Our Desireable Illusion

I was reading The Future of an Illusion by Freud, and I’ve had some new thoughts. Humankind has developed abstract thinking through evolution. Because of this, we have mentally separated ourselves from the animal kingdom. We put ourselves above the other species and we live in complex societies. By doing this, we attempt to protect ourselves from the harsh and uncertain world we live in. Essentially, we are afraid of nature because we know that it has the power to overcome us. Earthquakes, storms, floods, fires, diseases (or as we now know, attacks from other organisms) all threaten our existence. Above all else, we fear our own inevitable death.

In this way, human kind feels helpless. There are no guarantees to our prosperity and we are frightened. We group together to help defend ourselves against the elements and protect one another from harm. We are like children, helpless and afraid. Freud says that instinctively we search for a fatherly figure to protect us. Our Father figure is all knowing and protecting. He is also loving and stern. In the same way that we were comforted by our parents when we were young, our fears are also put to rest by our Father; our God. We want God to say that if we behave we will be rewarded after our death.¹

This is why mankind developed religion. Humankind needs to believe in an outside force because we have removed ourselves from the natural cycles of nature. We tell ourselves there is nothing to fear, but in reality we are just as susceptible to disaster as we ever were.

Perhaps we are looking to far for our answer. Our minds are only capable of understanding a small part of the true reality. We have developed on Earth through evolution to live and thrive on this planet. Our collective mental systems that have been developed over history only give us limited power. We are alive, we are conscious, but what does this mean? Does our proverbial soul ever connect to our surrounding? Do we even have the capacity to understand who we are?

Despite our resistance to misfortune and death, bad things continue to happen. A religious person might ask God why he has brought suffering to the gentle. But what is misfortune and what is blessing? Who are we to be able to tell the difference? Is there even a difference between the two? Taoists believe that there is only the Tao, or flow of life. Perhaps there is no good and no evil. The truth is that we are here now. Life is unexpected and change is the only assurance. But why do we resist change?

We are afraid of death, even though nature and the seasons show us that death is both the end and the beginning of something new. A tree may fall over and die, but we soon see new life emerging from it’s seemly lifeless material. Insects feast on the flesh and help turn the tree into soil. Through the soil comes new sprouts and eventually trees. In this way, all life furthers new life. We are given a short time to live, and then we become part of the great flow from once we sprung. This is the Tao. Understanding this truth comforts me greatly. I am filled with peace and I am not afraid. We remain, all of us, scared children looking for their mommy’s and daddy’s to come comfort them.

_{1. Freud went as far as to say that people tend to be in relationships with people who fit their motherly or fatherly figures.}

Substitute my Coke for Gin

John Nelson once told me something that really stuck with me. I said, John you’re a great cook, you could do it professionally. He turned to me and said, never do what you enjoy for a living. I’m starting to see more truth in this. The more I do web design as a profession the less I feel like doing it as a hobby. I’m glad I’m keeping my options open.

I’m glad to say that I can now find fun and excitement in every season. Winter is rapidly approaching with shorter days and colder nights. I’m not discouraged, however. A few days ago when it was overcast and cool, I took a hike up through my mountains. The air smelled fresh and the colors of nature were accentuated by the moisture. I didn’t overheat nor get stuck with cumbersome thorns and brambles. I think we should find a perfect, cool overcast day with no chance of rain to take another hike to the top of Sonoma Mountain. Who’s interested in joining the expedition?

The Books

Did I mention the group “The Books” to any of you? They could be categorized as an “experimental acoustic” band, but it’s their unusual sound and lyrics that interests me. I regret posting song lyrics two posts in a row, especially if it makes me look like some emo livejournal addict. On the other hand, these compositions might inspire you. Here are the lyrics to “Smells Like Content”. I bolded the parts I found really interesting. If you’re getting this song, I also recommend “Tokyo” and “S is for Evrysing”. What do you make of this one?

Balace, Repition
Composition, Mirrors

most of all the world is a place
where parts of wholes are described
whithin an overarching paradigm of clarity
and accuracy
the context of which makes possible
an underlying sense of the way it all fits together
despite our collective tendancy not to concieve of it as such

but then again
the world without end
is a place where souls are combined
but with an overbearing feeling of disparity,
disorderliness
to ingnore is impossible
without getting oneslef
into all kinds of trouble
despite one’s best intentions
not to get entangled with it so much

and meanwhile the statues are bleeding green
and others are saying things
much better than we ever could
as the quiet becomes suddenly verbose

and the hail is heralding the size of nickles,
and the street corners are gnashing together
like gears inside the head
of some omnicient engineer
and downward flows the garnered wisdom
that has never died

when finally we opened the box
we couldn’t find any rules
our heads were reeling with a glut of possibilities,
contingencies
but with ever increasing faith
we decided to go ahead and just ingnore them
despite tremendous pressure to capitulate and fade

and the air’s witholding the sound
of its wellspring,
and our heads are approacing a density
reminiscient of the connectivity
of the center of the sun
and therein lies the garnered wisdom
that has never died

expectation leads to disappointment
if we don’t expect something big, huge, and exciting
usually, uh
i dont know, it’s just not as, yeah