Monkey Butt Junction

I knew it was just a matter of time, but Jack has finally discovered the wonder that is Thomas the Train.  It started in Solvang, California where he saw his very first Thomas display.  The wooden tracks were mesmerizing, and the little trains with faces?  Too much.  The kid LOVES vehicles with faces.  After playing with each and every train in the display no less than forty times, we finally left the store with a brand new Thomas engine in tow.

He loved his Thomas but didn’t think too much of him until this week, when his Uncle Ian sent him a new Thomas character this week.  It was like the floodgates had opened.

“Mommy!  Thomas Train.  Thomas Train.  Train.  Mommy?  Thomas Train.  Train train train.  Mommy?  Look.  Thomas.”

Thomas watches you sleep at night. Sleep tight!

And so on.

This delighted my husband to no end.  A train enthusiast himself, I think he has been planning Jack’s first train set since before Jack was even conceived.  Probably before we even met, actually.  As soon as Jack started to really take an interest in Thomas the Train, he immediately went into action.

“We need a train table.  And more track.  And we have to evaluate our options.  Do we want wood track?  Plastic track?  Which trains will we start him on?  The wooden ones?  What about the talkers?”  My husband’s eyes lit up with excitement.

Who is this train stuff for again?

Friday night we found ourselves at Toys-R-Us educating ourselves on the various styles of Thomas the Train.  We found a HUGE Thomas set – Adventures in Sodor. I was even impressed: it had a bunch of engines, plenty of track, a neat crane, a wheelhouse, and lots more.  I’m a self-described cheapskate, but even the $99.00 price tag seemed too good to be true – that was a LOT of stuff for a hundred bucks.  The train cars alone would have been about $60.00 had they been purchased separately.

When something seems too good to be true, it usually is, right?  This was the last Adventures in Sodor set they had on the shelf, and with much trepidation we took it to the register, convinced the price was a mistake.

And it was.

The set was actually on sale for $49.95.  SCORE!

Back at home, my husband happily opened and assembled the trains and tracks, and Jack stayed up until ELEVEN that night playing with his Thomas the Train set.  I spent the evening basking in the glow of a great bargain.  The next morning, the first words out of his mouth were “Thomas Train!” and all day we’ve heard about nothing besides Thomas.  And he doesn’t even realize that Thomas is also a cartoon yet!

Thomas the Train has taken over my life.

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Filed under Lighter Side

Okay, more than a touch of the flu. The flu has taken this family OUT this week. It started last week, but instead of getting better it got worse and worse. We’re learning how to roll with it and deal with it. Now we just need to start feeling well enough to get the house cleaned, too.

Before we get on to the journal this week, has everyone seen these yet?

(Click the picture to enlarge and see the details)

(Click the picture to enlarge and see the details)

I can’t lie, I probably harbored some of those prejudices against homeschooling before my son was born – especially the little girl in the bottom picture with the “1+1=3″ chalkboard.  Now that I know more families with kids – families who have the same kinds of beliefs and ideals that my family does – those stereotypes and prejudices have all faded away.  Funny how that works, isn’t it?

In my life this week…

I read a really interesting piece by a mom whose kindergartener decided that she wanted to go to public school.  Mom had planned for, prepared for, and was absolutely intent on homeschooling her daughter, and her daughter had other plans.  I never thought of that possibility, but I guess I need to open my mind to the idea that my little strong-willed man may make a decision like that in his future, despite my own wishes and desires.

In our homeschool this week…

For our lessons this week, we’ve slowed down a little bit because we’ve all been so sick.  Well, I exaggerate when I say we’ve all slowed down.  The adults have slowed down.  The toddler is still at full steam.  Our lessons haven’t been as structured because I haven’t had it in me while I’ve been sick, but we’re still reading books like they are going out of style.  Jack has been surprising me by correctly identifying a lot of letters that we haven’t learned together yet.  We started at the beginning of the alphabet, but he is pointing out S, P, W, X and more with perfect accuracy.  I’m not actually sure where he picked those up, but I’ll take it.

