No one knows you quite like your pets do.  No one else is witness to the weird "alone time" habits you have, like sitting on your couch in your underwear, sprinkling shredded cheddar cheese right into the sour cream container and eating it with a spoon. 

FACE IT: your dog knows all of your secrets, so it's very convenient that he can't talk and let everyone know what a complete psychopath you are.  Because he has seen you at your worst, he knows how fragile you really are, so he's protective of you. 

He thinks, "This weirdo might think that she's a tough business woman, but I have seen her cry really hard at Campbell's Soup commercials and that Chipotle ad about sustainable farming.  I have to shelter her from the world because she could probably snap at any minute and I need someone to stick around and feed me."

This is why your dog is such an asshole to every new person you bring around.  "Sure, this guy is nice now, but is he going to love you when he sees you in that stupid polka dot underwear you have?" he thinks.  This Judgy Boxer print ($20, Tiny Confessions) says it all.  You might not be discerning when it comes to the type of people that you let into your life, but your dog is (take a hint: that guy's a dbag). 

It's Valentine's Day, the day where everyone momentarily stops fighting with their spouse to give them flowers, pretend to be romantic, and begrudgingly have sex with each other.

Here's something for all of the OTHER days of the year you have to spend together, when the day isn't shrouded in red roses, pink champagne, and dark chocolate: a Pick Your Battles Print ($19, Etsy) that reminds you of the best way to have a successful relationship.  

SHUT UP.  

Frankly, the whole idea of Cupid—a diapered, crossbow-wielding munchkin—forcing people to fall in love with his poisoned arrows creeps me the hell out, but this Cupid Print ($60, ConiLab) is so well-designed that I can overlook the weird folklore.  After all, we all know it isn't cupid's arrows that cause us to fall in love.  It's a bottle of tequila and a series of bad choices. 

Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and thought, "Hey, I would look totally great if my face were rendered like Andy Warhol's famous Marylin Monroe pop art portrait" ? 

CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE CRAZY.  Okay, not really. 

Maybe you like bright colors, maybe you're in love with yourself, maybe you never got over the 80's.  All of these things are great reasons to order a custom-made portrait from Poplicate (starting at $149). 

All you have to do is upload a photo—it can be of yourself, your mom, your dog, your cousin's illegitimate child—choose your color and configuration preferences, and then WHAM!  You've got a custom piece of art that coincidentally looks like it could have been cover art for WHAM! back in their heydey.  

You know you want it. 

And hey, better yet: mention You're Welcome in the "Other Comments" box of the online order form and you'll receive 20% off your order (expires 1/31/12).

Back in the days when broadcasting actually involved broadcasting shit over actual airwaves, this colorful barcoded screen meant that you probably weren't going to be able to watch the new episode of Laverne & Shirley. 

But now that everything is digital, this Color Test Print ($10, Cargoh) can serve as a colorful, retro addition to the depressingly blank walls of your apartment without disturbing your TV watching.