SECRET LAWS OF STARTUPS (PART 1) – BUILD RIGHT THING
We have a special treat for the official launch of Extreme Startups. Today’s post is guest authored by the infamous giant robot dinosaur of the startup world, FAKEGRIMLOCK. He’s previously authored posts for the likes of Fred Wilson, Brad Feld, Eric Reis, and CNN Money. You can connect with him on Twitter and stay up-to-date on all of the lastest robot dinosaur happenings on FAKEGRIMLOCK’s blog. This post is licensed through Creative Commons and can be reposted anywhere with attribution.
ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK, SAY CONGRATULATIONS! YOU STARTUP! YOU NOW 3000% MORE AWESOME THAN REGULAR PUNY HUMAN!
YOU PROBABLY FAIL.
ME WANT YOU FAIL LESS. SO MUCH LESS YOU WIN! HOW? IT SIMPLE. NO BREAK LAWS.
SECRET LAWS OF STARTUPS.
THIS LAW 1: BE SHOES
BEST PRODUCT TAKE THING PERSON DO. DO BETTER!
WORST TAKE THING NO ONE DO. BETTER NOT MATTER.
NO ONE WANT DO NEW THING. MAKE SHOES INSTEAD. EVERYONE LIKE SHOES. GO ON FEET, MAKE WALK BETTER.
MOST IMPORTANT: NOT WALK DIFFERENT.
TAKE THING EVERYONE DO THAT SUCK. TURN SUCK INTO AWESOME. NOW ONLY NEW THING THEM LEARN IS PAY YOU MONEY.
BREAK LAW: YOU FAIL WHILE FIGHT HUMAN NATURE. NO CAN WIN! IT BIG.
THIS LAW 2: DO ONE THING…AWESOME
GOOD STARTUP IS BEST THERE IS AT WHAT IT DO. WHAT IT DO LOTS EASIER IF ONLY ONE OF THEM.
USERS HAVE TINY BRAINS. ONLY ONE SLOT FOR “THING YOU DO.” THEM FORGET EVERYTHING ELSE. SO YOU FORGET TOO.
KILL EVERYTHING NOT DO BEST. ITERATE UNTIL DO ONE THING MOST AWESOME OF ALL, NOT LOTS OF THINGS NOT AWESOME AT ALL.
BREAK LAW: YOU FAIL ON GIANT PILE OF SECOND BEST.
THIS LAW 3: BUILD THING PEOPLE WANT
WHY ME EXPLAIN THIS? BECAUSE EVERYONE DO WRONG! YOU NOT BUILD WHAT PEOPLE WANT, YOU BUILD WHAT YOU WANT!
THAT FAIL, BECAUSE MARKET NOT YOU.
HOW FIND WHAT PEOPLE WANT? NO CAN! ASK INTERNET INSTEAD. SEARCH “LEAN STARTUP.”
IT LIKE PAY LOTS OF MONEY FOR GENIUS PRODUCT DEVELOPMENT PERSON, EXCEPT IT WORK. BECAUSE SCIENCE!
BREAK LAW: YOU FAIL BECAUSE BUILD THING NO ONE WANT. THAT MEAN NO ONE WANT IT!
THIS LAW 4: FIGHT FOR USER
HOW KEEP STARTUP WHAT PEOPLE WANT? FIGHT FOR USER! FIGHT FOR USER LIKE THEM ONLY THING THAT MATTER. BECAUSE THEM IS.
USER DEBT WORSE THAN TECHNICAL DEBT. MORE TAKE FROM USER, CLOSER GET TO FAIL. EVERY CHANGE. EVERY DECISION. EVERY LINE OF CODE.
STARTUP NOT FOR YOU. IT FOR THEM. NEVER FORGET.
BREAK LAW: YOU FAIL BECAUSE DUMB CHOICES DRIVE USERS AWAY.
THIS LAW 5: BE CONTAGIOUS
TWO WAYS GET USERS. SPEND GIANT PILE MONEY ON MARKETING, OR SPEND NOTHING.
SECOND ONE LOTS CHEAPER.
BUILD STARTUP SO EACH USER IS RECRUITMENT ENGINE. DESIGN SO USE GET FRIENDS TO USE. MAKE EVERY THING USER DO FREE MARKETING.