I’ll also admit that the iPad came into play a lot this week.  I usually try to limit iPad time, but we were just too sick to be doing too much active play with Jack and while he’s content to play with his cars and trains for hours, he needed a little change of pace too.  This has not been a fun week for him, either.  The neat part about his extra iPad time is the proficiency that he’s developed with some of his educational apps.  He is a master of all of the puzzles on his farm app, and he’s found games and sections of the app that I didn’t know existed.

Playing in the virtual barnyard

Questions/thoughts I have…

I asked this one on my Facebook page, but I’ll present it here as well:  what are your thoughts on attending a homeschool conference if you are still on the fence about homeschooling?  Or if your child is very young?  I’ve heard positive responses – that it is a good learning experience, that you can take away a lot from the conference even if you aren’t currently homeschooling, etc., but I’d love to hear more opinions.  There’s a homeschool conference coming up in May and we might take the trip to attend it if it seems like a worthwhile thing to do.

Have a safe and healthy week, everyone!

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Filed under Homeschool?

Welcome to the February 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Respectful Interactions With Other Parents

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have focused on how we can communicate with other parents compassionately.

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Let me start off by saying that I write this post as someone who has a lot to work on in regard to the topic of this post.  I spent a long time being Judgey McJudgerson, side-eyeing every parenting decision that didn’t meet my misplaced ideals, and gossiping about those decisions with my e-friends.  I’m not that person any more, but I still have my moments.  Writing this post is one part catharsis, one part reminder for myself.

Natural parents are a passionate bunch.  We pride ourselves on the amount of research, forethought and education that goes into our parental decision-making.  We do not blindly rely on the advice of a friend, neighbor or doctor without running it by our “tribe” of like-minded mamas to see what they would do.  We even take our doctors’ advice with a grain of salt, preferring to rely on age-old wisdom and tried-and-true home remedies whenever possible.  Maybe it is because of all of this extra effort that we also tend to be the quick to criticize, to judge, or to have a harsh word for a fellow mom who is just trying to do what she feels is best for her child, based on her own experiences and knowledge.

All moms have a fear of being judged, of making a decision that makes others call our parenting skills into question.  Making all of the right decisions all of the time means you love your child, right?  No pressure there.  The American Psychological Association recognizes that trying to be “supermom” is a significant source of stress for women.  Yet here we are, moms ourselves, putting the pressure on one another by those side-eyed glances, those snarky comments, and sometimes an outright “I would never” type of commentary on someone else’s parenting choices.  If you think that you don’t do this, ask yourself how you’ve responded in the past to some hot-button parenting issues.  (Need some inspiration on that one?  Think: circumcision, nursing in public, vaccination…need I go on?).  Nearly all of us do it, there’s no doubt.  And at some point, our well-intended concern over the parenting decisions that others make becomes nothing more than disrespect of another human being and her choices.

I don’t preach this from an ivory tower, not by any means.   A quick look through my blog archives will reveal a number of embarrassingly judgmental posts.  As natural parents, we are all about fostering respectful relationships with our children.  How can we pretend to do that if we can’t lead by example?

Call yourself out on your attitude.  I actually used to have a post category on my blog called “judgmental posts.”  I’m not proud of those.  At the time they were humorous to me, but as I have matured as a parent and as I have continued to embrace natural parenting ideals I am actually a little embarrassed at how judgmental I used to be.  Yet I will not delete those posts because they are a reminder to me of what I don’t want to be as a parent.  By acknowledging what I was doing, and calling myself out on it, I am less likely (or so I hope) to be so judgmental in future interactions.

Remember that we’re all in this together.  We really are.  My family may be raising one son, but my son is going to interact with other children and adults, and will likely have a big influence on at some people.  And those people will have big influences on him.  While we are only directly responsible for one little person, we aren’t living in isolation – we have a vested interest our friends and acquaintances and their lives.  Instead of treating parenting like a race with only one winner, we need to treat it like a team sport.  When we all succeed, we all win.

