Anger that is left to fester can become harmful to us and to others. It’s important to learn some productive ways to handle anger personally, but it’s also important to know how you can deal with anger in a chapter environment. Your reaction to a particular situation can dictate the mood or behavior of others. Your expression of anger, particularly as a leader in the chapter, can influence the way other members think, feel or engage in future chapter happenings. In order to maintain our relationships as sisters and to keep ourselves emotionally healthy, we can learn some tactics or strategies in managing these feelings.

Consider some of the following methods the next time you are feeling angry or frustrated:

1. Count. Count to 10, 20, 100 or 1000 before you react. It can help to focus on something else and not respond in the heat of the moment. Often words used in the heat of the moment are not the same words we would use if taking the time to reflect on the situation.
2. Remove yourself from the situation. If you feel like you might say something you’ll later regret, get away from the situation. Take a walk, turn off your phone, listen to music. Do whatever you feel will help ease your mind and allow you to think about other things.
3. Do something you love. If you love to run, go for a run. If you love to draw, draw. By doing something that you know will make you happy, you’ll put yourself in a calmer and better place, one that you feel more comfortable in, to deal with the problem.
4. Evaluate. Ask yourself, “how important is this in the grand scheme of things?” Question whether or not this is really that big of a deal. See if there is something about the situation itself that you can laugh about.  Sometimes it can help to think about how the situation plays a role in your life. Sometimes you might just realize that the problem is not all that significant.
5. Talk to a friend or family member. Make it different than just gossiping or rallying others on your side. Another person can give you a better perspective on the situation and possibly help you see it from a different point of view.
6. Be proactive. Don’t just complain about the issue or situation, seek resolve. Determine what it will take for you and anyone else involved to feel as if the resolve is mutually beneficial. Get to a solution.
7. Assess your gratitude. Take some time to make a list of the good things in your life and reevaluate whether the anger you are feeling even matters compared to all of the things that make you happy.
8. Breathe. Sometimes your emotions can change in a simple deep breath. The way that we breathe affects us mentally just as much as it does physically. You will be amazed at the clarity you feel by taking a moment to stop and focus on nothing else by breathing. It allows you to think more clearly and logically.
9. Make a change. Feelings of anger often times stem from frustration, or a feeling of being stuck. Making changes may be all you need to readjust and move on. This can be as small as a new hair style or as large as a move across the country. Whatever the change may be, try something new that can offer a fresh perspective.
10. Look in the mirror. This can be literal of figurative, but whatever the case, taking a look at yourself can be just the solution to your anger. Ask yourself what you have done to allow these feelings. Challenge yourself to do it differently next time and prepare to accept responsibility for your role in the conflict. This can be quite a test in humility, but will allow you to move forward with a clean slate.

Every moment spent being angry or frustrated is taking away times of being happy. Every moment in your membership spent being angry or frustrated is taking away from all of the ways you can contribute to your chapter in a more positive and rewarding way. It’s up to you as to which is more satisfying.

March is a special month in Tri Delta as it is the designated month the we recognized Tri Delta’s partnership with St. Jude Children’s Hospital. As March is rapidly upon us,The Center for Living, Learning & Leading would like to support this very special partnership and share some a bit of history of  Tri Delta’s connection with Children’s Cancer Charities as well as St. Jude.

Philanthropy is something Tri Delta is very proud of and fortunately, becomes an important commitment for many of our members outside of sorority life as well.

 As early as 1970, interest was expressed in a national philanthropy that would combine fundraising and volunteer work. It was intended that this national philanthropy not interfere with fundraising for scholarships, and that it have both local and national importance. A third stipulation was that the chosen philanthropy be one that was not already supported by another National Panhellenic Conference sorority.

 Research prior to the 1974 Convention found greatest interest in children, hospitals and cancer. The recommendations provided during that Convention were to adopt a philanthropy program that emphasized pediatric oncology, and to encourage participation in a national fundraising luncheon, called The Sleighbell Luncheon, on the first Tuesday of December. This national event was renamed Sleighbell Day in 1976 and then in 1990, the entire philanthropy program was renamed Children’s Cancer Charities.

 Children’s Cancer Charities is not an organization itself, but it represents the collective effort of Tri Delta’s members and chapters across the United States and Canada who continue to donate goods, volunteer time and host fund-raising events in order to provide for research and treatment of children with cancer. Since 1974, Tri Deltas have raised millions of dollars in support of children’s cancer hospitals, research facilities and cancer camps.

