Moving Beyond a Cheating Partner
Cheating is something that takes a long time to overcome. It destroys all the trust that was built in a relationship, and can leave you feeling completely devastated. If you don’t confront these emotions, they can damage future relationships. Here’s what you should know.
Don’t Blame Yourself
It’s not uncommon to get stuck in the self blame game after a spouse has been caught cheating. Don’t allow yourself to go down this road. It wouldn’t have mattered if you were thinner, less busy, or better in bed. Once a partner has decided to cheat, they were going to do it regardless of changes you’d made.
Understand that it Changes Things
It’s not impossible to heal a relationship after infidelity, but it takes time. You will also not be able to turn back the hands of time to a day when your spouse didn’t cheat. This happened. You have to face it, and understand that the dynamic of the relationship has changed. If you decide not to remain in the relationship that is perfectly understandable, and you should not feel forced or obligated to stay.
Allow Time to Heal
Finding out that your partner has been cheating is going to cause you grief. It’s not dissimilar to the emotions you would go through after losing a family member or close friend. Allow yourself to feel the anger and sadness, but don’t let it consume you. This will make you bitter and make it harder to move forward. Seeking therapy to help does not make you weak either, and it’s a good idea.
Great Group Sex Advice
Group sex is a fantasy for many men and women alike. Orgies are typically easy to set up, and can be fun for all involved. There are a few things you should keep in mind to plan a great event.
Check Out the Clubs
Many swingers clubs have meet ups monthly where people can get together and explore different aspects of their sexuality. Most of the time you must pay a membership for admittance, and must provide a valid ID. Condoms are almost always provided. The clubs can be safer than just going out and finding people since they are regulated and have strict rules.
Host a Sex Party
If you are involved in the swinging community, hosting a group sex party should be relatively easy. Just be sure that you invite couples who are willing to swap and participate in group activities. It’s also a good idea to invite more couples than you actually want, as some will inevitably back out anyhow.
Be Prepared
If you are hosting a group sex party, you want to make sure you have plenty of condoms, lubes, clean towels, and even showers available. It’s also not a bad idea to have drinks and munchies available, as prolonged group sex can lead to hunger and thirst later. Just be a good host. Make your expectations clear at the beginning of the night. If you want to have a no cameras policy, state that when you send the invitations. If you expect the guests to provide anything, that needs to be stated as well. This will lead to no surprises and delays in the fun on the night of the party.
How to Find Real Swingers
When it comes to swinging, you will find that there are many different ways to find genuine swingers. While it may be awkward at first, it’s easy to get in to the scene. As long as you know where to look it isn’t hard to find real swingers.
Swingers Clubs
Going to swinger’s clubs is a great way for you to get your foot in the door when it comes to the swinger’s scene. Clubs typically charge a membership and have strict rules so it’s a safe way to meet others who are interested in the same activities.
Go Online
Typically, the best way for you to get in touch with other swingers is to go online. There are plenty of websites devoted to alternative lifestyles, including swingers. Just be sure to read through the profiles carefully so you can weed out the real deal from the time wasters. You will also be able to find dating sites that are dedicated to swingers. Many of these sites also have devoted forums, where you can meet others in your area and ask questions.
Research Your Area
Many sites have listings of Local Swingers, this is a must if you want to find someone close to you, if you are will ing to travel you can also widen your search to other areas.
Asking Around
While it may be something that is an awkward question to ask you may find that you end up meeting a lot of swingers this way. Whenever you are getting to know somebody mention casually if they participate or know anybody that participates in swinging. It’s something that is only a big deal if you allow it to be.
Swinging behind a partner’s back
If you are swinging behind a partner’s back then you will need to make sure that you are extremely careful. This is something that can get you both hurt and put you both at risk if you are not careful and smart on how you go about doing this.
Cheating
If your partner is okay with you seeing other people then technically this is not considered cheating. However, if your partner is unaware that you are having sex with others then you are cheating on them and should tell them the truth before they end up getting hurt.
Responsible
You need to be responsible whenever you are swinging behind your partner’s back. While you should make sure to use protection no matter what whenever you are a swinger this is something that is even more important whenever you are in a relationship with somebody else.
Invite Them
Swinging behind a partner’s back is something that you should not try to do. If you want to swing but don’t want to leave this person then mention the activity in passing to your partner. See how they respond to it. If they seem to be okay with the idea then invite them along.
Make a Decision
You cannot have a healthy relationship going behind your partner’s back and swinging. You will eventually need to make a decision about whether or not the relationship is more important than swinging. Break up with your partner if you do not feel that you would be happy not swinging.
STD’s and Other Nasties – Being Safe
There are hundreds of diseases that are transmitted through sexual activity. It can put a damper on any fun when you stop to think about it. However, it’s necessary that you understand how serious this can be, and what you can do to prevent it.
Always Use Condoms
Condoms should always be used, even in the beginning of a monogamous relationship. Until you know for certain that you can trust your partner not to stray, and you have doctors proof that you are both clean, you should never take the chance. Condoms are more than 99% effective when used properly. Using them properly is also key. Take some time to learn how to actually put them on, and find the right size. Condoms should also be used for any oral sex as well, since there are several STDs that can be contracted through oral sex.