Maybe you really did catch her at her worst.  I know I’ve certainly had a few parenting moments – very public ones – that I haven’t been proud of.  I have been the mom threatening to take away all of her eighteen month old son’s toys while he threw his fifth very public tantrum at Target on a night when I was tired and stressed out.  I’m usually not like that.  At my best, I’m using gentle tones to talk my son through an upset or a tantrum.  I’m talking with him, not to him, and we’re communicating in a way that meets his needs and fosters a healthy relationship.  I’m proud of those moments.  At my worst, though, I’m not winning any parent of the year awards – I’m winning horrified looks from my fellow Target shoppers.  When you see someone do something you would never do, take a step back and remember that you may have seen that mom at her worst.  It happens to all of us.

But don’t be afraid to gently offer advice, if asked or given the opportunity.  Some parenting decisions are made out of a place of ignorance.  My son is circumcised ONLY because I was not at all educated on the topic before he was born.  Every time the topic of circumcision comes up, I struggle with that decision.  I feel awful about it.  The only thing I can take solace in is the fact that I just didn’t know.  If you are given the opportunity to educate, offer advice, or steer someone towards a gentle parenting perspective, don’t be afraid to do so, but do it from a place of love and concern.

And know when to intervene.  There is a big difference between being judgmental to no end, and stopping someone from doing something harmful to their child.  In your heart you’ll know when you need to do the right thing.

What’s your take?  Is it possible to be judgmental and constructive at once?  What do you do when you witness a parenting decision or approach that is totally against your own parenting philosophies?

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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon February 14 with all the carnival links.)