 In 1999, Delta Delta Delta officially adopted St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital (commonly referred to as St. Jude) as its philanthropic partner. Since this time, Tri Delta collegians and alumnae members have raised over $10 million dollars in their support.

St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital

Since the formation of an official relationship between St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital and Delta Delta Delta, Tri Delta collegiate and alumnae members have proved their generous dedication to philanthropic service. Some of the various milestones of this relationship are outlined in the timeline below:

 1999 - Tri Delta officially adopted St. Jude as a national philanthropic partner. In the first  year, 15 chapters participated and raised $44,269.

2002-Tri Delta pledged to raise one million dollars in four years to endow the hospital’s Teen Room.

2005-One year ahead of schedule, Tri Delta completed the million dollar fundraising goal for the Teen Room. During this three year period, 116 of 133 chapter participated.

2006-Tri Delta pledged an additional ten million dollars in 10 years, to name the patient care floor in the new Chili’s Care Center.

2007-More than 123 chapters assisted the organization as a whole to raise more than $1.6 million. 

2008-132 chapters participated and raised $2.3 million.

2009-In less than 3 years, Tri Delta raised $7.8 million and decided to change the drivefrom 10 in 10 to 10 by 10, setting the goal of fulfilling our commitment by the end of the year.

2010-Tri Delta announced the completion of the 10 by 10 goal, raising over $10 million in less than 4 years to name the Tri Delta Patient Care Floor in the Chili’s Care Center.Tri Delta Executive Board voted on a new goal or raising $15 million in 5 years to name the Specialty Clinic located in the Patient Care Center on the campus of St. Jude.

In 2010, the Executive Board of Delta Delta Delta announced a more aggressive fundraising goal, raising $15 million in 5 years to name the Specialty Clinic located in the Patient Care Center. No other Greek organization has had this level of commitment to a charitable partner, and few are raising a comparable amount of money. This new goal challenges the collegiate and alumnae chapters of Tri Delta to raise $3 million each year, collectively.

 The Specialty Clinic houses a broad range of different services for St. Jude patients. At some point during their care at St. Jude, each child will likely be referred to the Specialty Clinic. The following services are provided in the Specialty Clinic: cardiology, gynecology, immunology, neurology, pain management, pre-operative surgery care and pulmonary care.

Our member’s enthusiasm for this goal is exceptional and commitment to St. Jude is higher than ever. Tri Delta members have developed an indescribable pride and connection to the hospital and now 100% of collegiate chapters are fundraising for St. Jude as well as other local children’s cancer constituents. Collegiate and alumnae chapters will host a variety of events on their campuses and in their communities in order to raise funds.

We are rapidly approaching our goal of acheiving $15million by 2015! What is your chapter doing to create awareness about St. Jude this coming March?

 Donate to St. Jude today!

The Undergraduate Interfraternity Institute, sponsored by the North-American Interfraternity Conference is an institute designed for fraternity/sorority men and women to come, learn about their skills as a leader, challenge their values and make plans for positive change. Brittany Zastrow, current Collegiate Chapter President of Tri Delta at Creighton University, was a recipient of the 2011 Eve Woods Riley UIFI Scholarship and attended this past summer. It is a pleasure to share Brittany’s experience. If you are interested in attending UIFI, apply for the 2012 Eve Woods Riley UIFI scholarship.

I am currently a junior at Creighton University in Omaha, Nebraska, and a member of Tri Delta’s Epsilon Mu chapter.

It is safe for me to say that one of the best decisions I made in my life was not just joining the Greek community on my college campus, but joining the Epsilon Mu chapter of Tri Delta. My membership in this organization has no doubt been an integral part of my undergraduate collegiate experience, and I cannot imagine my life without it. Much like UIFI, I had no idea on Bid Night how profound an impact this experience would have on my life.

 When I first heard about UIFI and Tri Delta’s Eve Woods Riley Scholarship, I really had no idea what either was about. At the time, I did not have an officer position, but I knew I wanted to get more involved in our chapter. After briefly glancing over the information, I figured UIFI would allow me to get out of the “Creighton bubble”, see Greek life from a different perspective, and gather some ideas and tools for strengthening and improving my chapter. Even after applying for and receiving the Eve Woods Riley Scholarship, I wasn’t entirely sure what I had gotten myself into. I was almost positive that I had a one-way ticket to a summer camp that I would end up hating and would regret boarding my 6am flight from Omaha to Indianapolis.

