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Secret media, addresses and information. Join the xerocracy |
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Memepackets for cool geeks, the children of cool geeks, and cool geek children |
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Go where we go, eat who we eat, defile what we defile |
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Who we are and where we are going |
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Bombing Starbucks |
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Chapters are now available for download, below. Point, click, and enjoy.
Soon, these chapters will be downloadable as zipped files (which will take less time to download but will require a
decompression utility to unzip), Mac formats, and PDF files. Patience, grasshopper.
Copies of this document may be made freely by any individual for personal use, provided all copies retain this notice in its entirety. Non-commercial organizations may also reprint or excerpt this material freely, provided all usages retain this notice in its entirety, but the author requests, as a courtesy only, prior notification by e-mail and one copy of the document in which the material is reprinted.
For all other circumstances, this document is copyright 2000 Jeremy P. Bushnell.
Disclaimer: The characters and events in this work are fictitious. Where real persons and organizations have been used, it is solely for satirical intent. Astute readers will assuredly notice
that I have fictionalized business practices of certain huge corporations, most notably David Geffen, Inc.; these liberties have been taken, again, in the name of satire. The actual business practices
of these corporations may perhaps be perceived more clearly after some time has been spent staring at the distorted reflection offered here.
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PART ONE : BARNES AND NOBLE |
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CHAPTER ONE
in which our feckless protagonist, samantha, is introduced to us in a barnes and noble
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CHAPTER TWO
in which samantha meets with gregor, her ex-lover.
magazine quizzes are discussed; personal details (sex, tears) are
revealed in flashback; coffee is had.
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CHAPTER THREE
in which we meet many of the remaining principal characters and the fox network is watched.
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CHAPTER FOUR
in which all the characters introduced so far come together; david geffen is discussed.
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CHAPTER FIVE
in which samantha considers her future, and a conference call complicates the already-burgeoning plot
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CHAPTER SIX
in which feminism and good sex are contemplated, and samantha's new boyfriend is introduced
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CHAPTER SEVEN
in which everything said so far is restated in an orderly way
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NIGHT AT THE DINER : ONE |
being a pleasing interlude between Part One and Part Two
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PART TWO : VIRTUAL MALL |
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CHAPTER EIGHT
full of panic attacks and strange authorial excesses in the form of radical zoom-outs. Egg donation is discussed
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CHAPTER NINE
may be one of the best so far
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CHAPTER TEN
in which samantha and dmitrovitch go walking down at the train tracks
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CHAPTER ELEVEN
which contains the novel's most long-winded argument about capitalism yet
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CHAPTER TWELVE
in which a&r men hassle samantha on the phone and eventually hang up on her
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CHAPTER THIRTEEN
in which something bad happens to one of our beloved principal characters. Contains heartache, pathos.
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CHAPTER FOURTEEN
in which mass panic erupts. contains kindly old man, bad teenagers, and vomit.
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NIGHT AT THE DINER : TWO |
being a pleasing interlude between Part Two and Part Three
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PART THREE : THE NIKE RAVE |
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CHAPTER FIFTEEN
in which certain tensions are resolved, to make room for a new batch
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CHAPTER SIXTEEN
contains a surprise housewarming party and a lot of stolen office supplies
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CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
in which techno music's viability as a brainwashing tool is discussed
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CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
is the only chapter to contain all five of the novel's major characters. at a nike-sponsored "rave" on the college quadrangle. oh the irony.
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CHAPTER NINETEEN
in which the rave concludes in a fashion that the astute reader may have seen coming from a mile away
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CHAPTER TWENTY
in which the relationship between samantha and dmitrovitch finally reaches a resolution
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CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
which contains lyrics to a rousing anti-starbucks number
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>hr noshade> |
NIGHT AT THE DINER : THREE |
being a pleasing interlude between Part Three and Part Four
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PART FOUR : STARBUCKS |
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CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
in which a bomb finally goes off
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CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
which contains the answer of how to change the world
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CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
contains a long meditation on Ronald Reagan, of all things
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CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
takes place in a hospital and offers the last word on the techno-utopianists
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CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
in which david geffen makes a momentary appearance
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CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
in which the remaining active principals enter starbucks with a bomb; predictable results ensue
which will utterly fail to resonate for those readers who understandably jumped straight to this chapter
to see how it all turns out
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CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
ties up the remaining loose ends just in time for the year 2000
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