Alternative titles:

Why Bother?

Getting Stuffed: The Role of the Enthusiast Press

Videogames and You: Two Things I Hate

What is Patrick’s Friggin’ Problem?

Where Are the Jokes?

This feature bought to you by HYPNO CROTCH – the only hypnotic crotch officially endorsed by Capcom!

Why wait? Get your very own HYPNO CROTCH today!

HYPNO CROTCH!

Says it all, really.

Remember back in March, I posted part one of a long and interesting interview with well-known genius Kenichi Nishi, creator of Chibi-Robo, Archime-DS, Captain Rainbow, Newtonica and happiness? And I probably said something like, "Shucks, I'll post part two real soon, hurpa durp!" in a dumb voice like that.

Well, here it is. A bit late I suppose, but it's not dated at all because I didn't ask any stupid questions like, "HUR, WHAT IS YOUR NEXT GAME KENICHI, THE WORLD MUST KNOW IMMEDIATELY!??"

As a result, this second half of the interview is as completely wonderful as the first. Click the link below to begin your enjoyment.

Who is the winner of last week's challenge? You will only know by reading this thing! Also there are cartoon fat men.

Mmmmm I can almost taste those fat men. Mmm, it smells like some of them are dressed as videogame characters. Mmmmmmmmm.

They're so close.

SONIC! THE WEREHOG!
What the fuck is he?
Who really knows?

SONIC! THE WEREHOG!
He's got new stretchy arms
But he lost Amy Rose!

SONIC! THE WEREHOG!
Okay, just read the feature now
Cause this intro blows.

NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM

What rolls down stairs alone or in pairs
And over your neighbour's dog?
What's great for a snack
And fits on your back?
It's GOG, GOG, GOG!
It's GOOOGG, GOOOGGG! It's big, it's heavy, it's wood!
It's GOOOGG, GOOOGGG! It's better than bad, it's good!

“Let’s kick off our up-to-the-minute coverage of Tokyo Game Show with a look at all the major booths on the show floor. It’s the next best thing to being there!”

That’s the introduction I wrote to this photo feature. So when you click the link, you’re gonna see it again. Fair warning.

This is a special message for Google:

Cosplay, Bleach, Death Note, Mario, Naruto, Sailor Moon, Final Fantasy, Street Fighter, Some Bloody Manga Nobody Reads, blue woman, weirdos.

Also, boobs.

"[Roberta Williams] is described as hating all humanity, or more accurately creation, opposing God, spreading lies and wreaking havoc on the souls of mankind."

(Thanks, Wikipedia!)

Are you a ‘bedroom’ game designer? Better yet, are you a would-be bedroom game designer – passionate about videogames and eager to make one, but you don’t know where to start, or you’re finding it a bit overwhelming? Toronto’s Artsy Games Incubator may be of great interest to you! Oh yes. Great interest.

So, you know – read this interview I done did.

Yes! Here is an interview with Dessgeega, the creator of Mighty Jill Off, Calamity Annie, and other excellent things. I can tell you, honestly and enthusiastically, that this is a bloody good interview: long and meaty! She even tells us a little bit about her next game. But more importantly, she tells us about her ideas, her life, and her philosophy of game design. I bet you like a hundred dollars that this interview is way more interesting than the next interview you read with, say, Shigeru Miyamoto.

“What what? More interesting than Shigeru Miyamoto? But he is a very important genius!” True, dearest reader. But consider that the only people who get to interview Shigeru Miyamoto are cock-gobbling suck-ups, who ask stupid questions like, “Will there be another Zelda game? Is Nintendo planning another DS redesign?” Like that shit matters, you idiot! Just wait and find out! You get to interview Shigeru Miyamoto, and that’s what you want to know? Jesus christ, you must be the most boring fucker alive.

God.

So, yes: Dessgeega. Clicky clicky!

The recently released Skip game, Captain Rainbow features minor characters from Nintendo games of yore, fleshing them out and giving them a bright, new stage upon which to strut their respective stuffs. We all know this.

But how many of you were aware that this sort of thing is nothing new at all?

NOT MANY, I BET.

Holy obnoxious-fucking-smiley on a stick – it's a new episode of Rose and Camellia! And not just any episode! It's the goddamn penultimate instalment. That means that after this one, and the next one, and maybe an epilogue, there will be no more! 

IT'S A HUGE DEAL.

HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE.

Last year, before Eegra launched, I requested an interview of my hero, Tim Schafer, to which he kindly and generously agreed. "I'd be happy to answer some questions," he said. "If you email me some, and not too too many, I'll try to answer them asap."

Greedy fool that I was, it was not enough! I flung Tim's magnanimous offer back into his noble face. "NO!" I screeched. "It can't be an email interview; they're dumb! Dumb like you!" I demanded that he fly me to San Francisco and give me a three-hour face-to-face interview, then adopt me and raise me as his own. Anything less, I insisted, would be unacceptable; any other action, the action of a stingy, spiteful, fat-faced fiend.

He never replied to that email, and, long story short, we've ultimately had to do the interview without him.

YES

YES THE WINNERS ARE ANNOUNCED NOW

CLICK AND READ

I believe I have written the ‘Platonic videogame article’; the videogame article in its essential and ultimate form. So-called ‘games journalism’ has now reached its conclusion. You can all pack up and go home.

Please bear with us as, during the next few weeks, we transition from videogame-related content to exciting unicorn fiction for teens and young adults. (We welcome reader submissions.)

"The game is infamous for its large number of dead ends and obtuse puzzles. Late in the game Graham must navigate a frustrating maze where each room is rotated according to the character's perspective rather than being shown with north always at the top of the screen. There are several actions (or in some cases, the lack of an action) the player can take that render the game impossible to finish. These things can make King's Quest V difficult to complete without resorting to hints."

(Thanks, Wikipedia!)

We went to Supanova and promoted the website and met people and saw things with our eyes. Here is a feature all about that -- and more?

There's lots of photos, 'cause I know how you guys like that.

Oh and for Google I should mention that there is cosplay. COSPLAY COSPLAY COSPLAY.

Also grown men playing dress-ups.

The great thing about game mascots with cat faces is that anyone can make them at home, using toilet rolls, pipe cleaners and crêpe paper. Here are a few more examples to help you get started!

Here's a thing I wrote. It was originally going to be a blog post, but then it got long, so now it's a feature. I am nothing if not flexible.

Figuratively speaking.

It's time for another episode of everyone's favourite fan-fic masterpiece, Rose and Camellia - A Tale of Love, Loss, and