Dear Carolyn,

After years of being alone, I have just started dating a new woman I met online. We get along well but I have to say, I’m just not feeling it. I find myself making excuses to not see her and am increasingly annoyed by little things she does. We have only been dating for a few weeks and I am not sure if I should give it more time? I’m afraid I will end up alone if I am this picky!

What do you think?

Dave

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Dear Dave,

You are just not that into her. Don’t settle for someone who annoys you this soon into the relationship. The first few weeks are reserved for blinding attraction that over powers the little things. You skipped right past this step into highly annoyed by all she does. Not good.

Don’t label this as your “last chance.” Politely and with kindness, tell her you are moving on. And then cast a wider net. Settling for someone is not only bad for you, it’s bad for her.

I’m just say’n,

Carolyn

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‎”Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”  Happy Birthday to Dr. Seuss!

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Dear Carolyn,

I really love my trucking job but am worried about the future. I am at least 75 lbs. overweight, have high blood pressure and probably sleep apnea. I try to eat a healthy diet and get a little exercise, but it’s hard. The hours are long and boring and if it’s in my truck and not nailed down, I eat it! Please don’t yell at me and tell me what an idiot I am. I know that already. And I read all the diet and fitness advice in this magazine and other places. I was once a healthy guy who liked to hunt, fish and swim laps. Now, I do nothing but drive and eat or eat and drive. It’s the loneliness and boredom that I can’t shake. I’m not asking you for a solution, just to listen to me.

Mel

Dear Mel,

I hear ya buddy. And believe me, you are not alone. The loneliness and long boring hours will do in just about anyone if you let it. You are one step ahead of the game because you recognize the triggers and you seem to want to do better. Intent is a very strong motivator. You took the time to write this letter and hit send. While that may not burn any calories, it might be the moment you made a decision to do a little bit better.

Check out some of the stories on Truckers News/Facebook site about truckers like you who have made the decision to improve their health. They are very generous with their time and encouragement.

Good luck to you.

I’m just say’n,

Carolyn

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Dear Carolyn,

After years of being alone, I have just started dating a new woman I met on Facebook. We get along well but I have to say, I’m just not feeling it. I find myself making excuses not to see her and am increasingly annoyed by little things she does. We have only been dating for a few weeks and I am not sure if I should give it more time. I’m afraid I will end up alone if I am this picky!

What do you think?

Lance

Dear Last Chance Lance,

You are just not that into her.  Don’t settle for someone who annoys you in the first few weeks. Don’t label this as your “last chance.” Politely and with kindness, tell her you are moving on. And then cast a wider net. Settling for someone is not only bad for you, it’s bad for her. And, you don’t sound like that kind of guy.

I’m just say’n,

Carolyn

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Dear Carolyn,

I hate hate hate this time of year. Please tell me if I should buy my wife candy, flowers or reservations for dinner?

George

Dear George,

Yes, yes and yes.

I’m just say’n,

Carolyn

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Dear Carolyn,

Have I told you lately how much I hate Valentine’s Day? This year, instead of complaining that I don’t have a boyfriend, I’m planning to celebrate Discount Chocolate Wednesday!

Let the chocolate frenzy begin!

Single and Not Sorry

Dear No Sorrows,

Sounds like a good plan to me!

I’m just say’n

Carolyn

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Dear Carolyn,

I’m a truck driver who recently asked out a nice gal who works in the main office the small trucking company I drive for. We had a good time and I would like to ask her out again. However, she has not returned any or my calls or text messages since the date.

Does this mean she’s not interested? I wish she would just say so.

Kevin,

Dear Kevin,

She did.

Sorry, I know that sounds mean but if she’s not returning your calls and is not dead or in a ditch somewhere, she’s not interested. I hate it when that happens and it happens all the time. All of our devices makes it both easier to connect and easier to disconnect.

There are other fish in the sea. Go fishing.

I’m just say’n,

Carolyn

PS Don’t call her anymore! More than three unreturned calls = stalking.

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Dear Carolyn,

I was happily married for five years but as it turns out, my wife was not. She never shared that particular tidbit of information in our short time together. As far as I knew, all was well. I’m not pretending that I’m perfect but I’m not a mind reader either. I came home from a long trip and she had moved out and left me a note saying she was filing for divorce.  No explanation. No reason. No idea what happened.

Later, I found out that she found another guy. While I was out there calling her, sending her texts, mailing funny cards and generally trying to do a good job to put a roof over her head, she was “lonely.” Well, she knew I was a trucker when we got married and she said it was fine with her.

I’m bitter. But I blame the trucking life for my marriage’s break-up. If I could be home like a normal human, she would not have had to turn to another guy out of loneliness. So, my advice is to get the heck out of trucking.

I’m just say’n,

Ben

Dear Ben,

You didn’t choose the wrong profession, you chose the wrong gal. Plenty of long distance marriages work out. It takes two committed people and in your case, you were a party of one.

I’m just say’n,

Carolyn

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Dear Carolyn,

My best friend thinks I should break up with my boyfriend. She makes good points about all his bad points. But she never mentions anything about his good qualities. I’m starting to wonder about her motivation. Lately, I’ve been thinking she might have her eye on him!

What do you think?

Kate

Dear Kate,

This is reason #272 why you should not depend on BFF’s for relationship advice.

If you have the “feeling” that all is not as it seems, pay attention to those vibes. Everyone has bad points. What you have to determine is; do his good qualities outweigh his negative ones? I would focus on the relationship with your boyfriend before you make any big decisions based on your girlfriend’s opinion.

As for your BFF?  Gently suggest she look for her very own Mr. Perfect. That ought to keep her busy!

I’m just say’n,

Carolyn

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About Me: Carolyn Magner

I'm not a professional therapist, shrink or even a very nice person. My advice is meant to entertain you, not solve your horrible problems. If you are in real trouble, please call someone who has gone to school for a very long time. Otherwise, you can email me at cmagner@randallreilly.com and read my column in Truckers News found in www.etrucker.com or www.truckersnews.com.

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