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Excerpt from Miss Humbug: December 16th Merry Christmas, Ms. Houston, the elderly doorman tipped his
hat as he opened the glass door to the office complex. Good morning, Elaina Houston waved her gloved hand and
brushed past him. She headed straight for the elevator and pressed the
up button. The toe of her black stilettos impatiently tapped the green
marble floor as she waited. She removed her gloves and put them in her
coat pockets. After forty seconds, she released a heavy sigh and thrust
her hand to her hip. Elainas immaculate burgundy nails tapped against
her black wool overcoat. Her eyes darted to the stair entrance and then
down at her high heels. Just as she decided that the stairs wouldnt be such a great
idea, the elevator dinged and the door opened. She tossed her hand with
an impatient flair and then hurried inside, carrying her leather
briefcase as three people stepped off and four others followed her. Her
index finger pressed 15 and both hands clasped the handle of the
briefcase in front of her. The elevator stopped on nearly every floor
between the first and the 15th, letting people off and others on. By
the time they reached the tenth floor, Elaina checked her watch and
released an irritated sigh five til nine. She should be in her
office right now. She was so preoccupied with the time that she didnt notice Nick
Aimes, the tall, strapping heartthrob of Mullins and Mullrooney
Enterprises. Every woman in the office practically threw herself at the
blonde-haired, blue-eyed Southerner. Born and bred near Nashville,
Tennessee, his mother had evidently spent quite a bit of time training
her son in the proper use of Maams and Sirs and how to open doors
and hail taxies for the fairer sex in such a way that even the most
hardened New York City feminist could not be offended. He was quite a
novelty in the mile-a-minute Elaina was as hard as those long burgundy nails of hers. For her,
everything was about business. Her co-workers joked about her when she
wasnt around. They wondered if she even slept. If she did, her dreams
were probably about spreadsheets and marketing strategies. More likely
she plugged into a recharging station at night like a Borg from Star
Trek. Nick smiled as he studied Elaina, his eyes traveling from her ash
blonde hair pulled back in an immaculate bun to her professional
business suit. He pictured her with wires coming out of her beautiful
body connecting her to the collective consciousness of the Borg. The
humor faded from his lips, replaced by a sad expression. She was really
quite pitiful cool and aloof most of the time. The only emotions she
seemed to possess were irritation and impatience. As far as he could
tell she had no family, no one who loved her, and no one to love. Ice
Woman was what Charlie in packaging called her. Of course, Charlie
was a relentless flirt and Nick had warned him he was wasting his energy
pursuing Elaina. Nick remembered the time Charlie finally got up the
nerve to ask her to dinner; Elaina shot him down cold. Thank you, No, was her frigid reply. If hed been a
telemarketer she would have replaced the receiver coolly before he got
out his first, But Instead she clapped her heels across the
granite floor, entered her office and shut the door. She left Charlie
with the proverbial tail caught between his legs. If friendly Charlie couldnt pull off a dinner invitation with
Elaina, no one else stood a chance. So no one else tried. That was two
years ago and no one had attempted an invitation since. Even the females
who tried to befriend Elaina found themselves pushed away. Elaina glanced up at the floor indicator and noticed Nick staring
at her. What was that expression on his face? Pity? The corners of his
lips turned up and he nodded his head in a friendly gesture. The pity
was still there though. Shed have none of it neither his nor
anyone elses. She made no attempt to return the acknowledgement, but
turned her aloof gaze back to see that the elevator had now reached her
floor. The doors opened and she rushed out, her stilettos clapping
across the floor toward her office. Nick exited after her, watched her for several moments, and then
turned in the opposite direction toward his own office. He passed
several people in the hall on his way. Good morning, Mr. Aimes, a tall redheaded secretary greeted
him from her cubicle. Good morning, Melissa! He gave her a cheery nod, Merry
Christmas! Merry Christmas! greeted several other office workers as they
milled around the water cooler. Elaina shut her office door and set her briefcase down on her desk,
opened it and pulled out a memory stick containing the presentation
shed worked on last night at home. She walked over to the window to
her office that looked out over the rows of cubicles. A glittering
Christmas tree laden with gold, silver and red ornaments stood in the
center. Cubicles encircled it as if everyone were gathered around some
sort of shrine. Christmas, she gritted her teeth. It wont be over soon
enough for me. Theyre all useless at this time of year. Cant get a
thing out of them, she thought to herself. All they do is watch
the clock, waiting for the moment they can leave and go waste more of
their money on presents, parties, and decorations. From a marketing standpoint, she had to admit that nothing was so
ingenious as to have millions of people go out automatically every
November and December and spend money they dont have on things they
dont need. She wished shed thought of it herself. As a matter of
fact, she wished she owned a credit card company. Those people were the
ones making a killing! Instead she worked for Mullins and Mullrooney.
Those two had been in business since the day they graduated Harvard.
They were the two most soft-hearted venture capitalists on the planet
investing in everything from innovative computer gadgets to the
latest leak-guard diaper. Any inventor who thought he had the next best
thing since the invention of the PC traipsed through Mullins and
Mullrooney Enterprises, pitching their wares. It was Elainas job to figure out how to market the stuff.
