Random Acts of Kindness Can Zap Bad Memories « The Accidental Cootchie Mama

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Random Acts of Kindness Can Zap Bad Memories

August 16, 2010 by Andra Watkins

Once upon a time, I knew this little house. It sits on a meandering country road on the back side of a rock quarry. Across the road, horses graze in a field that leads up to a view of a protrusion that isn’t quite a mountain but is certainly higher than a hill. I knew this little house because I lived in it when I was twenty-two.

It seems like a different person lived in this little house. In the short time I lived there, the walls saw things – the joys of a giddy newlywed who didn’t know what she’d gotten herself into; the trials of homesickness and worry; and the fracturing realization that I made a grave mistake that would take me years to build up the courage to undo; even more years, practically a decade, to grow up and learn from.

Still, I’m happy that I lived in this little house. As I drove through a town I detested today to see it again, I know that the unique path of my life as it is today arced through this little house. MTM certainly granted me an act of kindness to endure the drive out there, a slight detour from where we were headed.

I thought a lot about the past this week, because I was surrounded by it so much of the time. It was everywhere, sometimes hazy, sometimes vivid, but always there. It was a gift to make good memories in a place that was brimming with nothing but bad ones.

I got into a conversation with another blogger this week about the past. Her commentary on my blog about her own past was also a gift to me, because it isn’t easy to touch people who are strangers, especially by writing. Her blog entry about ideas for acts of kindness to others is a worthwhile read. Because this whole week was made possible by an act of kindness to me, I hope you will click over there and read it as an act of kindness to her.

It only takes a few minutes to perform an act of kindness for someone else. You never know when it might remake a bad memory.

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Posted in Good Deeds, life, personal, Personal Growth, writing | Tagged Blog, kindness, life, personal, Personal Growth, travel, writing | 17 Comments

17 Responses

on August 16, 2010 at 7:14 am | Reply Lou Mello

Thanks for inspiring me to keep trying to do better and be kinder, I went to the site and was really glad I did. She highlights all the things we can easily do and most of the time don’t make the effort to do. This makes my Monday a much better day as I will think about doing as many of these as possible this week.
- on August 16, 2010 at 8:16 am | Reply Andra Watkins
  
  My good deed for the week may be to remember those books.
on August 16, 2010 at 8:06 am | Reply Cheryl Smithem

My hope is thatwe all learn to comprehend that we are connected and that each act of kindness swirls like ripples and continues.

Andra, your open introspection and learning are so good for me. You share the truth, no matter where and how you find it. I like that most of all. Thank you!
- on August 16, 2010 at 8:18 am | Reply Andra Watkins
  
  I guess the best thing to come out of this blog project for me is to find that I can still learn, that I don’t know much. It hasn’t been easy, but somehow it’s been fun anyway.
on August 16, 2010 at 2:50 pm | Reply michael maher

From now on, we will pronounce it Le Noir (le nwahr), the black days long past, or an exotic French province we have now visited together.
- on August 16, 2010 at 2:52 pm | Reply Andra Watkins
  
  I prefer Le Noir! It is a totally fitting description for the black days long past.
- on August 16, 2010 at 2:52 pm | Reply Andra Watkins
  
  And after seeing those Broyhill buildings, you could never, ever compare it to any French province anywhere on earth.
  - on August 16, 2010 at 8:42 pm carnellm
    
    Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
    Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
    `Wretch,’ I cried, `thy God hath lent thee – by these angels he has sent thee
    Respite – respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
    Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!’
    Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.’
  - on August 16, 2010 at 8:45 pm Andra Watkins
    
    It is not fair to pun Shakespeare in an effort to usurp MTM, MIchael. Or the Bible. I actually did a whole series of cards in the mail to MTM one time that should be a blog post where he thought Will, but it was God.
  - on August 16, 2010 at 8:49 pm carnellm
    
    God, Shakespeare, Edgar Allan Poe. They are all the same to us English majors.
  - on August 16, 2010 at 8:50 pm Andra Watkins
    
    It IS EAP. How did I make that Shakespeare? It must be the Argentinian beverage we cleaned out of the broken fridge for dinner that is impacting my brain.
- on August 16, 2010 at 8:54 pm | Reply michael maher
  
  I am relieved that I have drawn out Monsieur Carnell with my mauvais jeu de mots…was worried that he thought Andra’s seemingly sentimental posts were not fair game.
  - on August 16, 2010 at 8:57 pm carnellm
    
    Well, as much as I do try to keep away from waxing the odd pun on her more maudlin posts, I do realize that any woman who will go to the North Carolina back woods and dig a hole large enough to bury herself must have a good sense of humor.
    
    And Andra, we shall forgive your misplacement of credit for the verse. Although, you did dig yourself quite a hole with that one.
  - on August 16, 2010 at 8:57 pm Andra Watkins
    
    I did it for you on Twitter. You should pay more attention to your Twitter account. That is the reason you are not invited to the Zia lunches.
on August 16, 2010 at 5:55 pm | Reply Topaz (Extraordinary in the Ordinary)

Oh, Andra, I am so touched that you mentioned my post. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

We actually did this once, too. It looked different than I remembered. I had seen it as a place full of hopes and dreams, but then looking at it later, I saw it for all that it really was. A place where a lot of bad things in my life happened. It was like it was two different places. Maybe, like you, it was me who had changed.

I love your posts. They are always so thought provoking.
- on August 16, 2010 at 8:30 pm | Reply Andra Watkins
  
  Except when they’re irreverently funny.
  
  It is so amazing to find people out there who have trod the same roads as me. When we rode by that house yesterday, I couldn’t imagine anyone doing something like that. Thank you for sharing that you did, too. It is good to grow, isn’t it?
  
  I am going to add your blog to my link list in a sidebar, and I’m going to keep you and your husband close in my prayers.
on August 18, 2010 at 12:07 am | Reply Topaz (Extraordinary in the Ordinary)

It IS good to grow! I have never been a fan of the “this is just how I am” way of thinking. I like to learn and grow.

Thanks so much for adding my blog to your sidebar! I feel so honored! It’s always such a gift to make connections when you are blogging, but when you make a connection with someone local, it seems even more of a blessing.

I added you to my sidebar, too! I just changed my theme last week and am still working out some bugs with it, but I found this awesome plugin last night that will let me know in my sidebar if the people in my blogroll have a new update on their blog! How cool is that! It’s an rss feed of the latest posts for the links in my blogroll.

Thank you, really, so much for the the prayers. It’s been a rough week, and I know prayers are the only way through the tough times. Trust me. It is a moment by moment walk.

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