 I went into my session with a “get-through-it” mentality. Somewhere between the seemingly trivial, but necessary, get-to-know you activities and discussions about the reality of Greek life today, I did a 180. I formed genuine relationships with members of my small group and we had immediately fostered an environment that allowed us to openly discuss the harsh reality of Greek life all over the U.S. today. Through the emotional highs and lows of each day, ideas started to click for me that had the potential to affect everything from Greek life in general to my own chapter and my personal opinions. UIFI was truly a unique opportunity that allowed me to create personal goals and make personal commitments while formulating ideas for stimulating a greater change in my own chapter.

 Before UIFI, I saw my experience in Tri Delta primarily as an opportunity to form great friendships with my sisters, network with alumnae, and focus on philanthropy and service. After UIFI, I see that my Tri Delta experience is much more than just those aspects of Greek life. I have come to realize that my experience as an undergraduate in the Epsilon Mu chapter of Tri Delta has shaped me into the young woman I am today. It has helped me solidify my personal values, strengthened my character, and led me to be the best version of myself that I can be – all while showing me that I will always have room to grow. I have such a great pride to wear my letters now because I identify so strongly with this organization and fully appreciate all it has helped me to do.

 I realized initially that my greatest challenge would be to effectively convey to my chapter the core ideas presented at UIFI that led to my personal growth and renewed understanding of Greek life. The idea of a Blueprint itself was very daunting, and creating my own seemed like an overwhelming task. Focusing on the ideals of Tri Delta, living out the purpose through daily life, and making our “Ritual” our “ritual” were all ideas that really spoke to me during UIFI. I had no doubt that sharing these ideas with my sisters back at Creighton would help us to focus on internal strength instead of external image, improve morale and respect for one another, strengthen sisterhood, and improve communication within the chapter.

 Upon returning to campus in August, I started my plan of action by sharing my experience with our chapter. Many members had no idea I had attended UIFI, nor what UIFI even stood for. I held workshops for my sisters that focused on various ideas that really hit home with me at UIFI and were tailored to the specific needs of our chapter. The workshops were open to anyone who was interested in learning more and I knew that the women who came truly wanted to work hard and had a genuine desire to stimulate a change in our chapter. Epsilon Mu chapter is one of the newest chapters of Tri Delta, founded in March of 2010. Naturally, we were experiencing some growing pains. Sharing these fundamental ideas about the power of focusing on our purpose and values and living our Ritual allowed us to move towards a stronger sisterhood and focus on what really matters in Greek life. It still amazes me that such seemingly simple ideas can have such a profound effect on an organization and individuals.

 Although I initially had reservations about whether or not I would be able to successfully share my experience with those around me, I believe my sisters saw how I had changed as a sorority woman over the summer. They had confidence in my leadership abilities and faith in my ideas of Greek life and slated me as Collegiate Chapter President for this coming year. I have a renewed faith in myself that I will be able to continue to help lead our chapter in the right direction and continue to take action that will lead to growth and strength. I know I can always look back to my UIFI experience in difficult times and will instantly be reminded of the core ideas and purposes of Greek life that I learned in four short days last July.

Written by The Center staff

Why did you join a sorority? Why have you stayed in? Sure there are fun parties and it’s a great way to meet people. It’s a great way to get involved and it can be the popular thing to do on some campuses. But if you’re a member of Tri Delta just to be in a sorority, just for appearances, just because everyone else is, just because you think you’re supposed to, it’s for the wrong reasons.

Sure, you may have joined for any number of reasons. But the reasons you joined are often times not the same reasons that you stay.  Staying in, staying committed, staying involved and staying a part of a sorority is a lot of work! There’s a lot that is expected of members. There are rules. There are standards and expectations. There are dues and requirements. You shouldn’t take part in all of these just because you feel like you have to. Take part in all that membership has to offer by loving Tri Delta and the opportunity that it brings to be a part of something that is so much larger than yourself.

In a month where, red and pink and hearts and arrows and love seem to be smothering all of us wherever we look, take a moment to reflect what it is you love about Tri Delta, what it is you love about your membership, what it is that makes you proud to be a member, what it is that you hold in your heart about your experience. Sisterhood is so unique and offers each of us an opportunity to make lifelong friends, learn lifelong lessons and embrace our membership…our lifelong membership.

