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New Tactics and Strategies in Dating

June 27, 2010 By Emme Leave a Comment

Post the Germany vs England footie match this morning (Sorry England … Germany, I’m raising a pint of coffee to you), I was still watching the CBC, and Peter Mansbridge started exploring the growing concern over obesity in society, especially with young people. Seems a fair bit of the concern is for increased health issues as overweight young people grow older and greater levels of concern in looking after themselves as they become seniors. I listen to this and I glance down at my round belly, something I never had until this year.

Week One: The Beginning Shot to the New Year's Resolution

Some of you will remember my New Year’s Resolution to tone this up for my own well being, and will also remember that that DOESN’T mean dieting, but rather healthy living – good food, fresh air and exercise. The good food part comes easily to me. Unlike concern over increased consumption of processed food on the CBC, I was brought up on home cooking and have taken that into my adult life. Where I’ve been struggling is that although I grew up outdoors, more and more I spend my days working in sedentary conditions at a computer, and whilst I started the year out with a healthy dose of fresh air and exercise, that went downhill with the month long Olympic Party, fueled with a healthy dose of hops and barley. So as I revisited my Wheel of Life with my personal coach, Jennifer Priest, the other week, I noticed that I am still struggling to find a healthy balance in fun and recreation (which I consider to include exercise) and romance. And I think the two go hand in hand. I need to get OUT and be active way more than I am.

My Wheel of Life: January 2010

Some of you will recall that I’ve been experimenting with online dating for the past year or so, and whilst I was meeting some lovely men, it wasn’t really working for me. Partially because I am a romantic and this was a rather contrived way to meet people, and partially because I spend my days working online and the last thing I want to do at night is to go back to the computer to create a personal life for myself. It wasn’t working and I told Jennifer as much in our last session. She had some great alternative suggestions.

A few ideas of Jennifer‘s to get me OUT and active and meeting people all at the same time are to:

Go to the Driving Range after work and hit a few balls.
Find a Hiking Group and join them for weekend hikes.
Go for a walk on my own or borrow a friend’s dog to take for a walk and actually make eye contact, smile and say ‘hello’ to people when I am out and about (scary concept for the VanCity cats, I know).
Join a Team Sport, with people I don’t know, like beach volleyball or dragon boating.

Not so outdoorsy, but goes well with the non-processed food, healthy eating part of my New Year’s Resolution, Jennifer also suggested singles cooking classes. Definitely trying that one out.

Loving these ideas! Especially as they get me outdoors and active and outside my comfort zone of my true blue friends (whom I love and adore, but am very quickly becoming the crazy spinster aunt to all their children). Off to try my first one today (after the footie match that just started). Found a hiking group and am going on my first hike with them. Wish me luck!

Kisses,

Emme xoxo

Filed Under: All the Gossip, Contests, Meeting Mr. / Ms. Right (or Right Now), Personal Coaching, relationships Tagged With: 2010 world cup, CBC, dating, dating strategies, dating tactics, football, footie, fresh air and excercise, germany vs england, healthy lifestyles, internet dating, Jennifer Priest, life coach, meeting mr right, meeting people, meeting that someone special, New Year's Resolution, obesity, online dating, overweight, peronal coach, Peter Mansbridge, relationships, sedantary, soccer, too much time on the computer, wheel of life, world cup

Am I Balanced?

June 12, 2010 By Emme 2 Comments

I now what you’re thinking – “no” “of course not” “is that even a question” All I can say is – “HOW RUDE!!!” I was trying to be reflective and introspective for once! hmph!

A few of you that have been reading for awhile, will know that I have been seeking balance in my life for sometime and have spent the past year working with personal coach, Jennifer Priest, to achieve just that. (because goodness only knows I can’t help myself – I say that facetiously, as the reality is that coaching only works if you are willing to help yourself – sort of like going to the gym).

