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MSRC Learning Tools Vol. I: Some ABC’s of Making Raspas in West Texas
(ed. note: this post originally appeared in the first incarnation of this web site way back before the Internet in late 2008. It’s been re-posted due to unpopular demand, to help give more context to things that just didn’t fit in the FAQ. We know it’s quite dated, tho, so please chill before you tell us stuff is old or irrelevant or the like.)
Alpine
The dry weather’s awesome for raspas because they’re like, mostly ice…which I’ve heard is mostly water…so they offer super-refreshing relief, but in tasty spoonfuls. The desert heat not so much because, duh, ice melts.
Big Bend Sentinel
We like this paper because Sentinel is a cool word.
Cholla
When making raspas, it’s very tempting to add certain flavors and elements to enhance the snow cone’s tastes and textures. However, one must always be careful not to add cacti to the mix. It will hurt. If not immediately, definitely later. So if you come in and ask for us to add this or any other cactus to yr raspa, please understand that while we do try to please our customers, we have a strict “No Cholla” policy.
De Vaca, Cabeza
Not to give the Spanish even more history shout-outs, but c’mon…this dude TOTALLY came through here looking for raspas while recording the New World’s first album, Malhado Mayhem. And he was prolly barefoot, too. This small Watermelon/Grape one’s fer you, brougham.
Elephantine Raspas
Always a disaster. Trying to recreate Twin Peaks with shaved ice is a pretty cool idea until someone gets hurt. Moderation is the key. Or something.
Flag Raspas
Mexico is always fun. France is nice, but I don’t think that blue coconut should be in there—just my opinion. China looks easy, but nah…it never comes out right. Please don’t order Mozambique.
(Sphenopalatine) Ganglioneuralgia
Brain freeze sucks! You’ll never get those 75 seconds back. We heard the only thing that will make you forget the pain is another ice cream and/or raspa.
“Human Cloud?”
Our ice shaver is LOUD when it’s running. Sorry if we can’t hear you talk about last weekend in Terlingua. It’s bad enough our back is to you, so don’t get too upset when we get names wrong and buy tickets to the play and call you the next day to chew you out, only to find out you said “someday” and not “Sunday”. And sorry if it’s scaring yr baby. Pretend the train’s coming by.
Ice Age
When you think about it, those wooly mammoth-hide-covered dudes and ladies were totally scraping glaciers and flavoring the ice down here…um…ages ago. Saber-tooth Tiger’s Blood?
Jalapeño Raspas
We’re working on it!
Kilometer vs. Mile
We have no problem with people calling it a snow cone or shaved ice. None whatsoever. We call it a raspa because that’s what we grew up calling it. Same thing with mangueras and picture-radios.
Loteria
Cristina did the Loteria stuff. She didn’t “make” the melamine plates or the mugs in pottery class, but she did make the images and whatnot…and then another company came along and made the mugs. Again: Cristina made the paintings. Somebody else put them on plastic and stoneware so you can take them home.
“Mijo, dame una de red.”
Seriously? I mean, we have like 8 reds. Our default “red” from now will be “Vanilla”.
Nervousness
Even when we only had one flavor to offer (“red”…ah, the good old days), people would come in and bite their nails and wince. DO NOT PANIC when ordering a raspa. Take both yr time and a deep breath. Tell yrself, “If this truly is the toughest decision of my day, then I’m pretty blessed.” West Texas is known for nurturing the importance of pace in daily life, and that translates to raspas as well.
Ounces
How much syrup is too much? Good question. Too much and yr lips are blue until next Fiesta del Sol. Too little and half the ice isn’t even touched. We try to be pretty good about it, but if it’s not “brightening yr ocotillo,” let us know.
Pickle Juice
Dude, stop pretending you invented pickle juice raspas. That was done, like, centuries ago (See “D”). We will respect you for getting ‘em, but don’t push it.
Queen of Raspas
You don’t inherit this title, but it does give an air of nobility. We’ll bestow it on someone someday. Keep in mind, it’s not only quantity—there’ll be points for adventurousness and loyalty.
Rasta Company
That one was only funny the first 10 billion times.
Sour
Tart? Salty and pickly? Hush. We’re salivating. Citric acid is what angels drink in heaven.
Tiger’s Blood
Remember when the one at Edgewood Square had the one called “Dragon’s Blood”? But it was misspelled on one side like, with extra g’s and stuff? Was that the same flavor? No. And hey, don’t give us weird looks when we describe the flavor as “citrus-y, with fruity berry tones and coconut-ness”…it’s called Tiger’s Blood fer Murphy’s sake.
Ultrasour Raspas
Okay, okay, we will make yrs very sour if you’d like. I would say “as sour as you want” but then someone’s gonna come in trying to prove something and either get too soured out and start fights with chicks or they’re going to be addicted and robbing houses for sour tangerine raspas.
Vachel Lindsay
We heard it was originally going to be titled “Every Soul Is a Raspa”.
Wiener
Salchicha is the Company’s official mascot. She totally digs other dogs even if her feelings get hurt pretty easily. Like all little dogs, she’s wary of little kids, but she will behave.
(ed. note: Awwwwwwwww… :’( )
Xeriscaping
Our raspas require little to no irrigation or maintenance. But sometimes we run out of the long spoons and have to use the short spoons and it gets a little awkward. We wanted to explain it with a folded note (college-ruled paper!) but yr friends were watching and we got scared.
YACHT
Dude, if they played here…HERE?…the circle would be complete. De Vaca, Mr. Murphy, Bob Bell, YACHT….ker-aazy! They would get free raspas.*
Zombies
Waaaaaaaaaait! Before you get the shovel to knock the head off that unholy, undead monstrosity that used to be yr cousin, please try giving it a raspa first. Justin made one that’s pretty invigorating, and it could work. It’ll save you lots of tears.
*Hey hey hey! One each…jeeeez.