Our Peace Path

Deuteronomy 29:4

I am new to Living with God in my Life.  Not new to praying, not new to knowing about God, but New to Trusting, Believing and Listening to God.  I am a newborn to faith.  One thing I have noticed since I have first started to Pray to God frequently, and most importantly, listening to God, is I have forgotten a lot of my past sins. Guess what!!!  God hasn’t!!!

I was driving the other day and while driving I was talking to God about the in ability for me to make up for the sins against him.  One of the main sins, Not trusting in God.  So I was asking Him to help me recognize his voice and understand when He is talking to me and it is not my brain trying to take over.  All of a sudden I felt the uneasy feeling of guilt, I was also reminded of my first marriage and my wedding day.  My first Marriage broke up with me broken and in pain many years ago.  It was one of the things that I have trained my mind to block out.  It was a memory that I did not want therefore it was dumped.

As I was driving I felt how nervous I was before the wedding, it was like I was there again.    I felt the ache in my stomach that I had on that day,  these were not butterflies, these were Eagles, there was not fluttering in my stomach there was talon ripping, beak slashing aching in my stomach.  I did not have cold feet, I had frozen body.  This was before I even got to the picturesque place that we chose for our small group of friends to meet us so they could witness our jump.

Once I got there, No one else was there, I was only about 15 minutes early someone should have been there.  Then God reminded me as I thought of this that I felt relieved at that moment in my past.  Most Grooms would have been heart broken, not me I remember feeling relieved.  Then the phone call, one of the brides friends telling me that they decided on this new place with beautiful flowers in bloom, so I started the truck back up and drove towards the place.

So here I was the other day, driving my car asking to learn how to Listen and Recognize Gods voice.  I am not going to say I had any visions or anything, but I felt everything I felt that day and at last as I remember what I was feeling as I pulled up to all my friends for my First Marriage, I heard, not in voice but in my heart god say, “If you won’t pay attention to me, I will be here when you understand.”

Here I was 20 years later, I quickly prayed, “Papa, Love, Amazing God.  Thank you for being here as I now understand.”

I understand that though the Lord I will make it though everything and anything that crosses my Path.  I do not have any fear or worries in my spirit while the Lord walks me down the path.  However, I see so much Pain and Anguish in those that I love.  Which leaves me to my own selfishness, and I am not to sure that this is a bad thing, So I will ask this and maybe someone will answer me.

Is it bad of me that I can not wait for the moment described in 1 thessalonians 5, and 1 Corinthians 15:51-53?  I know there are so many people on this planet that are not part of the Church that will be taken like a thief in the night.  So this is why I ask, am I wrong to look forward to that moment and pray for that to be NOW?  This world makes me so exhausted sometimes and even with the Holy Spirit assisting me along the way, I am ready!!!

I am new to Our Father, not that I just met Him, more like I have finally known Him.  I remember some of the major decisions in my life going though my head before I Knew The Lord.  I also remember hearing from my heart how to make those decisions, sometimes I listened to the voice in my heart and sometimes I didn’t.  This is what I am understanding after looking at the things in my past that have made me get close to the breaking point.  Every time that God spoke to my heart in the past was a life changing moment for me.  Not only do I remember what was going on in my head at those moments but I specifically remember what God was saying to me.  I do not regret anything, although I may have strolled off the path a couple of times in the past I am now on the path with Jesus and I know now that Praying is more Listening than Speaking!!!  You just need to understand how to listen.

This is the conclusion that I have come up with after replaying these situations in my memories, the things that are common when I ignored God are:

1. The easiest choice…  It was always the more Challenging Choice that God was telling me to do.  I used to say, “the easiest way is not always the best way.”  What I am understanding now with my walk with Jesus is – Its never the easiest Choice, God will want me to take the Challenge, God will want me to take on the choice that takes Courage, and God will want me to take on the choice that makes me stronger in faith!!!