WHEN EQUATION USERS = MORE USERS, YOU WIN.
NOT HARD AS SOUND. SEARCH “VIRAL LOOP”. IT MOST IMPORTANT IDEA YOUR COMPETITORS TOO STUPID TO KNOW ABOUT.
BREAK LAW: YOU FAIL WHILE SPEND ALL MONEY ON ADS THAT NOT WORK.
THAT HALF THE BATTLE
NOW YOU KNOW FIRST FIVE SECRET LAWS OF STARTUPS. YOU SMART NOW! MORE SMART THAN OTHER STARTUPS! GO BUILD MORE AWESOME!
IT THE LAW.
Great post! FAKE GRIMLOCK WIN.
ALWAYS.
Pure genius
NEVER USE GENIUS LESS THAN 100 PROOF.
(140 EVEN BETTER)
because, awesome
THAT BEST REASON OF ALL!
Only reason for anything
Thanks Grimmy for the guest post! IT AWESOME.
YOU WELCOME! OR ELSE!
true dat.
SHOES. win
TRUTHNESS!
“IT THE LAW.” — AMEN
BACON! I mean, AWESOME.
So the problem becomes forcing developers to become marketers and react to the market during the entire development process? This normally the thing that drives me to hide in a corner and just “do it my way,” and let other people figure out how to sell the widgets.
(Technical brain cells + marketing brain cells == next iteration) //—->?????
BUILD FOR USER NOT REQUIRE YOU BE MARKETER. JUST REQUIRE YOU NOT BE SELFISH.
NO ONE HELP YOU SELL THING BUILD BY IGNORE USER. BECAUSE NO ONE WANT IT.
BUILD RIGHT THING INSTEAD.
YOU NOT GIANT ROBOT DINOSAUR. YOU GOD. ME ALRADY KNOW ALL OF THIS. BUT ME LOVE HOW YOU MAKE IT EVEN CLEAR MORE FOR PUNY HUMAN.
PUNY HUMANS! ASK ABOUT SECRET RULES OF STARTUPS HERE!
HOW DOES VIRAL LOOP
YOU TOO LAZY FOR TYPE INTO GOOGLE?
HERE LINK: andrewchenblog.com/2007/07/11/whats-your-viral-loop-understanding-the-engine-of-adoption/
HERE OTHER LINK: primitus.com/blog/how-to-scale-viral-loops-101/
TOO LAZY TO GOOGLE IS ME. THANKS FOR LAWS AND LOOPS
I have a thing for anything written by a giant robot dinosaur (Grimmy knows that). What I’m going to remember forever and ever is the Amazing Knee Sled 2.0. It’s like everything you see in SkyMall magazine and wonder, “Who the hell buys this stuff?” BE SHOES is always the best answer because no one really needs the gravity-defying hovercraft or the hot dog cooker/bun warmer. Finding market discrepancies is a talent, not a right. The most talented succeed, and what better way to give your company a leg up than start from a place that’s designed to help you succeed? SHOES.
SHOES GREAT. OBVIOUS HOW TO USE, OBVIOUS WHY WANT TO USE.
ALL STARTUPS SHOULD BE SHOES.
IF U BUILD SHOES, THEY BUILD SHOES AND I BUILD SHOES, THEN WORLD TOO MANY SHOES!!
THERE ALWAYS ROOM FOR MAKE BETTER SHOES.
Hey FG, What a surprise to see you here. EVP was one of my seed investors, and I’m in the same office as they are. But I had to find out about this from my Engagio Sites folders which listed this entry on top of the list of my Top Contacts. Technology works! It told me what was happening 3 floors below me.
FG makes it into Canada! Yoo Hoo!
ON INTERNET, 3 FLOORS AWAY SAME AS BE IN OTHER NATION.
Hi Mr. Grimlock AWESOME Post,
Simple rules to help you be successful
BASE LAWS OF EVERYTHING ALWAYS SIMPLE.
UNTIL LEARN THOSE, UNDERSTAND DETAILS IMPOSSIBLE.
I’m proud to say I’ve made this robo dinosaur’s #noeatfriday multiple times!