Jennifer has been wonderful and has brought me a long way from where I was a year ago. I now have a much clearer picture of what I’d like in life, my work world is coming together nicely (and although I still work too much, I am leaving behind my days as a struggle artist), I think about what “I” need and consciously remember that things like good food, exercise and sleep are all things that make me tick and that I need to function effectively. And I take time for me now.

Am I balanced though? Somethings still feel like they’re missing and although I’m happy, I don’t think I am at the end of this journey. So Jennifer did a little exercise with me. She told me to imagine my life as a wheel broken into 8 equal segments. Each segment represented a different aspect of my life – Physical Environment, Career, Money, Health, Friends & Family, Significant Other / Romance, Personal Growth and Fun & Recreation:

Wheel of Life

I was then supposed to consider each segment and how satisfied I was with it. Well let’s just say that my wheel looked a little wonky. No wonder I was getting where I want to be, as I don’t think it could roll:

My Wheel of Life: January 2010

My personal environment was a mess (my Dad would have been horrified) – unpacked boxes were everywhere from a move two years before, dishes were in the sink, I hadn’t added any personal touches, and my bedroom still looked like that of a university student (aka no ‘real’ bed). My career was taking off, but the money wasn’t there and I was seriously close to burning out. There were plenty of men vying for my attention, but I had absolutely no interest in being in a relationship (there really wasn’t the space for it in my life). And although I wanted fun & recreation and health, the two really went hand in hand, and although I’d have spurts of these, it was in the form of a binge eater, all or nothing. About the only fully functional segments of the wheel were friends & family and personal growth – so whilst filled with love and challenges, this was not enough to make the wheel roll.

The past five months, I’ve been tackling this beast of a wheel trying to fix it, which is why my writing has been somewhat spotty from time to time. Here’s what I’ve achieved:

Most of the time now, I don’t stress out over friends spontaneous visits to my doorstep, as the house is generally presentable. And for the first time in my life, at the age of 35, I own my first adult bed.
My career is moving in a positive and much more manageable direction, mainly due to finally accepting the help of others and working as a part of a team.
Whilst the nest egg still hasn’t been built, financial matters are being sorted and I don’t need to keep my fingers in so many pies to make ends meet.
Only just started to augment the regime of fun and entertainment and activities just for me with the onslaught of the sunshine. Feeling fantastically healthy, as a result. Very much hoping this is not simply one of my binges.
As for the romance – still working on that category, but I feel more ready.

My Wheel of Life: June 2010

Thank you Jennifer!

Thank you Earth Hour!

March 28, 2010 By Emme 4 Comments

I am a lucky gal! I have an incredible coach, wonderful family, and caring friends. All of whom have been telling me for weeks that I need to slow down and take time for me. And I always mean to heed their advice and do just that, but theres always something that needs doing, something that can’t wait. Yes, it could wait an hour or two or a day or two, but I rarely ever acknowledge that (along with remembering the word ‘no’ in my vocabulary).

Well, last night it had to all stop, at least for an hour, because it was Earth Hour – a time to shut down all of the electronics for at least an hour. And I’d written about healthy ways to spend the hour, so should I not follow my own advice. At 9:10, I began the ritual of turning off all the power (aside from the heat and the refrigerator) and I began to light candles. At 9:31, I shut down the iphone and by 9:35 I was climbing into a steaming hot bubble bath, basked in candle light. I brought absolutely nothing with me, aside from my digital camera.

Setting the Scene

So what does one do in a tub for an hour once you’ve finished photographing the scene? (Gentlemen – don’t answer that.) Well, I just lay there and soaked in the steaming hot water, bathed by the gentle flickering of the candlelight, and sipped on my wine. At first it seemed like an eternity. My mind kept racing to, “but I’ve got to get this done, oh and theres that story, and I should have already done that, better remember to put that on Monday’s schedule….” Then I became aware of how quiet the world was around me. My neighbours must be observing Earth Hour too. But what is that buzzing? That buzzing that is almost deafening. Dear God, is that the buzz of all the electricity that I didn’t turn off – the heat and the refrigerator? Wow, is it loud and incessant. Is it always there? And then, at long last, my mind turned off and I finally started to relax. Really relax and unwind. I could have spent the whole night there, had the bath water not turned cold. As it was, I was there for an hour and 20-minutes. An hour and 20-minutes of pure uninterrupted ‘me’ time. No phones, no emails, no tweets. And how did I feel? Incredible! I felt like a whole new person.

mmmmmm......

