Discovering Your Friend is a Republican

I would like to share with you my experience and what I have learned from it so that others may more openly deal with this sensitive issue.

Early one cold Friday morning in late March I took a brisk walk across my small, snowy upstate New York college campus to my Feminist Liberal Anthropology class only to discover a note scrawled hastily on the door by Professor Kaufman’s teaching assistant announcing that today’s lesson had been canceled. I would have to forego my in-depth indoctrination to the patriarchal power structure of the African Tree Squirrel on account of a special rally supporting the human rights of federal prison inmates, who wish to go on hiatus from their sentences, in order to spend more time with their families. We were all encouraged to join the good professor who would be in attendance of the demonstration all day.

Somehow though, the raging hangover headache I still carried from last nights Thirsty Thursday party told me that the greatest cause I could champion at the moment would be returning to my dorm room to sleep off the rest of what was left of Power Hour in my blood stream.

After another brisk yet more upbeat walk, I quietly opened the door of my small two-man dorm room. The stale odor of pizza boxes, sweaty socks and what can only be described as “Guy Stench” hit me square in the nostrils as I entered.

As I rounded the corner, I found Brian hunched over his monitor. In the dark, the glow of the screen created a silhouette on the wall next to him. It appeared that his hands were focused somewhere in his lap… I didn’t want to see.

“It smells like something crawled inside you and died!” I shouted with a grin, startling him upright.
Brian spun around quickly in his swivel chair and stared at me in horror. A book fell from his lap.
“I… I… thought you had class.” was all he could stammer.


But as I looked past him to his computer screen, it was now my turn to be in shock. Now, I like to consider myself open minded, and I didn’t want to overreact to the situation. I have admittedly seen many depraved things during my internet travels: But I couldn’t conceal my immediate revulsion when I saw “National Review Online” up on my roommates screen. I stood motionless in the uncomfortable silence. I looked at the book on the Cheeto covered floor. It was titled “Liberal Lies about the American Right” by Ann Coulter. Re-appropriated as a bookmark peeking out of the pages was a Bush/Cheney ’04 bumper sticker….

I felt a lot of emotions the day I found out my best friend was a Republican. Up until that moment the only things I thought he got passionate about were sex and substance abuse. Now that his secret was finally out in the open, a lot of things made sense, like the little elephant symbol sewn onto his backpack. We were still close friends, and I knew I could handle this. That day we got to talking about what it meant to be a Republican and how this would shape his life.


It is right to be compassionate to conservatives and help them through a difficult time of their life when they may be questioning themselves and their personal identity. Through my experience with my close friend and roommate Brian, I have learned to respect the Republican lifestyle and have outlined answers to several important questions that you may have if you discover that your roommate or friend is a Republican or you feel you may be Republican yourself:

Why do Republicans flaunt their political association?
At first you may feel uncomfortable around openly Republican people, especially someone you share a living space with. These feelings of unease are totally natural and you should discuss them with your new Republican friend. Although their views and ideologies may seem wrong and socially regressive to you, they have a right to express them, just as you have the right to teach the tenets of justice and equality. So what may seem like flaunting is really just their version of freedom of expression. While their despicable views on taxing the poor while elevating the rich and their anti-abortion stance may make you flinch, bite your tongue. You will learn to accept the RCRF (Republican, Conservative, Right Wing and Fundamentalist Christian) Community over time.

How do I avoid saying hurtful things or offending my roommate after they admit they are Republican?
The best advice I can give is to simply gag yourself. Since you have no experience in dealing with RCRF people, more than likely everything you say is going to be wrong. Rather than commenting on their seemingly abhorrent point of view, it is better to take time to assess your own feelings about the situation.
Are their people that are trained to help others cope with this news?

Unfortunately no, not a lot of councilors have specific training in dealing with Republican and RCRF issues. I found the best way to deal with how you feel in learning someone you know is Republican is to simply find an understanding friend who is willing to listen.

What about Republican and RCRF support groups?
In finding someone to talk to, you and your new Republican friend may want to join one of many local support groups in your area. One such nationwide Republican support group is the PFCRWATTH (Parents and Friends of Conservatives and Republicans Who are There To Help.)

PFCRWATTH has local meetings about once a month where you can go and meet others who are new or recently indoctrinated into the RCRF Community. Attending a PFCRWATTH meeting, you will meet many relatives, friends and lovers of RCRF people who share your anxieties. Know that it is natural and we must give our love for RCRF individuals in order to strengthen our understanding.

Is there a cure for Conservatism?
To date there is no cure for conservatism. Most people who become Republicans, grow up having always had Republican feelings. Do you remember how you became a Liberal? Most people do not, and it is the same for Republicans. Discovering a Republican in your closet can be an enlightening experience. It is right to be compassionate to conservatives and help them through a difficult time of their life when they may be questioning themselves and their personal identity. Attempting to change who they really are would be wrong. You should put aside any thoughts of doing so and dissuade others who think this is a good idea.

Won’t my friends or parents think I’m Republican if I have a RCRF roommate or friend?
When I first found out my roommate was Republican, I asked myself “What does that say about me, that I could be so close to a Republican?” This does not mean anything about you personally, except that you are a trustworthy person that your friend is comfortable sharing his secret with. Rooming with a Republican or becoming friends with other Republicans does not make you Republican yourself just as smoking a joint doesn’t mean you should go to jail.
A lot of people also get scared that they will be seen as a Republican through association. This is a natural concern that you should openly discus with your new RCRF friends.

How do I know if I’m a Republican?
Becoming friends or acquaintances with members of the RCRF Community may make you question your own political convictions. You may realize that you feel different from your fellow students. While your classmates are protesting the World Trade Organization, you may find yourself more akin to purchasing stock in an environment destroying multinational conglomerate. Feelings such as these can cause Political Identity Confusion in young people who are just starting to formulate their political persuasions. Another factor that causes some youths to suppress their Republicanism is a fear of rejection. Many Conservatives feel and alienated from their liberal leaning friends and family. It is difficult to tell sometimes which friend or family member will be supportive of your decision to let them know you are Republican. In some cases young people who have come out as Republican have been kicked out of their homes when their families found out.

Is Being Republican Normal?
Being Republican is completely natural and healthy. I relate finding out a friend is Republican to trying a new vegetarian dish at the local Tofu Burger. While you’ve never had it before and it’s foreign to your taste buds, what’s the harm in at least trying it?

If I’m a Republican, how do I learn to like myself?
It’s hard for Republican young people to feel good about themselves because all around them are people who believe that they are sick or perverted and are destined to live unhappy lives. However more and more people are learning to accept Republicans, which in turn helps Republicans like themselves. On one campus they even let them fly the GOP flag right next to Old Glory. If you or a friend is Republican it helps to read books about RCRF people for inspiration. You should choose a successful Republican to look up to when you feel awkward or ashamed of your political affiliation. I encourage you to say, “I’m a Republican and I’m OK.”

For more information please contact:
RCRF
The Republican Conservative Right-Wing Fundamentalist-Christian Community
“A Return to the Family Values of our Forefathers.”