So, this gallery of Asphyxia Noir - one of the stars of Hustler's This Ain't Conan The Barbarian XXX, the latest in their string of parody pornos - makes me think two things. One: Asphyxia, while kiiiiiiiind of a silly name, is totally hot in that disheveled wild woman way a la Bellatrix Lestrange or Dive era Sarah Brightman and Conan is a lucky son of a bitch for getting to bang her; and two: wishing so hard that the Conan in this movie was actually Jason Momoa, cause a girl can dream, okay? Apologies to Arnold, but damn. Jason Momoa + Asphyxia Noir would be facemeltingly hot!
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