Online Dating In Your 40′s – what should you look for in a site?

People in their 40′s looking to try online dating will have a completely different set of wants and needs, compared to those that are dating in their twenties. Most 40+ singles have gone through serious relationships, divorces, or children. This make finding a like-minded match, even more important.

In addition to qualities like personality and looks, a mate’s future plans and how they might fit into their family should be taken into account. Extra precautions like background check or extra screenings may be necessary, if children are in the house.

Types of Sites For 40 Plus Singles

The type of dating site that is most appropriate for a person in their 40′s, depends on what they are looking for. If they want a serious relationship, sites like eHarmony or Match would most likely be the best fit.

Sites like eHarmony use questionnaires and personality profiling to find other members with similar attitudes and outlooks on life. These traits include things like Emotional Temperament, Social Style, Cognitive Mode, Physicality, Relationship Skills, Values, and Key Experiences.

They use a 200-400 question evaluation and use a proprietary algorithm to create matches with singles that have “like” characteristics. Their theory on match making is that people fit most naturally with others that have similar attitudes and core values. Research done by eHarmony suggests that many times we don’t naturally make the best choices as to the “type of person” who would be the best fit for us. The founders of eHarmony believe that the success rate of matchmaking based on these core traits is higher, than if we are allowed to choose what we are looking for on our own.

Should You Pick Your Own Matches or Should They Choose For You?

Match takes a different attitude towards matching and suggestions. They send you the top 5 matches based on your preferences, NOT a personality quiz. Unlike eHarmony, Match lets users take more of an active role in the type of person they want to date. This allows the dater to choose they type of relationship they want (serious or not), physical characteristics, age ranges, and personality types. Match is one of the most successful dating sites on the planet, so this system obviously has some merit to it.

Niche Sites Based On Ethnicity or Religion

Another type of dating site that people in the age range of 40-50 might consider, is a smaller niche site centered around religion or ethnicity. If religion is an essential characteristic that you are looking for, there are specialized sites built around Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. The type of person you will find on this site are more dedicated to the principles of their faith and may fit the type of relationship your are searching for. The top sites based around religion are Christian Mingle, Jewcier, and Muslimfriends.

There have been some complaints towards eHarmony, stating that they don’t have an ethnically diverse database. One African American user noted that there was a small population of black members. In this case, a site based around your ethnic group may be more appropriate. Sites like BlackSingles, cater specifically to an african american demographic and are a good place to go if you feel they group you want to date in underrepresented in the large mainstream sites.

Dating For The Career Oriented

Another type of niche site that people in 40+ age range might consider is
“professional singles” dating. These sites are focused on career minded people who might not have time to date. One of the top sites in this category is ItsJustLunch. It allows daters to meet on their lunch break. This can be important for people who work nights or odd hours.

The bottom line is that there are a multitude of dating sites including large mainstream sites, religion oriented sites, and sites based around a specific ethnicity. They larger sites can match you according to characteristics and traits based on your personality. If you want to find matches based on a specific interest, religious inclination, or ethnic group, a smaller niche site may be more of what you are looking for.

Online Dating For Widows – when is the right time?

Dating a widower that had a long healthy relationship can be intimidating for any potential date. They might feel that they will always be compared to the husband or wife that has passed away. As a widower, you may have additional obstacles in addition to the normal dating difficulties. There are a few things you can do to ensure a better success rate and make the experience better for you and you potential date.

1) Search Specifically for Divorcees and Widows –  You might seek out people that are divorced or widowed, as they might be able to relate better to your situation. They will have difficult issues in their past relationships, just as you will. You can help each other through the process of greiving your old relationships, while you learn about each other and create a new one.

2) Create an accurate profile – Creating a dating profile is one of the most important parts of the online dating experience. It is what draws people to you and informs people of your life story. You shouldn’t shy away from telling people that you were widowed, as an honest life story will tend to draw people to you.

Dating Sites Specifically for Widows

Believe it or not there are dating sites set up specifically to serve widows. This may be helpful in order to meet people who are struggling with the same issues as well as to find new romantic connections. It might make you feel more comfortable to date someone who is a widow and can relate to what you are going through.

