Philosophical Monday: This Biracial Baby Business

Oct 19, 2009 7 Comments by Ernessa T. Carter
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Is it me, Mr. Giraffe, or does my future look awfully bright?

So by far one of my most popular posts has been “Raising Biracial Children,” which I wrote before I had any actual Biracial children living outside my womb or the gleam in my eye. I suspected as I was writing it that my perspective would change once I actually had said child, and I have to say that I was pretty much right about that.

I think what has been most surprising is how little I think about Betty being biracial. Beforehand, I thought this would be a subject that would stay on my mind 24/7, but in reality being a new mother eclipses all issues of race. For example:

Day 1: Oh my God, she turns red when she cries! Is that normal? (I am assured by my white husband and Betty’s doctor that it is).

At 1 week: I’m not thinking about the color of her skin, I’m thinking about the color of her poo. What’s up with the green tint? (Doctor says it’s the formula we’ve been supplementing her with for the jaundice.

At 2 weeks: Oh no, not diaper rash!

At 6 weeks: Yes, let’s talk about Betty’s skin. Seriously, what’s up with this baby acne all over her face, back, stomach, and neck? That can’t be normal. (Doctor once again assures us it is and it goes away in 2 weeks.)

3 months: Look at Betty’s gums. Do you think she’s teething early? Also, Betty seems to get a little confused when my sister comes to visit. (Though she doesn’t really like strangers at this point, Betty decides that she digs this Sorta-Looks-Like-Mommy. This will kick off a trend of her being extra smiley with dark-skinned black women. Funny.)

4 months: I love this baby fat! In fact, I just made up a crunk song called, “Do the Chubby Leg.” Do you think we should record it for YouTube? (CH just laughs and shakes his head. Not sure if that’s a yes or a no.)

As you can see, race hasn’t really come up with Betty yet, but let’s not sleep, we know it  will eventually. So over the next week I want to explore these questions:

1. Special, Lucky, or Confused? Do we really need to spin biracial?

2. How responsible are you for your child’s views on race?

3. Protection vs. Prevention vs. Preparedness.

So do come back  and weigh in on all of these topics. Til then, if you want to hear more of my thoughts on pregnancy and new motherhood, the kind folks over at Mommie2Be have made me their October Mommie of the Month, and I answered a bunch of questions on both topics.

Oh, and one more announcement. I decided to dedicate the last week of our Month of Minefields to Feminism. Like Religion, this isn’t a topic people asked me to write on, but I’ve been having so many discussions about it lately, I thought it would be a good one to bring to the table. Hit me up in the comments if you have any thoughts on subtopics for this one. I’m open.

100% Best,

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Similar Posts:

  • Philosophical Monday: The Best Working Vacation Ever
  • Philosophical Monday: The Real Baby Gap
  • Philosophical Monday: Is It Time to Join a Mommy Group?
  • Philosophical Monday: Off To Belgium, Baby or Does Kindle Offer The Lonely Planet?
  • Wow! It’s Wednesday! How Responsible Are We For Our Kids’ Views On Race?

*No top 5, betty experience, Month of Minefields, Philosophical Monday, Raising Biracial Kids
Ernessa T. Carter

About the author

In addition to running Fierce and Nerdy, Ernessa T. Carter is the author of 32 CANDLES, a romantic comedy that is totally worth buying.
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  • intensedebate.com/people/DebraB DebraB

    First, you ladies both look fabulous in that picture! I love the pink Bjorn, too.

    Second, I thought the article on Mommie2Be was great. It was a good thing for me to read right now. I read the live blog of Betty's birth (who didn't?), but now that I'm literally packing my hospital bags and trying to get a birth plan written by tomorrow, it was nice to see the perspective from the other side.

    Can't wait to read what you have in store for us this week!

  • intensedebate.com/people/DebraB DebraB

    First, you ladies both look fabulous in that picture! I love the pink Bjorn, too.

    Second, I thought the article on Mommie2Be was great. It was a good thing for me to read right now. I read the live blog of Betty's birth (who didn't?), but now that I'm literally packing my hospital bags and trying to get a birth plan written by tomorrow, it was nice to see the perspective from the other side.

    Can't wait to read what you have in store for us this week!

  • dailylifeofme2.blogspot.com/ Keya

    I don't see my child as biracial either. I see him as my baby. And in my mind my husband isn't white, he's my husband. I guess when it's your family you really don't look at color. But the outside world does.
    Cute picture.

  • dailylifeofme2.blogspot.com/ Keya

    I don't see my child as biracial either. I see him as my baby. And in my mind my husband isn't white, he's my husband. I guess when it's your family you really don't look at color. But the outside world does.
    Cute picture.

  • intensedebate.com/people/MMKV MMKV

    I wish I could say that we live in a postracial society, but we don't. And I wish I could say that when I see my little Sekou as just my son, but I can't….that is not a luxury I feel I have in a society that is far from postracial. Sekou is definitely biracial, my husband Brian is white and that has implications for my family.

    I look forward to reading your blogs this week E.

  • intensedebate.com/people/MMKV MMKV

    I wish I could say that we live in a postracial society, but we don't. And I wish I could say that when I see my little Sekou as just my son, but I can't….that is not a luxury I feel I have in a society that is far from postracial. Sekou is definitely biracial, my husband Brian is white and that has implications for my family.

    I look forward to reading your blogs this week E.

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