Mermaid Park

What Is This & Why Do I Suddenly Fear Jack Nicholson?

Over the years, two persons have asked me how I came up with the name “Mermaid Park.” The answer is so simple, you will slap yourself and shout, “OF COURSE! EGADS, I AM A DUNCE,” but please don’t be too hard on yourself. The reason why this site is Mermaid Park and not, say, Manatee Plateau, is because I like the word “mermaid” and the word “park.” I like the way they sound and the way they look. I don’t have any strong attachments to mermaids or parks themselves, however; I like that they exist (?) but I don’t spend any considerable time with or in them. Maybe the reason why I find these words attractive together is due to the fact that all my life I had never seen a depiction of mermaids doing normal, everyday stuff. Usually they’re lying on jagged rocks on the beach to avoid unwanted solicitations from drunk dolphins, or else they’re tied to the front of ships, often without any clothes on, with pervy sailors nearby, in the middle of a freezing ocean which makes their nipples go all pointy. Must a fish-humanoid always be degraded thus? I like the idea of a mermaid just chilling at a park during her lunch break, reading a newspaper, softly muttering about the deplorable state of the nation while eating a tuna fish sandwich. Now that — that is REAL.

And that is what Mermaid Park is essentially about: REALNESS. Apart from the lies and gross exaggerations, you will find nothing here that is fake. Someone once described this site as ugly and nauseating, and even though that someone was a rude skanky-ass ho-bag for saying so, I fully agree. You better believe it’s ugly and nauseating, because that’s what reality is. In fact, if I look at this site for too long, my head starts playing on loop that scene from The Shining where the elevator opens and unleashes a torrent of blood so vivid I can almost taste the scent of stale copper in the air — that’s how much truth blood is over here, and that’s why the color scheme is also bloodlike. This site is unpleasant and unsanitary, and I do not recommend it for the elderly, the disabled, or the unwed. For everyone else: Enjoy!

Tricks Of The Trade

I made this with WordPress and Wufoo. It’s hosted by A Small Orange.

Layout History

Version: Breakfast Orgasms
Released: 4 February 2005

Version: Dark Underneath
Released: 17 July 2005

Version: Throwing Tantrums
Released: 26 November 2005

Version: Brownie
Released: 17 September 2006

Version: Vanilla Butch
Released: 11 November 2006