2.  I always questioned my decisions.  I would make my choice, ignoring the voice to my heart and would always say to myself, “I hope I made the right decision.” or “I hope this doesn’t burn me in the end.”  Those decisions always burned me in the end and always made me think “What if?” after it burned me.

3. Guilt, There was always Guilt that followed ignoring God.   You know that feeling in your gut that makes you know that you shouldn’t have done that?  The Feeling that you are the smallest person on the face of the earth.  The fear that your parents would be disappointed in you if they saw what you just did…  Well Guess what, Our Father saw it, Our Creator, Our Protector, Makes me feel even guiltier now that I realize that.

So I have gotten to know God, I still have a lot of learning and understanding that I need. However, ever since I have started walking the path God has been bringing some of these situations to my mind.  I can instantly feel the guilt, But then I can feel the calm wash over me, the peace fill my heart and the voice of God say to me, “Don’t Worry, I LOVE YOU!!!  We will communicate better now!”

Acts 28:26-28

Talking to Ruth the other night I came across a realization that I have been blind in the past but now, that I am praying to understand God, I can now see.  It is human nature to live life looking to fill the emptiness in your life and no matter what you do you will not fill it.  I see this in our Oldest Daughter.  She feels unloved, unintelligent and unwanted.  Ruth and I continuously tell her that she is loved, smart and we love spending time with her.  Our Daughters response is always, “whatever,” (with a perfect eye roll)

My realization is this is one girl that feels unworthy of my love,  just like, not so long ago, I felt unworthy of Gods love.  I have also have gone from a very stressful life to realizing that as long as God is my source, protector and MY Father, the stress is gone.

So I now pray to the Lord that he promises that my household will be saved, and I pray for the Lord to show me, tell me and give me the ability to speak, show and act in a way that my Household will find Jesus and the emptiness they have will be filled with Jesus Christ the way it has been for me.

Acts 16:30-32

I have lived off of Faith for a very long time.  I have lived with the belief that no matter how hard life gets God will not place something in my way that I can not handle.  The key word here is “I” that is also my failure in the past.  I have had Faith that my path will have pot holes and I may need to climb some fallen trees or fend off some wild beasts, but it will be nothing that I can not handle.  Recently, I have been trying to work though some of these things, again, on my own.  I have failed many times, to the point where I believed I was on the wrong path.  This led me to ask for help, and since I have a wonderful wife in Ruth, She has asked for help also.  This is where I learned that my mistake in the past was not my faith, however, my company.  I am not suppose to walk the path alone.  I am not to fend off the beasts alone.  I will always have company on the path.  It can get pretty dark and scary on the path if you have no company.

Ruth and I were not married with Jesus in mind, this is neither of our first marriages, and none of the past marriages had Jesus in mind when they happened.  However, Ruth and I noticed that we were on similar paths and when you are fighting the world its always nice to have some one to assist you or encourage you.  So after our marriage I was walking the path with my beautiful bride, hand in hand and happy as could be.  We soon found out that our paths were the same direction and similar obstacles, but not identical.  It always seamed to work out, I make it though my Obstacle and then I encourage her though hers. She gets over hers and encouraged me.  Team work, that is what marriage was!!

The problem came when there was an Obstacle on my path and when I looked over to her for encouragement, I noticed another Obstacle in her path.  Encouragement and assistance did not come to either of us, since we were dealing with our own issues.  This is when we asked for help.  We talked to a counselor and it was a highly recommended Christian Counselor.  We both learned within the first few minutes we were going along this all wrong, why are we on our own paths and why are we alone?  That was when we first Prayed together.  It has been a few months since that has happened, and instead of two people on two paths, we are now 2 people on the same path with Jesus the Christ walking in front of us to clear the path for us.

As before I know there is not going to be anything in our path that we can’t handle, the difference now, Is WE know God is not placing Obstacles in our path, Jehovah Jireh will provide us what we need to make the journey together.

Gen. 22:14      I John 4:9      Philippians 4:19

TO: Ruth,

I am so excited to walk this path with you, I know with God as our Protector, Provider and Guide this will be nothing less than Amazing!!!

