So Then She...
Give the gift of good grammar this Valentine’s Day.
- Feb 10th, 2012
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“I am nauseatingly happy.”
- Feb 8th, 2012
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Instant Messaged
With a friend about plans this week.
Me: I’m going to give you such a wedgie on Thursday.
Her: You’re not going to come near me Thursday. I’m going to bring a tazor.
Me: I have never heard of a tazor.
Me: I hope it’s nothing like a taser.
Her: You knew what I meant. STOP CORRECTING ME.
Me: You spelled “correcting” wrong.
Her: No I didn’t.
Me: I know. But I made you look.
Her: You are so irritating.
- Tags
- I am so irritating.
- Feb 7th, 2012
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daywalkertalker:
The timeless art of seduction
Source daywalkertalker
- Feb 7th, 2012
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“It’s not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.”
Source daywalkertalker
- Feb 7th, 2012
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- bitches love leaves
- Feb 6th, 2012
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- 251 notes
Firmed up a date
Instant messaging with a date for later tonight.
Me: Just want you to know how special you are to me because I’m canceling my viewing party of the Bachelor for our date tonight.
Me: #TheMoreYouKnow
Her: I feel half awfully special but half concerned that you have a weekly Bachelor viewing party…
Me: Answers like that make me like you more. It’s technically a party of one. Basically, I sit around and yell at the TV. But it’s still in my Google calendar…
Her: Ha haaaaa
Me: I trust you’re laughing with me and not at me.
- Tags
- dating
- Feb 6th, 2012
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I need to be (virtual) friends with smarter individuals.
- Tags
- sigh
- Feb 5th, 2012
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- Feb 5th, 2012
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Texted
With an ex-fling.
Me: We are at an impasse.
Her: This is true. What do we do about this?
Me: Send me a picture of your nipple. I will do the same.
Her: That is not fair trade.
Me: Nip for nip? How is it unfair?
Her: Because seeing a guy’s nipple is like seeing a guy’s sideburn.
Me: No it’s not. Or else we’d have nipples on the sides of our faces.
- Tags
- dating
- texting
- Feb 4th, 2012
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I can do it. For Britney.
- Feb 3rd, 2012
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- 261 notes
This is the funniest thing I have read in a month.
Follow this man immediately.
daywalkertalker:
It’s a shitty, rainy day here in Manhattan and for the first time in a while I decided to stay shacked up in my office and have my lunch delivered to me. Little did I know that a mere 83 minutes later I’d feel terrible about myself and ultimately my decision making.
12:55- My stomach emits a…
Source daywalkertalker
- Tags
- do it
- dare you
- Feb 3rd, 2012
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Help a girl out, I'm pining hard for my friend's older brother. How do I get him to start seeing me as the 20 year old I am and not the little girl I was when we first met?
ladyfen
Put your hand on his thigh and leave it there for one second too long. If he freaks out, it prolly won’t ever happen. If he lets it be, you’re well on your way to changing his mind.
- Feb 3rd, 2012
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This. This is why you drink whiskey. Because this might happen.
- Tags
- And don't be a pussy and drink it chilled.
- Neat all the way.
- Feb 3rd, 2012
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This made me laugh and smile.
inherhazeleyes:
Having spent the past few weeks going through somewhat of an emotional time with someone in particular, I’ve been thinking a lot about myself as a person. What’s important to me? What are things I want in my life? What are things I can’t live without? Oddly enough, thinking about relationships…
Source inherhazeleyes
- Feb 2nd, 2012
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