1. My name is really Sarah Moise-Young, not Jemima.
2. But it almost was. Daddy wanted to name me Jemima, but Mom said it rhymed with girl parts and I’d get picked on at recess.
3. She was probably right. She usually is.
4. I don’t have a Southern accent.
5. But I do say “Y’all.” A lot.
6. My husband, Simons, and I got married in Charleston, South Carolina in June 2006. Three months later, we packed up a ginormous U-Haul and drove to San Francisco, where we lived for three years. The dog barfed the whole time. We just moved back. I barfed the whole time.
7. I am a freelance writer.
8. I am always inventing great novels in my head and then promptly forgetting them. I carry around a tiny moleskine for just these occasions, but most of time, I forget where it is.
9. I can say “I love your pretty blue eyes” in Afrikaans.
10. I can run a hundred miles if the soundtrack is good enough.
11. I love watching movies I’ve seen a jillion times, even better than watching a new movie. My favorites are Pride & Prejudice, Bringing Up Baby, Box of Moonlight, A Room With A View, and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. And secretly, the Harry Potter movies…that Ron is just so cute.
12. I am self-absorbed;
13. But I am also obsessed with people’s feelings.
14. I love to cook.
15. I am Southern, so all my recipes begin, “First, take a stick of butter.”
16. I am always ordering gross things in restaurants. Never order what I order.
17. I am always knitting something, but it’s never for me.
18. I can’t do cartwheels, fold my tongue, or gleak.
19. But I can track about 25 species of African wildlife, build a fire, and in a pinch, I make Ndorobo poison arrows.
20. I always thought I would never get married, but now I confess, I really seriously love being married.
21. My parents have been married for 42 years. My husband’s parents have been married 40 years. We have good role models.
22. My husband has great dimples. That’s not technically About Me, but it kind of is. I have a thing for dimples.
23. My best friend is my sister. She’s amazing.
24. Sometimes being a freelance writer is hard and lonely and boring. And impoverishing (is that a word?).
25. Sometimes it is also amazing, like when clients let me taste wine or stay in fancy hotels. And when I get paid.
26. I love backpacking. I love not hearing cars or smelling smog or dealing with email. But sometimes, when I’m out there, I wish I weren’t. Usually, that is when the tent is smelly and I want to shave.
27. My favorite color is orange–bright, flaming orange.
28. I used to be vain about my feet. Now they are horrible thanks to a horse stomping on one and a surfboard whacking off the top of the other. Vanity is a scary thing. Let me not ever be vain about my teeth. Yea, gods.
29. I own a lot of yarn.
30. This makes me afraid of moths, even though I think they’re very pretty. Fortunately, the dog really, really, really likes eating them.
31. I am a scary driver. Scary GOOD! Move over, douchebags! (honks horn)
32. I used to ride horse. A lot. Like, a whole lot. Now when I watch riding on television, my calves get sore from “keeping my leg on.” This is annoying. Why are horse so expensive?
33. I can do a mean headstand.
34. I once fell in a crevasse in Canada. That was awesome, but only because I didn’t go very far.
35. I miss San Francisco, but home is pretty great. We have autumn here. And oyster roasts and bonfires. And warm beaches. And I can walk the dog without getting flashed.
36. I’m a Daddy’s Girl. Only my dad could make me willingly wake up at ungodly hours to venture into the cold, cold wintry predawn with the intention of shooting something. He always sneaks up on me and takes a photo of me sleeping. The deer are in no danger from me. Trust me on this.
37. I am a sucker for environmentally friendly beauty and cleaning products.
38. I only buy organic.
39. I am poor. See above.
40. I love to read. I think the best books are Delta Wedding, The Awakening, Cloud Atlas and anything by Ferrol Sams.
41. Mooches irritate me. Sometimes I am one. That irritates me.
42. It makes me homicidal when people use the word, “myself” without referring back to the first person. It should be me or I, not fucking myself. It makes ME want to stab MYSELF in the goddamn eyeballs.
43. Other than that, grammar and spelling issues amuse me. I am a nerd.
44. I worry that I have lead poisoning when I can’t remember things.
45. I like snakes. Not for a pet or anything creepy, just that I’m not scared of them. Spiders on the other hand…(shudder).
46. I like knowing the proper names for things, like flowers and trees and birds and rocks. I own a lot of Audubon books.
47. I’m always a little mussed.
48. I wish I were less snarky and more positive.
49. I miss my nieces.
50. If you don’t like my blog, don’t read it.