I love you,

Boaz

Proverbs 21:23

Ephesians 4:29

Today is a Day that I would like to live totally in thanks.  There have been many things in my life that could be looked at by most people, that are not on the path to Jesus, as tribulation and torment.  I have said in the past that I have a very loud voice, however, you may not know that one of my faults has also been a sharp tounge that has gotten me into trouble many times in the past.

Lately my prayers have been concentrating on the Demons attacking my household and helping me and my family calm our tounges.  Tongues are a dangerous muscle, they can cause more damage than any weapon on earth. 

Lord, Our Father, I just want to pray today to thank you, Thank you for calming my tounge in the attacks of others, Thank you for allowing me to hold my temper when it looked as though there was no way to avoid fighting, I am in awe that I did not have to resort to fight or flight, I thank you for the ability to stay calm without fighting to resolve the issue.

Lord, thank you for your Love although I do not deserve it and I look forward to more understanding and guidance though your son Jesus the Christ.

Amen

Psalm 34:13

and my new favorite – Proverbs 17:28

Proverbs 3:13-35

This is probably going to be the hardest thing for me on my path.  Wisdom I am unsure I will gain to much, its the understanding that I am having a lot of issues with.  I am a sinner and I know this and although I am Christian I am still a sinner.  The Wisdom that I believe I am learning now is that I can not control people and like the Lord Our Father, I can not force anyone to listen to me or believe that I know what I am talking about.  I can not keep placing the emotional needs that I have in other peoples decisions, I can not force understanding on those that will not accept it from me.  I will need to have God help me with this a lot. 

Our Father has given us free will and allows us to make our own decisions, I need to release the worry and fear in my life to allow those that I love to make their own decisions.  I will continue to pray for them and I will continue to offer them my council in certain situations, However, I must not force it upon them.  I must also understand that up until this point I have made many decisions though emotion and not faith in God, therefore I may be disciplined by God and I know, just like when I discipline my children, that God is doing it out of love. 

If you find this Blog and actually read this please add me to your prayers, Almost 40 years of decisions that were not based on faith and almost 40 years of sin in my life.  I know God will forgive me and I know that though Jesus I will be saved, however, certain Habits are going to be hard to break and I need the prayers to help me keep the faith though my own mental and emotional Tribulations.

Thank you for the unconditional Love Father, please teach that to my heart!!!

I am not known for my quiet voice, I am feared by many because of the deep loud voice that penetrates everyone around.  I have seen that this is a gift of mine and although I have the ability to raise my voice with a lot of Power, I am not using the voice properly. 

I do say it is a gift that I have, I know that I have the ability to penetrate peoples ears and gain their attention quickly with my voice.  What would it be like if I used this voice to penetrate peoples ears with kind words instead of angry words, or hurtful words. 

I am proud of who I am, however, I have a lot of work to do to make others proud of who I am.  Today I read Proverbs 29 and it reminded me of last night.  One of my daughters seamed to say only the wrong things to me, it was very upsetting, I was able to gain control quickly, but after one quick outburst I found myself in the bathroom on my knees asking for control. 

I hope I can recognize this sooner in the future and feel the calm that God gives me the instant I need it.

Proverbs 29:20

Lord, You have amazed me everyday and once again I am excited at the signs you allow me to see.  Thank you for holding my tongue, thank you for the calm that allows me to speak out without emotion.  I pray, Father, that you continue to guide me to speak when needed and teach me the language of silence.  Please give me the ability to teach this to my children though example.

Amen

I have added my first Prayer: ourpeacepath.com/2011/12/28/the-begining

My belief is that my path for peace is going to take a lot of work, not just The Word. However, this path begins with a lot of hurt and pain caused by words of those around me.  The gossip that surrounds me and my love ones is stronger than I have ever heard before and since some of the torment and fire of lies lands on the children of my life I am praying for the peace and strenght for them.

Know the Lord, Know the Peace…