• How to Respond Respectfully to Unwanted Parenting Advice and Judgment — At Natural Parents Network, Amy (of Peace 4 Parents) offers some ways to deal with parenting advice and criticism, whether it’s from your mom or the grocery store clerk.
• Judgement is Natural – Just Don’t Condemn — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shared her views on why judgment is unavoidable and why the bigger issue is condemnation.
• Four Ways To Share Your Parenting Philosophy Gently — Valerie at Momma in Progress shares tips for communicating with fellow parents in a positive, peaceful manner.
• When Other Parents Disagree With You — Being an attachment parent is hard enough, but when you are Lily, aka Witch Mom, someone who does not enforce gender roles on her kid, who devalues capitalism and materialism, and instead prefers homeschooling and homesteading — you are bound to disagree with someone, somewhere!
• Mama Bashing — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud reflects on the hurt caused on the blogosphere by mama bashing and pleads for a more mindful way of dealing with differences.
• Accentuate the Positive — Joella at Fine and Fair shares how she manages interactions with the parents she encounters in her work as a Parent Coach and Substance Abuse Counselor by building trusting relationships and affirming strengths.
• The politics of mothers – keys to respectful interactions with other parents — Tara from MUMmedia offers great tips for handling the inevitable conflict of ideas and personalities in parenting/mother’s groups, etc.
• Trying to build our village — Sheila at A Gift Universe tells how she went from knowing no other moms in her new town to building a real community of mothers.
• Internet Etiquette in the Mommy Wars — Shannon at The Artful Mama discusses how she handles heated topics in the “Mommy-space” online.
• Parenting with Convictions — Sarah at Parenting God’s Children encourages love and support for fellow parents and their convictions.
• How To Be Respectful Despite Disagreeing On Parenting Styles… — Jenny at I’m a Full-Time Mummy shares her two cents’ worth on how to have respectful interactions with other parents despite disagreeing on parenting styles.
• Public Relations — Momma Jorje touches on keeping the peace when discussing parenting styles.
• Navigating Parenting Politics — Since choosing an alternative parenting style means rejecting the mainstream, Miriam at The Other Baby Book shares a few simple tips that can help avoid hurt feelings.
• Hiding in my grace cave — Lauren at Hobo Mama wants to forget that not all parents are as respectful and tolerant as the people with whom she now surrounds herself.
• Carnival of Natural Parenting – Respectful Interactions with Other Parents — Wolfmother at Fabulous Mama Chronicles explores how her attitude has changed regarding sharing information and opinions with others and how she now chooses to keep the peace during social outings.
• Empathy and respect — Helen at zen mummy tries to find her zen in the midst of the Mummy Wars.
• Not Holier Than Thou — Amyables at Toddler in Tow muses about how she’s learned to love all parents, despite differences, disagreements, and awkward conversations.
• Nonviolent Communication and Unconditional Love — Wendylori at High Needs Attachment reflects on the choice to not take offense as the key to honest and open communication.
• Respectful Parenting As a Way of Life — Sylvia at MaMammalia writes about using her parenting philosophy as a guide to dealing with other parents who make very different choices from her.
• Homeschooling: Why Not? — Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling shares how parents can often make homeschooling work for their family even if, at first glance, it may seem daunting.
• If You Can’t Say Something Nice… — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells her philosophy for online and offline interactions … a philosophy based primarily on a children’s movie.
• Different Rules for Different Families — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children discusses how differences between families affect our children, and how that can be a good thing.
• Respectful Interaction With Other Parents — Luschka at Diary of a First Child shares the ways she surrounds herself with a like-minded support network, so that she can gently advocate in her dealings with those whose opinions on parenting differ vastly from her own.
• Parenting as a mirror — Rather than discrediting others’ parenting styles, Kate Wicker discusses why she tries to focus on doing right rather than being right — and why she’s also not afraid to show others that she’s a heartfelt but imperfect mama just trying to be the best mom for her family.
• The One Thing {Most} Parents Have In Common: They Try Their Best — Christine at African Babies Don’t Cry finds interacting with other parents easier once she accepts that they are all just trying their best, just like her.
• Finding your mama-groove: 5 ways to eliminate judge/be judged metality — MudpieMama reveals 5 ways of thinking that have helped her find her mama-groove and better navigate tricky parenting discussions.
• Speaking Up For Those Who Can’t — We’ve all had those moments when someone said something hurtful or insensitive, or downright rude that just shocks you to your core, and you’re stunned into silence. Afterwards, you go home and think “Gosh, I wish I said…” This post by Arpita at Up Down, And Natural is for all the breastfeeding mamas who have thought “Gosh, I wish I said…”
• Thank you for your opinion — Gaby at Tmuffin shares her go-to comment when she feels like others are judging her parenting style.
• Mending — A playground conversation about jeans veers off course until a little mending by Kenna at Million Tiny Things is needed.
• The Thing You Don’t Know — Kelly at Becoming Crunchy talks about what she believes is one of the most important things you can consider when it comes to compassionate communication with other parents.
• 3 Tips for Interacting with Other Parents Respectfully When You Disagree with Them — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares what she has learned about respectful interactions on her parenting journey.
• Peacefully Keeping My Cool: Quotes from Ana — How do you keep your cool? Ana from Pandamoly shares some of her favorite retorts and conversation starters when her Parenting Ethos comes into question.
• Kind Matters — Carrie at Love Notes Mama discusses how she strives to be the type of person she’d want to meet.
• Doing it my way but respecting your highway. — Terri from Child of the Nature Isle is determined to walk with her family on the road less travelled whether you like it or not!
• Saying “I’m Right and You’re Wrong” Seldom Does Much To Improve Your Cause… — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment writes about how living by example motivates her actions and interactions with others.
• Have another kid and you won’t care — Cassie of There’s a Pickle in My Life, after having her second child, knows exactly how to respond to opposing advice.
• Ten Tips to Communicate Respectfully, Even When You Disagree — What if disagreements with our partners, our children or even complete strangers ultimately led to more harmony and deeper connections? They can! Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares ten tips to strengthen our relationships in the midst of conflict.
• A Little Light Conversation — Zoie at TouchstoneZ explains why respect needs to be given to every parent unconditionally.
• Why I used to hide the formula box — Laura at Pug in the Kitchen finally talks about how judgement between parents changed her views on how she handles differences in parenting.
• Assumptions — Nada at minimomist discusses how not everyone is able to nurse, physically, mentally, or emotionally.
• Shushing Your Inner Judgey McJudgerson — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction knows that judging others is easy to do, but recognizing that we all parent from different perspectives takes work.
• Respectfully Interacting with Others Online — Lani at Boobie Time Blog discusses the importance of remaining respectful behind the disguise of the internet.
• Presumption of Good Will — Why — and how — Crunchy Con Mommy is going to try to assume the best of people she disagrees with on important issues.
• Being Gracious with Parenting Advice — Tips for giving and receiving parenting advice with grace from Lisa at My World Edenwild.
• Explain, Smile, Escape — Don’t know what to do when you’re confronted by another parent who disagrees with you? Amy at Anktangle shares a story from her life along with a helpful method for navigating these types of tricky situations (complete with a handy flow chart!).
• Balancing Cultures and Choices — Dulce de leche discusses the challenges of walking the tightrope between generations while balancing cultural and family ties.
• Linky – Parenting Peacefully with Social Media — Hannabert’s Mom discusses parenting in a social media world.

