Electronic Breakup

Dear

* Name of person you want to break up with

* Email of the person you want to send this to

You have been my Type of relationship you have with this person

Boyfriend Girlfriend Parent Pet Brother Sister Facebook Friend Friend Wife Husband Lover

for Choose how long you've had this relationship for

way too long one night as long as I can friggin' remember a little while

and I'm sending you this note because Remember, there's no pressure to be honest, that's the beauty of this service

I've been thinking a lot about our relationship lately. I'd rather watch a bunch of kittens drown than hear your voice ever again. I'd rather jam my foot up my own fart chimney than live another day with you. you've got the personality of a burning rock. quite frankly, I don't even know who the hell you are.

Basically, I'm electronically breaking up with you because Here's where you can really do some good ol' fashioned emotional damage

you're bald there's nothing on TV and this seemed like more fun than vacuuming you're adopted you're dead to me I really care about you and want what is best for you I'm moving on...and by "moving on" I mean I've been cheating on you and don't give a flying sack of blood about what you think I can't afford you anymore I've fallen out of love you have small fun bags

and This is your closing statement you champion...make it count

just remember, it's not me, it's you. I just need you to know that I'd rather stab out my retina with a coin than ever see you again. I find this whole thing hillarious. Happy Anniversary, but tonight will be the last time we ever hump. I'm sorry I had to tell you like this...it was the most honorable way of breaking up that I could think of. I'll be in Mexico until this thing blows over...with my new lover. by the way, go hump yourself.

Sincerely, The final blow

Your ex. You've got some major issues. Me. The only guy to have his scrotum turned into a change purse. Your friend (with benefits still though right?) F off. Your neighbor.

You

* Your name

* Your email