These widow specific dating sites include:

1) JustWidowDating.com

2) Widow.com

Major Dating sites or Small Sites Created Specifically For Widows?

Even though connecting with other widow can be helpful, the dating sites set up for this purpose might not offer you the best experience. Widow ONLY dating sites tend to be a very small niche group.

The userbases will be very small and odds that you will find an active user that fits the criteria of what you want in a significant other will be slim. Many of these people will be far outside of your local area, and the profiles may be out of date or non-responsive.

The large dating sites like eHarmony will serve widows just as well as widow-specific sites, but will have many more active members. EHarmony matches singles based on an extensive personality profile, so odds are that you will find a good connection with the other person in spite of this.

More Tips About Your Profile

It is important to be honest about what has happened to you, when you create a profile. An honest, accurate profile will let people understand you, your situation, in addition to any characteristics that might describe you.

Recently, a study was done to assess the impact that online dating had on widows and people that are divorced. This study showed that creating a dating profile which explained the back story of what happened to their old relationship and their goals of a future relationship, served to be helpful in the grieving process. The profiles helped them articulate how they were feeling about their losses, and also served to help them define new goals for their future.

Dating Site Reviews – READ THIS FIRST!

In the last 20 years, online dating has grown from a small niche market into big business. Dating sites like eHarmony have grown dramatically in size as more people grow comfortable with internet dating. There are many different types of sites including paid membership sites, free sites, and smaller niche group sites. The type of dating site you may be interested in will definitely depend on your circumstances and the type of experience you are looking for. People looking to find love or marriage, seek to meet other members that are serious about their internet dating experience. These people should avoid “free” sites as the members tend to not be as committed to the process.

Membership Sites – why they offer a better experience for users

There are a few membership sites that seem to dominate in terms of providing a good user experience, having a large userbase, and matchmaking. These sites would include:

1) eHarmony – this site is one of the most well known brands and does quite a bit of television and internet advertising. The site launch in 2000 and has members from countries all over the world. The site was founded by a psychologist and relationship author “Neil Warren”. He used his relationship knowledge to create a system that sought to improve the dating experience with a better matchmaking system.

The site matches members based on a lengthy questionnaire that seeks to discover “core traits” about each individual and match people who are similar in these respects. The company has developed a proprietary algorithm that analyses an individuals questionnaire and their behavior on the site, to create better matches. Studies have shown that members who are match with eHarmony’s system have almost 2 times greater chance to become married than couple match on other systems.

2) Perfect Match – This dating site also has its own matchmaking system which creates connections based on the “Duet Total Compatibility System”. It was developed by a relationship expert and doctor who sought to use a psychological questionnaire to evaluate its members and find other users who had a similar profile.

The matching system works to match people in a way that is different from how eHarmony creates their matches. It evaluates users based on a questionnaire, then uses this information to find members with complementary personality traits (NOT like personality traits).

The site was founded in 2003 and has a very positive rating by its users.

Niche Dating Sites (Religious, Ethnic, Divorced, and Single Parent Focused Sites)

Recently, a new trend in online dating is moving towards smaller “niche” sites focused around a very specific group of people or interest. These sites are centered around topics such as religion, ethnicity, and hobbies.

There are many websites that are centered on a type of religion including Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, and Catholicism. These sites are made up entirely out of members of that particular religion. So, if finding a partner with a similar belief system is important to you, you should consider this. The largest religion based membership sites tend to be christian. These include:

1) Christian Mingle – this site is completely christian-centric and includes advice for christians seeking to date, as well as very large userbase. This site has an A+ Better Business Bureau rating and is part of the Sparks Network. Which is a network of faith based websites. The memberships costs $30 per month.

2) Christian Cafe – this is a completely christian focused dating sites that was created in 1998. They have a lot of positive user testimonials and also a very reasonable subscription cost at around $8 per month.

Dating sites based around Judaism are also very prominent. The top sites in this category include:

1) Jewcier – this is Jewish centered site that was launched in 2010. It has a large userbase of single jewish people in the U.S., Isreal, and World abroad. The site recieves around 70,000 visitors each month and has a slightly larger female population than male.