Cross Contamination
Another way to get a nasty infection is to go from anal to vaginal, or anal or to oral sex. Never use any toy in your vagina that has been used for anal purposes. If you aren’t working with toys, be sure to change the condom before switching activities. It’s also important that you use other forms of protection as well. Dental dams are great for oral and anal/oral sex as they prevent the transmission of disease. If this is daunting, find flavored dams. It will take some time to get used to, but it can save you from an embarrassing doctors visit later.
Implications
Some STDs are just a nuisance, while others will change, and possibly shorten your life. Herpes will stay with you forever, and explaining this to future partners is embarrassing, and will likely end up with you getting fewer dates. AIDS is treatable, but not curable. You can be charged with assault or attempted murder in some states if you have this and knowingly spread it.
Swinging Courtesy
When it comes to the swinging courtesy, you will need to make sure that you understand the different types of swinging that is out there. It is also a good idea to make sure that you and the other people that you are swinging with are all on the same page. This is something that will help to make the entire experience a lot more pleasurable and comfortable.
Soft Swap
For those that are not sure if they are comfortable with full on swinging, there is the soft swap. Basically, what the soft swap is is when couples will experience in heavy petting with other partners with their own partners in the room. They may also only have sex with their own partner while another couple is also having sex in the same room. Oral sex with other partners is another option with a soft swap.
Hard or Full Swaps
A hard or a full swap is basically having sex with other people with your partner in the same room. Some couples prefer for their partner to not climax while they are engaging in sexual activities with other partners. They will need to stay close by so that they can be there to help their partner to fully climax. This can be tricky so you will need to be sure that you and your partner both are able to time it just right so that there are no accidents. Make sure that the other people that you are swinging with know what you expect and you know what they expect out of the experience.
How to approach a partner about swinging
If you are into swinging but are not sure if your partner is, then this can be awkward at first. You will find that people that are not into swinging or are not familiar with it tend to look down on it only because they do not understand it. There are several different things that you can do to make sure that you bring the idea of swinging up to your partner in a way that does not scare them off.
Bring it up
The first thing that you should do is bring it up in passing to your partner. Make sure that you pay close attention to how they react whenever you do mention the act of swinging to them. Being able to read your partner’s reaction will let you know how to move on to the next step in how to bring it up to them.
Understand the Others Needs
Once you have both decided that swinging is something that you wish to try, it is time to set some ground rules. You will find that you both need to know what you are looking for in swinging partners. You will also need to make sure that your partner is going to be comfortable with this after the fact. People that cannot handle swinging tend to not stay in the relationship afterwards. It may be something that you and your partner need to talk through in length before you are able to move forward in actually doing the act.
Can Friend Work in a Relationship – What to Expect
It’s actually not uncommon for friends to develop in to something more. A close friend is someone whom you feel comfortable around, and feel like you can share anything. After time, the feelings of just friendship fade and lead to more intense emotions. If this is happening, here’s what you should know.
Understand Your Friend
You may have feelings that move beyond friendship, and they may not. Before you approach this subject and risk making the friendship awkward, take a little time to reassess. If your friend has traditionally been attracted to people who are the complete opposite of you, it may not work out. Of course, feelings that are intense can end up breaking our notions of what we want, but we can’t rely on the other person thinking this too.
The Talk
When you decide to tell your friend you have feelings, you need to be prepared for them to not express those back. If you don’t think you can handle this, it’s best to hold off before you broach the topic. When you do have the conversation, be pleasant and be honest. Don’t come on too strong.
Expect Changes
When the friendship does cross in to new territory you need to expect some changes. The friendship can remain, but the relationship takes more importance. Your priorities will change as a couple, and some things that seemed simple will now be more complicated. The biggest mistake you can make is assuming that nothing but the title or status changes.
What is Swinging – Breaking the Myths
Swinging is an alternative lifestyle that involves having sex with other people while with a partner. In this practice most couples will both actively participate, but there are couples where only 1 person is involved in the swinging. Swinging can get a bad name though from those who don’t understand it, there are many tales and swinger stories a lot of it is made up, do some research and go in knowing your facts, you will then find it a lot easier to join in.
Myth 1 – It’s Not Safe
Many people assume that swinging is dangerous and can lead to STDs and other diseases. When practiced properly this isn’t an issue. Most swingers clubs and parties have strict rules about using protection, and many will want to see recent documentation that both parties are disease free.
Myth 2 – Swinging is Just Cheating
No, swinging is not cheating. Swinging is a lifestyle that both people must want to be involved in before it will work. Yes, swingers do have sex with other people, but it’s typically only when they are both involved.
Myth 3 – Swingers are Liars
Another common misconception is that swingers are liars. It’s not clear where this myth comes from, but it’s not true. Swingers don’t sneak around in the dark having sex with numerous partners behind their partners back. If anything, swingers have to be completely open and honest to pull off this lifestyle without causing further issues.