Real Life Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and I diagnose them on the blog. It’s part critique, part example, designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to Real Life Diagnostics, check out the page for guidelines.

Submissions currently in the queue: Eight

This week’s questions:

This is the beginning of my WIP, which is written in 3rd Person. I find it difficult to establish voice in 3rd Person, but it feels like the best POV for this story. Does this create a voice that is distinct enough to keep a reader engaged? Is there enough of a hook to keep you reading? I've also read that too much description about clothing is the mark of a novice writer, but shortly after this scene, the reader learns that Sameen and her uncle are ostracized by the prejudicial villagers because they look and dress differently. Is this brief description of the stranger's similar manner of dress too much, or will it help establish a natural connection between the two characters?

On to the diagnosis…

All stories need an antagonist, but not all stories have a villain. At least not in the literal sense of the word. I've talked recently about the man vs. self type bad guys, so today, let's talk about man vs. society. (and we'll wrap up the four basic conflict types next Friday with man vs. nature)

A great example of man vs. society is the recent movie In Time. It's a world where people have been genetically altered to stop aging at 25, with a one year advance on their lives after that. To continue living, then need to get more time. They work and get paid in actual time (as in it gets added to their lives). The rich live for centuries, the poor struggle with just days (or less) left. The hero is a poor guy named Will who is living hour to hour so to speak.