2) JDate – Jdate.com is one of the most popular dating sites focused around Judaism. It has a “free” and “subscription” based service. Free users can browse and flirt with other members on the site, but interaction is limited. If a user upgrades their membership, they will have access to additional features including messaging, email, and chat. One interesting feature that Jdate offers is the ability of users to signal that there is a mutual interest. This has helped to increase the level of interaction on the site which can lead to successful dates.

Other types of niche sites are dedicated specifically single parent or people that are newly divorced. Top sites in this niche include:

1) Just Single Parents – this site offers single parents the ability to interact with other single people with children. The site is very user friendly and has compatibility testing, the creating of video profiles, and a short sign up time. Another great feature about this site is that it allows video based chat and texting through the site.

2) Just Divorced Singles – this site is focused specifically on people that are divorced and are looking for people in a similar situation. The site has alot of great features including video chat, video profiles, and instant messaging. The site is subscription based and costs around $30 per month.

Ethnic based sites have grown dramatically in popularity. The largest demographic of this type of sites are made up of members of the African American community. The top sites in this group include:

1) Black Singles – This is a very large community built specifically for African American members. It was created in 2002 and receives close to 900,000 visitors per month. It allows for a free sign up and requires an upgrade in order to use more advanced features like chat and messaging. It has many positive customer testimonials and has a good rating in the BBB.

2) Black People Meet – this is another site created specifically for members of the black community. It is owned by PeopleMedia which owns a network of dating sites that have visitors in excess of 2 million per month.

3) Just Black Singles – this site is focused on the black community and offers features such as video chat and messaging. The site is free to join and has a large growing userbase.

Another popular niche in the dating industry includes physical preferences like BBW dating (big beautiful women) and men looking to date women from Russia or Eastern Europe. The top sites in this category include:

1) BBW Singles – this is a site for plus size users or single people that are looking to date plus size users. It is the first site created specifically for this demographic. It has a very large userbase and has many positive customer reviews. The site allows for a free 24 hour membership so users can decide whether or not it is for them. This temporary membership allows new users to get full access to the site in order to see if it is for them.

2) Anastasia Date – this is a site built specifically for men who would like to meet women in counties like Russia and Eastern Europe. It allows users to contact and make video dates with women they are interested in. it also allows for live chat, will provide a translator, and gives men the ability arrange face to face dates.

Mature Dating – Sites that Specialize in Singles Aged 40 – 65

Online dating can be a significant step in any person’s life, especially if they have previously been married or have children. Many dating sites (especially free sites) focused on a younger generation of members who are outside of the dating pool for people in the ages ranging from 40 – 65. While certain sites like Plenty of Fish cater to the “bar scene” crowd, other high profile sites like eHarmony and Match tend to be skewed to a slightly older crowd.

Mature daters tend to gravitate towards paid dating sites (or membership sites) that have features such as personality tests, matchmaking services, and are more user friendly. Subscription sites have very broad userbases and work very hard to match singles based on characteristics like age, personality traits, and location.

Specialty Site or Major Site

There are sites that specialize in a mature crowd. These sites include: SeniorPeopleMeet and SeniorFriendFinder. If you want to engage only with people in this age group, this type of site may be of interest, but there are some negatives. Sites that focus on small niche groups like seniors, religion, or ethnicity, may not have a large group of users to work with.

You may subscribe to a smaller niche site, only to find that there are no compatible members in your local area.

Another negative is that the smaller sites don’t have the money to invest in usability, matchmaking services, or site improvements. A specialty site may give you access to the exact demographic you want to be paired with, but the members might now be local to you or even be active.

Major dating sites that are well branded like eHarmony and Match, put alot of money into creating a positive experience for users, which may be an after thought for small dating sites looking to get your subscription money.

On the other hand, for members of certain ethnic groups like the African american community, a smaller specialty (or niche) site might be exactly what they are looking for.

Some members have expressed that larger sites like Match and Eharmony might have a userbase that is less representative of minority groups. There are sites that focus on specific interest or hobbies like surfing and golf. If you are specifically looking for a partner to be active with you in your hobby, a specialty site like this might be the right choice.