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Filed under Natural Parenting

Want an easy week of dinner plans?  How about five days of cheap, easy, and really tasty recipes? {<=== Click to Tweet!}

We’ve been sick.  All week.  Colds, flu and general misery has taken over the house.  Because this sickness came right after a long vacation, I didn’t feel right taking time off of work to recover, so I schlepped my sick self to my office every day and returned home, exhausted each night while leaving my sick husband to care for our sick toddler all day.  Far from ideal.  The last thing any of us wanted when I got home was to fuss over dinner.

Hello, crockpot.  I received a wonderfully simple crockpot cookbook from my mother-in-law: the “Fix-it and forget-it Christmas Cookbook” by Phyllis Pellman Good.  Despite it being called a Christmas cookbook, the recipes are absolutely year-round classics, and they range from soups to meals to drinks and even desserts.  Amazon is selling it for about ten bucks – with over 600 recipes, it is worth twice that.

For the entire week of dinners, we used:  a bag of carrots, a bunch of celery, one whole chicken, a half of a package of chicken thighs, half a bag of potatoes, a premade pie crust, a little milk, a can of tomatoes, tomato paste, some cheese, a can of cream of chicken soup, some seasonings, and little else.

Monday night’s crockpot meal is one that I love because it provides the base for three full meals:  crockpot whole chicken.  The recipe is ridiculously easy, and it makes the chicken so moist and tender.  Chop an onion or a few carrots and place them at the bottom of the crockpot.  Take a whole chicken, rinse it and remove the giblets, and prepare a rub using paprika, pepper, and garlic salt, and rub it all over the chicken.  (And improvise all you want with those spices – I use different spices and different amounts each time and it is always good).  Put the crockpot on high for 4-5 hours.  There’s no need to add any liquid, the chicken will take care of that.  I always test the internal temperature on chicken, just to be sure.  We serve it with brown rice and a side of veggies.

Once we are done eating what we want off the chicken, I remove all of the chicken from the bones and save it for the following day.  I use half of it for Tuesday night’s meal, easy chicken soup:  cut 6 carrots and 6 stalks of celery and cook in chicken broth until tender (I use boulion cubes for flavor.  I’ll make my own stock someday).  Add the chicken and egg noodles, and viola – chicken soup.  Simple and so good.

For Wednesday, the remaining chicken becomes a chicken pot pie.  I use a premade, roll-out crust, and to fill it I use a can of cream of chicken soup, and either a bag of frozen mixed veggies or some fresh veggies and the rest of the chicken, cubed small.  I season it pretty liberally with pepper.  Bake 35-40 minutes until the crust is brown.

Pretty sick of chicken by now?  Time for change.  Thursday night is creamy potato soup.  The recipe is simple, made with things we normally have on hand.  The prep time was brief and the results were amazing.  Peel and chop 3 cups of potatoes, 1/2 cup of chopped celery, 1/2 cup of chopped carrots, and put into the crockpot with a cup of water, 2 cubes of chicken bouillon, some parsley, salt and pepper.  Cook on high for three hours or until the veggies are tender.  Combine one and a half cups of milk with 2 tablespoons of flour (I put them in a jar with a tight-fitting lid and shake, shake shake) and add to the mix, stir, and let cook