All You Need is Love (and sometimes flowers)
Last week the world was filled with hearts and candy and flowers and love. But for me there is one more word that would best describe what my world was filled with: stress.
While some people view Valentine’s Day as an overly commercialized way to guilt people into spending money on frivolous gifts and expensive flowers, I have always viewed it as a sweet way to show someone you love them. And why not? What’s so wrong with having one day a year set aside to really say “I Love You” and do something special for the special people in your life? Nothing, in my opinion, and for that simple reason, I’ve always loved Valentine’s Day.
But this year, somewhere along the Valentine’s road, all the wheels fell off my love vehicle.
I think it all started when I decided that it would be fun for my kids to make these really intricate hand-made valentines for all the kids in their classes. After all, their mother’s an artist right? Shouldn’t she be able to help them put together some really special tokens of affection? Well, after the third hour of working on these little rascals, I was really wondering what I had gotten myself into. But that was just the beginning. I spent my Valentine’s Day delivering supplies to the school party, creating little goody bags for my husband and two kids, grocery shopping for a gourmet meal, working on my art and blog, and then after picking the kids up from school, heading home to create a fabulous Family Valentine’s Celebration. Whew! No sweat, right? I can be SuperWoman if I want to! Right? Right? Hello?
Well, as you can probably guess, it didn’t really go as planned. I was tired and stressed, not to mention feeling a little bit sorry for myself, and so when my husband finally got home and walked in with, um, no flowers… let’s just say that it did not go over very well. No flowers? NO FLOWERS? Not even a cheesy box of candy? (never mind that he did have a Valentine’s card for me with a lovely handwritten sentiment and never mind that he is always the most amazing gift giver, so clearly I’m spoiled and never mind that he is the president of a large company who is having some challenges at the moment) What was really important to me in that moment was that he walked into the house with no flowers. It was not good.
I had created all this expectation around the day. I had put too much stress on myself to be perfect and to be the most creative, fabulous mother and wife. Would anyone have cared if I had bought the pre-made valentines? Would my family have cared if we had ordered takeout? No. I had done this. I had created this mad expectation. And I was disappointed that it hadn’t gone as planned.
Needless to say, my husband felt terrible and apologized profusely. He sent me upstairs to have a hot bubble bath alone while he put the kids to bed. I felt much better. And what I realized is that Valentine’s Day is a day about love but it’s not the only day. Every day within a family is about love. It’s about helping each other out, supporting each other. Appreciating that your husband might have a lot of his own stress at work and accepting that he’s not always going to be perfect. And you know what? I don’t have to be perfect either. We are perfectly imperfect. That’s what makes us so perfect for each other.
Okay, so when I got home on Friday afternoon I was pleasantly surprised with this gorgeous bouquet of flowers. And even though I had already realized that I had overreacted and that Valentine’s Day should be about the love you give every day…. this bouquet still made me feel better.
Because, well, in my experience, (and men, don’t forget this) no matter what anyone says, flowers are always a good idea.
Have No Fear
My son learned how to ride his bike without training wheels last week. It feels like a gigantic milestone because we had been working on it with him for a long while. Basically, we had a hard time convincing him that it would be fun to ride his bike without training wheels. He brought up all these hard to argue points about why training wheels were just fine with him. You would think he was a little old man for how set in his ways he can be. Trying new things is not at the top of his list of fun. Anything he hasn’t done before seems to present him with a lot of “what ifs” and he is not a risk taker by nature.
So as you can imagine, when I saw that shift finally take place, when I saw the determination finally dance across his eyes and the confidence march up his little spine, I was elated. When I heard the words, “You don’t need to help me anymore Mommy, I can do it by myself” there was a pride I couldn’t contain. He had made the connection. He knew he was capable. And not only capable, he was gonna be darn good at it.
Seeing him sail across the asphalt, confidently pedaling and turning just made my heart sing. The determination in his adorable little freckled smile was overwhelming for me. He was joyful. And that made me joyful.
I started thinking about how we all have a little fear of the unknown. What if I try something new and it doesn’t work out? What if I’m no good at it? Wouldn’t it be safer to stay where I feel comfortable?
I have felt this way so many times in my life and have had to force myself out of my comfort zone. Putting together an art show, starting a blog, reaching out to new friends, those are all things that are hard to imagine doing at first. But I can honestly say, I don’t think I’ve ever regretted putting myself out there. I think part of the joy of being alive is not knowing what waits around the corner. There’s beauty in taking a risk. And as they say, no risk, no reward. Life is meant to be lived.
So as I see my little man cruising happily down the street on his bike, I know this accomplishment has elevated his confidence and helped prepare him for the next time he is faced with something new. Once you learn to ride a bike, you will never forget how. The same holds true for taking risks. Because taking risks is something we can learn to be better at. We can learn to trust ourselves and really rely on the fact that no matter the outcome, we are always capable.
A Tribe of “She”
Women are powerful. We are mothers, sisters, daughters, caregivers, nurturers and friends. Our relationships with one another are sacred. The realization of this hit me deeply about 3 months ago. I realized suddenly that I wasn’t connecting with other women on a regular basis like I really wanted to. I have three best friends that [...]
[Continue reading...]
Let’s Get Comfortable
Woooo hooooo! I’m super excited to welcome you to my all new website! I have been wanting to focus a little more on blogging and it just seemed like the right time to re-design my whole shebang. I worked with Michele Bergh of Be Inspired Design and I’m so grateful for her help. I wanted [...]
[Continue reading...]
The Perfect Formula
I’ve been to a lot of parties. I’ve been to fancy parties and casual parties. I’ve been to big lavish parties and small town backyard parties. Not to mention that I love to throw parties. Let’s just say I know a good party when I see one. So it’s a bold statement I’m gonna make [...]
[Continue reading...]
Connect With Me