So aside from understanding just how much electricity I use as one person, which seems to be a rather greedy amount, I was reminded of how unhealthy the race paced, electronically driven world that I (we) live in is. So I am now going to make an attempt to honour my own Earth Hour once a week – either on my own or with a friend. And I have to say, I am really looking forward to it.

Finding My Way Home

February 18, 2010 By Emme Leave a Comment

Occasionally we all get a little lost. I’ve been lost for the past few months. I’ve been overwhelmed and for some reason I felt the need to reinvent myself, my look, my stories….

Photo by Lola May

I ‘ve felt like I was in a bit of a holding pattern, in which I’d been told we were being watched, in which people told me they had big expectations for me and some started telling me what they thought I should stand for, how they thought I should look. Generally, I’ve always gone with my gut and listened to my heart, but after a bad break up swept the carpet out from under my feet, I was left feeling totally lost. Not really sure who I was or who I wanted to be. Horrified at myself for having let myself fall into what clearly was an unhealthy and emotionally abusive relationship. How could I let myself do that again? Was there something wrong with me? Was there something I needed to fix about myself? Should I really trust myself and my own instincts? And admittedly, my writing poised a huge factor in our break up, so I started making it less of my personal story and more about the events whirling around me. And with that I started getting a little fluffy in my writing and occasionally a little tartish in my attire. In my mind, my writing has become a little flat and artificial and I’ve felt more than a little flat and artificial.

I get asked all the time, how I am going to make money with my writing? Where is my funding model? Well, I started writing for fun, to process my thoughts, and to grow as a person. When I moved it online, it was for inspiration and drive to finish my first novel. It was not to become a marketing tool or an advertisement, and while no one is paying me to write about this product or that, I do fear that that is what I am becoming.

Feeling especially like this with the Olympics, as Brie and Mario and I decided to let as many people as possible know about the fun and free of the Olympics. So we’ve been trying to collect as much content as possible and firing it up as quickly as possible. I’ve gotten tired and the story has really suffered. Has it been a complete waste? No. It has been a good training ground for Mario and an extremely good reminder to Brie and I on what it is that we are doing. So I think we are going to regroup tonight on our 3 am team building trip to Grouse Mountain and remind ourselves of what this is really about. Having some fun and telling the story of the people we meet that help us to process our own stories in this wacky world. While yes, we may still mention the odd event at the Olympics, I don’t that our guide will be quite so full. Now the Olympic language guide on the other hand ….

And a huge thank you to my wonderful family and friends that are not afraid to tell me when they think I’ve lost my path (or, in the case of my family, are concerned that I have started to have dressing like a tramp).

Kisses,

Emme xoxo

My 2010 New Year’s Resolution

January 2, 2010 By Emme 11 Comments

Some of you may have noticed that the Autumn of 2009 got a wee bit unhealthy for me. I worked too hard and didn’t take care of me, despite reminders from Jennifer and Rob that my well being was the most important thing at the end of day. I did hear them, but their would always a more pressing matter that needed my attention whenever I’d scheduled ‘me time’, and as a result I ignored my needs. I didn’t get enough fresh air, exercise or eat as healthily as I normally do.

I am resolving to change this in the New Year. I have to change this in the New Year for my own health. You see, all that unhealthy living has resulted in my feeling quite uncomfortable, as my belly has grown uncomfortably large, and the good doctor tells me it is dangerous for ones heart to carry too much around your waist.