Tips for Mature Daters

Mature singles looking to get back into the dating scene should take their time, and connect with at least a few singles. It can be fun to go out and date, especially if you haven’t been single for a long time. Here are a few tips for a better dating experience:

1) Send out alot of emails – Its important to email and connect with multiple people. This helps you get a feel for exactly what you are looking for. Don’t be afraid to send out lots of emails to initiate conversation, even if you are a woman! If you send out enough, eventually you will get some good responses, that will lead to phone calls or a date.

2) Make a good profile – A well-written profile with good pictures that are accurately portray how you look, are very important to a successful dating interaction. It is important to be honest about your characteristics and hobbies. Shared hobbies will make for a faster connection between singles. It can be fun meet people with likes an dislikes.

3) The First Date Should be Short – one tip that will help you avoid an awkward date is to make your first meeting a short one. 15 minute dates like a “coffee date” are important in case you don’t feel a connection when you meet in person. It allows you to see whether you both have chemistry. If you do you can always schedule a longer date like dinner and a movie. But, if you make a long date with a person that you aren’t feeling a connection with, it can be painful.

4) Be Honest About Other Dates – It is important to let someone you are seeing know if you are dating other people. If you just want to date around and have fun, it is ok, but letting the other person, is important so you know you are on the same page. If you are honest it is much easier to salvage a relationship, if you decide to meet up and date again.

Black Online Dating: which sites are worth your while?

The internet allows us to specifically seek the “type” of person we would like to date. There are 100′s of dating sites that allow single people to choose based on religion, age, ethnicity and even specific hobbies. There are a variety of dating sites created specifically for the african american community to connect, exchange messages, and meet up. By using a site where most of the members understand black history and black culture, you might be more likely to connect with the type of person you want to date.

Why Choose an African American “Centric” Dating Site?

With so many online dating sites in existence, you can get very specific as to what type of community you would like to join. As an African American, you may feel more comfortable in a community of people that matches the type of people you grew up dating. Major dating sites like Eharmony or Match have advertising campaigns that mostly depict successful dating stories of white men and women. Some users of the site have suggested that the userbase of these sites are mostly made of of white men and women. If you don’t feel like you belong in a particular dating community, why would you sign up in the first place? This might leave many black singles wondering whether they should sign up for a site that is centered around the black community.

Top Black Dating Sites

There are many dating sites which specifically cater to black men and women. The largest include BlackPeopleMeet and BlackPlanet. Black People Meet is a paid membership site that was founded in 2002. It allows members to communicate via email, audio, and video chat. New members can sign up free “here”, but if you would like to take advantage of the entire range of services, the cost is a minimal $9.95/mo. This is fairly inexpensive compared to the usual range of $20-$60 per month for other dating sites.

On the other hand BlackPlanet is more of a social network similar to Facebook or Myspace that focuses on black members. It is free to use and contains members that are mostly African American, but also has members of other races and ethnicities. This site is an “open dating” network which allows anyone to see your profile and pictures.

Paid vs. Free Dating Sites

The two main types of dating sites (free vs. paid) have their advantages and disadvantages. The main difference is that paid membership sites are “closed systems”. This means that members have to pay in order to views pictures and profiles that are uploaded to the system. This allows for better privacy and less chance that an image you upload will be used for a purpose that you did not intend.

Free sites like Plenty of Fish or Black Planet are “open systems” which allow any user to access you personal information. This may not bother some people, but for professionals, racy images could cause harm to careers or relationships. It is also important to note that free sites tend to be HUGE. This mean you would have less of a chance to get to know someone on an individual basis.

On “free” sites, female members receive large amount of emails from daters that are not that serious about a relationship or marriage. This would cause many good matches to be ignored, due the the sheer amount of emails that they receive every day.

Profile Tips for Black Single Daters

When creating a profile for an online dating site, it is important to upload a wide variety of accurate pictures and information. For example, if you use the 1 shot that makes you look better than you really do, it may lead to an uncomfortable situation if you ever decide to meet up. Most experts recommend uploading an attractive picture of your face for your main profile image and then a series of shot the accurately depict your body in a variety of circumstances. This would include pictures of you engaged in your hobbies, hanging out with friends, or doing what you like to do to have fun.

Another important tip to create a successful online dating profile is to be truthful about your weight, height, and employment. The most likely thing for men to lie about on their profiles are their income and their height. On the othe rhand, for women, the most likely thing they lied about was their weight.