Sometimes she had her job cut out for her because, personally, she
couldnt see why anyone would buy the junk no matter how Charlie
from packaging wrapped it or Nick from development improved upon the
design. The fact was, that
Mr. Mullins and Mr. Mullrooney felt it their God-ordained obligation to
help every poor dreamer they encountered. Because their hearts were
bigger than their brains, the company didnt thrive the way Elaina
knew it could. If I were in charge, things would be a lot different around
here, thats for sure, she muttered under her breath. The first
thing to go would be that stupid tree. She closed the shades so she
wouldnt have to see the insufferable symbol of holiday cheer. She sat down at her desk and went to work on her computer. She
looked up when she heard a knock at the door. Come, she answered. Ms. Houston, here are the figures from Development and Packaging
on that new diaper bag with the built-in bottle warmer, Angela laid a
stack of papers on Elainas desk. When will those guys ever learn to use e-mail and just shoot
over the files? Elaina asked her secretary. Angela shrugged, I believe its because Mr. Mullins and Mr.
Mullrooney like hard copies. But I dont like hard copies. Theyre a waste of
paper and time. I just have to ask for the files anyway in order to
perform my calculations. Yes, Ms. Please do that. They dont seem to read my e-mails. Angela nodded and left the room, mumbling something under her
breath that Elaina didnt quite catch. ~*~ At 4:45 p.m., Elaina checked her e-mail and clicked the headline of
the company-wide memo. Effective now through Christmas, everyone must vacate the
building by 5:15 p.m. Go home and enjoy your families and the holiday
season! Merry Christmas! Mr. Roger Mullrooney Good grief! Elaina rolled her eyes. How do they expect to
run a profitable business with this kind of nonsense? Oh right I
forgot they arent in it for profit, came her sarcastic quip.
Our mission statement is to make the little guys dreams come
true, she sneered with another roll of her eyes, talking to
herself as she so often did. She spent the last few minutes e-mailing work home to herself. If
they wouldnt let her use her office, shed just have to finish her
work at home. Someone had to keep them from running the business into
the ground. The elevators overflowed with people following orders to vacate the
building. Elaina managed to find a spot in the group taking the second
elevator. The crowd of people closed in around her. Elaina began to feel
smothered as with each new floor the elevator picked up new people.
Elaina took a deep breath, attempting to control her frustration. What
was that tantalizing smell? It had to be the best smelling mens
cologne on the planet. Why dont we represent the inventors of that
stuff? She looked around to see who smelled so wonderful and found the
source beside her. Nick Aimes eyes followed the numbers 12, 11,
10. He stood close incredibly close. Her eyes darted back toward the
door. Why was her heart beating so fast? Claustrophobia thats it
crammed in this dinky elevator with so many people. She inhaled
again. Dang! He smells good! The elevator stopped again, letting two more people on. As they
nudged their way in, a woman in heels lost her balance and fell
backwards, sending the others with a domino effect toward Elaina. Nick
lunged forward and knocked Elaina off balance. He reached out his left
hand to brace himself against the wall of the elevator and his other
went around her waist. He pulled her toward him in one strong tug to
prevent her from falling. People shoved them so far over that now Elainas back pressed
against the wall of the elevator, Nicks arm still encircled her waist
and his pale blue eyes caught hers as his left arm still braced against
the wall over her head. His muscular form stood a full foot taller than
her and as her eyes caught his, her heart hammered. She completely
forgot to breathe. She could even feel a flush rising to her cheeks. He
was smiling now those darn dimples and his thick, smooth Nick watched Elaina nod, indicating she was all right, then felt an
elbow jab into his back, causing him to move even closer to her until
their faces were only inches apart. She may be cool as a cucumber, but
she was beautiful. A wisp of her ash blonde hair escaped from her
careful bun, and he could see the struggle in her emerald eyes
wanting to maintain her cool exterior, but there was something else.
His gaze dropped to her heart-shaped mouth. Soon, the group in the elevator managed to right themselves, but
Nick still leaned over her with his arm around her waist. Elaina forced
her eyes from his, studying his engaging smile. It was a different one
than he usually wore when he looked at her. There wasnt the usual
pity. He was interested in her! For a fleeting second, Elaina felt
flattered, but the emotion vanished as quickly as it arrived. Nonsense!
She didnt have time for a messy office romance! Excuse me, she moved to escape his presence, but there
wasnt much of anywhere to go. Elaina deduced that Nick had come to his senses and realized he was
hovering over the Ice Woman because he excused himself, released her,
and turned to the door. They both stepped off the elevator on the first
floor. Nick buttoned the top buttons of his khaki wool overcoat,
tightened his red Christmas scarf around his neck and accompanied her to
the front door. The doorman opened the glass door, and Nick gestured for Elaina to
go first. Merry Christmas, Elaina, Nick waved as she started left and
he went right. Good night, she replied as she continued on her way, her heels clicking against the pavement. Miss
Humbug is now available on Amazon
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Miss
Humbug