they are sharing a WTF look with one another, holding back a good belly laugh, and then scrambling to figure out what they should say. Honestly, what DO you say? And as one of my friends said: look at his face after he misses - it's as if he expected it to happen. Wow. So congratulations DeSagana - you have taken the honor of basketball fail of the week.

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Tweet of the Week

This week's tweet has been going around twitter for a few hours now. At this point, many of you have probably seen it. And because this guy plays football for VT, there really is no reason to conceal his identity. The tweet of the week definitely comes from Mr. James Gayle, defensive end for the Hokies. As all of you SHOULD know, yesterday was national signing day for high school seniors. Looks like Morgan Moses (UVA offensive lineman) was feeling a little nostalgic...

"I remember two years ago when I shocked the world and signed with UVA"

Yes, back then Moses was the 49th ranked player in the country and ended up signing with UVA. We should all ask him how that has turned out for him. But our own Mr. James Gayle had a little something to say about that as well:

"I remember when two months ago I hit you wit that student step spin move for the sack lol"

And boom goes the dynamite. 

38-0 bitches!!!!!

So thank you James for providing such an epic tweet of the week.

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The Good Guys

Really, all we want to point out here this time is that our highly touted freshman Dorian Finney-Smith is 0-21 in his last 5 games, which includes a wide open dunk. Would you also care to believe that he didn't even start against Maryland? Yeah, that kid is in a real funk right now and looks lost playing in ACC competition. Basically, he has regressed since the season started...wonder whose fault that could be? Ooooooooohhhhh *uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

What else can we say here that hasn't been said before? Nothing will surprise you anymore. Air Bud hasn't worked, Neon hasn't worked, Will Smith has failed, and Zack Morris has been a let down...so wtf are we supposed to do now? We're calling in our sleeper stud. He's from Africa and a mix of Hakeem Olajuwon, Patrick Ewing, and Shaq. In case you have no idea who we're talking about, we bring you Saleh from The Air Up There. 

Honestly, this has to work. For once. If not, then we probably can't call on anymore reinforcements because we can't really think of anymore fictional basketball players to lead us to victory. 

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The Dookies
Must we really say anything about this team? You know what they're about. They are good and have Coach K. Seriously, that is all you need to know. But guess what? 

Yep that's right. We got this and we're showing it again. It will never...ever...EVER get old. Suck on deez nuts, Paulus.

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Celebrity Look-a-Like

Sorry, nothing good this week. Apparently the closest thing resembling Coach K are Paul Walker and Matthew McConaughey and that's just a *ucking insult to Coach K. He is his own breed of man. Get over it.

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Duke Pump Up Video

All we have to say is: people are awesome. Just watch. It's pretty damn cool.

Yes, I got lazier the more I kept sitting here writing....

GO HOKIES!!!!