Heather Gold led the discussion. People are missing quality connections, meaningful conversations online. If you have a deep conversation with someone face to face, can you continue that online? Can you have such a deep connection when you meet online?

Gail Williams: I see the words friend and community used to describe database divisions.

Shannon Clark: People in online communities who are bound together will almost inevitably reach out on other levels. The ones that last are the ones where there’s at least one in-person interaction. People you’ve had a meal with, whose house you’ve slept in are the ones you can build that relationship with.

Paul Clegg: Some email mailing lists simply have a friendlier tone, where it’s accepted that you can be off-topic once in a while, without getting slapped down.

Nevio: Five minutes with someone on the phone can be electric and I can feel completely understood. Because we talk about the things that really matter to me.

Susan Kuchinskas (Me): It’s about disclosure. If I tell you something personal and you accept it, I feel closer to you. Whether it’s me posting something dumb on a technical mailing list and others kindly answering my question instead of being snarky or saying something more personal.

Heather: When I do comedy and I do something to make someone shy open up, that opens up the room faster. Intentional sincerity.

Al Chang: Lightweight connection tools like LinkedIn or MySpace are a nice and easy way to maintain contact. MySpace provides a low-cost way to check in with someone, give them a light touch, let them know I was thinking about them.

Gina: I think it needs to be a private space, one where I know that not only will I be accepted and not slapped down, but also where I know that everyone in the world isn’t going to read it.

David: I’ve never had a close relationship with someone I haven’t met in person. It will never happen.

Gail: I have.

Gina: With Post Secret, I feel like I’ve had intimate experiences with people just by looking at what they made.

Paul: The failures in the last few years are the companies that think social networking is an application. LinkedIn is successful because it has a layer of jobs, it uses social networking to achieve a goal.

Heather: We have such a commercialized life, and the web is amplifying the idea that it’s only specific connections that link us together. I’d like to connect across differences.

Paul: People go to these sites for affirmation.

Heather: People can get more affirmation from their personal relationships.

Gail: Yes, but some people may have all the intense personal relationships they need, and they go online for something a little lighter.

Nevio: Some people love the lightweight connections because it’s too heavy to have this friendship workload.

Heather: We’ve forgotten the reason we talked to each other was to know each other.

– Susan Kuchinskas

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