Consider these 10 easy ways to fall in love with Tri Delta and then determine what it is that YOU love about your own personal experience:

1. Tri Delta was founded in 1888. This was a time when women didn’t have the right to vote, they weren’t completely accepted in the college environment by their male peers, it was considered a luxury to have a telephone in your house and most people traveled by horse and buggy.
2. Every Tri Delta has participated in the same Initiation Ceremony. During this Ritual, you made a commitment and it is a big one. It’s a commitment to the organization, to your sisters and to yourself. Ask the vice president of chapter development for your chapter if you can check out a ritual book to re-read the commitments you have made. Think about what that means to you and ways that you can fulfill this promise.
3. With over 130 collegiate chapters across North America, Tri Delta’s vast membership creates opportunities to connect with sisters around the world. It is likely you will meet a Tri Delta from another chapter or maybe someone from your chapter who graduated years ahead of you. This could be while you are networking for jobs, traveling or doing your day-to-day activities.
4. As a member of Tri Delta, you also share a common bond with some very notable women. Some of these women include Katie Couric, Elizabeth Dole, Leeza Gibbons, Deborah Norville and Hoda Kotb. Tri Delta has recognized these women and many others with the Women of Achievement Award presented every other year at Convention.
5. The first issue of The Trident, the official Tri Delta magazine, came out on November 25, 1891 and we were the first women’s fraternity to publish a magazine so soon after its founding. While it may look different and the stories have changed, The Trident still exhibits the values and traditions that our founders had for it over 120 years ago.
6. The dolphin, while not one of the original symbols, has been adopted as a Tri Delta symbol. The dolphin is said to symbolize positivity by the ancient Greeks. It represents rebirth, friendship and leadership. The dolphin is symbolic of clear skies and smooth sailing, with significance to fraternity leaders.
7. Tri Delta has a very special relationship with St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. In 2007, we committed to raise 10 million dollars in 10 years. We did just that in 4 years! Our new goal to raise 15 million in 5 years is well underway and members continue this unbelievable commitment.
8. In 1888, Tri Delta founder, Sarah Ida Shaw said,  “Let us found a society that shall be kind alike to all and think more of a girl’s inner self and character than of her personal appearance.” Little did she know that her words would be seen through fruition, when in 2008 Tri Delta officially launched the Reflections: Body Image Program, the first research based, peer led, body image awareness program designed for sorority women.
9. Tri Delta maintains a central office in Arlington, Texas. The Tri Delta Executive Office is staffed by over 40 employees working daily with the best interest of the Fraternity in mind, propelling the organization in a progressive direction while staying true to our timeless values. They are working to support members and provide the best membership experience to collegians and alumnae alike. The facility is complete with a museum containing various historical items, publications and even the badge belonging to founder, Sarah Ida Shaw.
10. The Stars & Crescent Badge, the official emblem of membership was designed by founders, Sarah Ida Shaw and Eleanor Dorcus Pond in 1888. Upon the creation of the design, members could customize the design and order from various jewelers; so there exists many historical badges adorning pearl, diamonds, opals and various other gems. It wasn’t until 1938, that the Fraternity limited the jewel to be used in the stars on the Stars & Crescent Badge to be the pearl.

Written by The Center staff

As we were cleaning out some old files and getting our offices reorganized, we ran across this poem, shoved in a notebook and printed on an old piece of pastel yellow copy paper. As we read the words, we each found it impactful in our own way and wanted to share it.

Attitude Determines Attitude

-Author Unknown 

I woke up early today, excited over all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight. I have responsibilities to fulfill today. I am important. 

My job is to choose what kind of day I am going to have. 

Today I can complain because the weather is rainy or I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free. 

Today I can feel sad that I don’t have more money or I can be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from waste. 

Today I can grumble about my health or I can rejoice that I am alive. 

Today I can lament over all that my parents didn’t give me when I was growing up or I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.

Today I can cry because roses have thorns or I can celebrate that thorns have roses. 

Today I can mourn my lack of friends or I can excitedly embark upon a quest to discover new relationships.

Today I can whine because I have to go to work or I can shout for joy because I have a job to do.

Today I can complain because I have to go to school or I can eagerly open my mind, and fill it with rich new tidbits of knowledge.

Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And here I am the sculptor who gets to do the shaping.

What today will be like is up to me, I get to choose what kind of day I will have!

We all have moments in our days or in our weeks that we remember because it was bad or because it was frustrating or because it made us angry. But we can also take these same moments and turn them into something positive, something we can learn from, something that encourages us. Ultimately, we determine our own attitudes.  What will yours be?